The Small Things thread - can't keep us down!

DawnW

Lovely weather here at the moment, chilly, but sunny and windy, so ideal for drying washing

So far I have:
Washing out on line
Sorted dishwasher / kitchen area
Been to market in next town, bought veg and fruit for the week
Managed to pick up a few items to sell on at the flea market in the town hall
Sainsburys to get the rest of the shopping - and bought February's £5 worth for the food bank, as per my new year's resolution
OH made a norty bacon sandwich for lunch :D

Still to do:
Paperwork for business
Check banks and update spreadsheet
Check for surveys
Some housework
Mini burgers from Campbells delivery for dinner, with salad and a few potato wedges on the side

The relative we are bailing out atm has a day's work from one of the agencies I packed him off to, so OH and I have a few hours to ourselves without someone listening to our every word :T I told him yesterday that he needs to be out and standing on his own feet by the end of Feb - that will partly depend on work / benefits situation, but that is what I am aiming at. I can't have my grandchildren to stay all the time he is stuck in the spare bedroom I suspect I will need to pay out for a deposit on a rented room or whatever. This has happened SO any times :mad: I read on one of the other threads about something called the 'triangle' where people take specific roles, one of which is a 'rescuer'. That is definitely me, and reading about that has helped me to step back from his problems. In a way I am enabling him by allowing him to turn up here penniless and stay till he drives OH and I up the wall, then asking him to leave, rinse and repeat The annoying thing is he has a trade, and earns good wages when he does it, but then gambles it all away. He has allowed his trade card thing to lapse so can't do that atm. I have investigated the renewal process, made him apply and paid for it, so am now hoping it is straightforward. I suspect it may not be, as his qualifications are old.

Sorry for the moan!

thechubbyunicorn

Hi everyone :hello: I read this thread quite often and thought it was about time I joined in! Off work for a couple of days and I really need to get this spare room (the room of doom!) decluttered. I have so many clothes that don't fit anymore as they are way too small. There are some I'm confident I could get back into in the Summer but I think it's maybe time to consider getting rid of the rest!

Today I plan to:
- NSD
- Update yesterday's spend spreadsheet
- Think about what to get SIL for her birthday
- Matched betting
- Put 3 things on Ebay
- Washing on and put on clothes horse
- Fridge/freezer check then meal plan for the next few days
- Consider cancelling gym membership
- Take money out my purse into savings tin as I like to start my new week on a Friday
- Check this week's every day spends account and move whatever's in there (£2 I think:T) to savings account

Hope everyone has a lovely day!

determined_new_ms

Dawn it is the darpman triangle and we oscillate between the victim, the rescuer and the persecutor/critical parent. It's transactional analysis and the only way to step out of the triangle is to remain in the adult to adult mode. Not easy!

Working_Mum

DawnW wrote: »

This has happened SO any times :mad: I read on one of the other threads about something called the 'triangle' where people take specific roles, one of which is a 'rescuer'. That is definitely me, and reading about that has helped me to step back from his problems. In a way I am enabling him by allowing him to turn up here penniless and stay till he drives OH and I up the wall, then asking him to leave, rinse and repeat
Sorry for the moan!

This is called the "drama triangle" and if you google it you will find some very interesting info and some strategies for handling!!

Haven't had much chance to post recently as I have been crazy at work but not complaining - managing to read and follow along with everyone

Happy moneysaving everyone

WM x

determined_new_ms

Opps it's actually the karpman triangle!

foxgloves

Hello again,
Well I don't know what Triangle it is, but with the best will in the world, Dawn, you are enabling your brother. There's no onus on him to take responsibility or change his behaviour because you're always there for food, lodgings & sorting him out. Time to get tough?
Today's list of frugal thibgs:
*Baked a sourdough loaf.
*Made a nice big chilli in the slow cooker from the chunks of leftover roast pork I froze a few weeks ago. 2 portions for freezer.
*Energy provider asked for meter readings, so did those.
*Did next week's meal plans.
*Wrote shopping list.
*Sorted nectar vouchers into my purse ready for tomorrow's grocery shopping.
*Cut a few economical recipes out & filed them.
*Managed to de-gunk iron without being suckered into buying a specialist product......a tiny blob of washing-up liquid on a non-stick pan scourer removed all the yuk very effectively.
*Paid more marmalade money into Loan Pay Down Fund.
*Walked round garden - popped forcing crock over rhubarb for an early crop & was amazed to see the trough of rocket in the greenhouse has regrown again. The lambs' lettuce seeds I sowed in Autumn are growing into nice little plants. I will start taking a few leaves. Parsley looking lush (droopy supermarket pot) in greenhouse border.
*Lovely bath using the fab bottle of Molten Brown loveliness I won in a raffle.
*mr f sorted out his Virgin Media account, which had been hacked.
*Knit. Yeah, probably if I can stay awake. The 2 hrs sleep is starting to kick in.
Love to all,
F x

DawnW

I vaguely remember the Transactional Analysis stuff from uni. My postgrad was nominally in psychology, though it crossed disciplines really, and learning was my specific interest, so it was only ever peripheral.

I know I have to step back from the situation with my brother - it is hard, as he has been homeless and sleeping rough on a number of occasions when I haven't bailed him out, and I suspect he will again, but I simply can't keep on He has been told he must leave by the end of the month, and I have resigned myself to paying the deposit on some kind of accommodation, but that will have to be it! My income is small, and I simply can't afford it :eek:

Anyway folks, thanks for 'listening' as it has really been getting me down. I am getting it sorted though, even if only in my head atm.

Lottebear

Hello Everyone

So far this week I have
- Cooked at home
- Washing on after it goes to cheaper electric
- Bag of fruit shopping from Lidl, save doing a larger a shop
- I am in the process of throwing away and or using up stuff specifically cosmetics, some I have opened years ago, often been given or where free, in some cases and they will never be used and likely to be off. The medicine cupboard will next!
- Meters have been read for accurate billing
- 2 x CC payments made, as council tax is non payment month I have used this to pay chunk off.
- Surveys as they come.

allydowd

Hi February Fabulistas,

That was a complicated day. I'm really tired.


Debt Free-Nillionaire Continuity Plan Year Three:

* Bought two 50p items in the company Bring and Buy Sale. A shower gel (needed a new one) and some Bayliss and Harding cream which will do for DW's birthday box. I waited until they reduced all the prices before I bought. Not very charitable, but it was an impulse buy.

* Got a car insurance renewal quote. If they think I'm paying that much they can forget it!:rotfl:

* Charged phone at work.

* Making good progress on recovering my "sanity".

* DW has dental hygienist tomorrow for a super-deep clean under anasthaetic. Going to cost £25 on the NHS.

* Lost something. Searched and searched until I found it. Didn't just buy another.

* Nuked some slightly stale bread.

Onwards and upwards.

determined_new_ms

Morning jeez Monday is hurtling towards us! My week off has gone so quickly. Hoping I won't be so ill today....

Not much planned though - I could try doing the stuff I didn't get done yesterday

[STRIKE]* check banking & pay last bits of cc[/STRIKE]
[STRIKE]* do some shuffling and record in book [/STRIKE]
[STRIKE]* all meals from stores - check meal plan [/STRIKE]
[STRIKE]* debating whether to nip to L1dl today [/STRIKE]- think I might and will collect a parcel from the sorting office while heading that way...
[STRIKE]* go back to the meal plan and see about any changes that can be made [/STRIKE]
* check onepoll
* [STRIKE]reading[/STRIKE], sewing, [STRIKE]knitting[/STRIKE] - whatever takes my fancy
[STRIKE]* a mum coming round for coffee after school - will get the scones out of the freezer for after school snacks [/STRIKE]
* do ins quote

That will do have a great day guys x