Courgette resets her sights

newgirly

Sounds like you are moving forward with what you wanted to achieve re getting the balance right financially Courgette, great stuff :T

Love the leaves in the bath :rotfl::rotfl:

shangaijimmy

Courgette wrote: »

It occurred to me that I shouldn't really be including the cost of bus/train fares for family days out as I very much doubt people with cars factor in depreciation and petrol etc in their mega cheap entertainment budgets. Just a thought.

Very valid point and one that i hadn't considered.

greent

I factor in fuel if it's a long way away - if it's within 50 miles each way I wouldn't think of taking account of it. Never depreciation though - that's general car costs

slm6002

I normally account for fuel if its not a normal day to day trip - otherwise I would not account for it anywhere else in the budget.

Courgette

Thanks everyone,

It's interesting to hear how other people manage their money and what they include in certain categories.

I'm still mulling things over and haven't really got time to write a long post right now but I'm considering giving myself a budget for the first time ever. I always operate on an 'assume £0' basis and, coupled with the need vs want debate, I think this is where some of my problems are coming from.

Needs for example to me are the purely practical. Food, mortgage, compulsory bills like council tax and water and that's about it. It's true that if my life came tumbling around my ears, those would be my priority financial commitments. Needs is broader though isn't it, and this is where I'm lost I think. To be mentally and physically healthy we need to address needs such as being able to take time out of life and have fun; to waste money on ice-creams even though the joy from them is gone a few minutes after they've been eaten; to be able to listen to great music that makes us feel brilliant etc etc etc. But taking that to the extreme means buying a stereo with great speakers is a need, ice-cream is a need and so on. Not sure where I'm going with this but I just mean that this traditional boundary between wants and needs isn't so clear cut as it's supposed to be.

Anyway, I'm considering drawing up a budget as a way of giving myself permission to spend money. I'm not sure yet but I'm thinking along the lines of £100 a month on the business and £100 on family fun. Perhaps also opening a bank account for holiday savings too and squirrelling a bit away into there each month.

I'm also considering doing my tax return in the next few weeks so it doesn't hang over me as an unknown expense later in the year. I know right away roughly how much it will be but until the figures are in, it's impossible to know for sure. It's never a problem being able to pay it but if I know exactly how much it will be, it will mean I can use my other earnings as I see fit.

I'm also actively working on my gratitude mindset. Again, this wasn't something I was aware was lacking but making a conscious effort to be thankful seems to be making things more fun. DH did look at me like I'd just landed last night though. I was just launching into a general moan about the huge washing mountain when I changed course and burst into song about how grateful I was to have all this washing to do because it meant I had a lovely and busy family and got on with it. Actually it worked!

Still loads more to come on all this. Unsubscribe if you don't want to read about someone reinventing the wheel! :rotfl:

museumworker

I can so identify with a lot of what you posted - I was also brought up in a very frugal house. True story - a family member gambled all the money saved to fix the holes in the roof! I remember hearing the rows about it as a kid and being terrified we would be on the streets. I also have had a strange attitude to money, going from spending it all without care to going mental if OH spends 5p on a carrier bag :rotfl:!

Interested to know which book you're reading, sounds really helpful!

I still am sorting stuff out myself, but what I've found is that some things do bring me joy and happiness, so they are worth spending the money on. Some things do not so I try to minimise my spends on those. However you often don't know which is which until you practice spending in the first place! So this is not necessarily money wasted but instead a learning experience.

I love YNAB as I have to allocate money at the beginning of the month, and it makes me ask what I want to get out of the month. If its to have three days out with the family, have I allocated enough money? If its some time with my partner, have we date night cash put to one side? I also have £150 pocket money a month which I can fritter on nights out, coffee, kindle books, food, blogging courses - and know that as long as I don't go over, that's fine, it's there to allow me to enjoy life! I have quite a bit to one side from unspent pocket money and am planning to spend it on self hosting and a new smartphone/camera for the blog.

My things:
* travel - but having had a few £4-5k holidays (through competition wins) I realise that spending loads on a holiday does not guarantee a marvellous family time. Hence why I've moved to houseswapping, we get to explore for only the cost of flights/car hire if needed.
* days out - although we are now cutting back on expensive days out and instead concentrating on doing low key local things, some mid price things, with the odd theme park or zoo when we travel. We get quite a lot of things free with our work passes so trying to use those as we still get as much joy as we would spending £50 to go somewhere!
* eating out - we realised eating out as a family is miserable, partly due to having 2 neuro-diverse kids! Instead we always take a packed lunch, so have easy to chuck in a bag stuff to hand. We enjoy eating out without kids, so once or twice a year we do a blow out dinner somewhere which we love
* ice creams - they make the kids so happy! In the summer I make sure we have some Lidl mini-magnums in the freezer though so they don't ask for an icecream every time we just pop to the local park!
* house - we've overspent on the home renovations and I even bought some stuff FOR FUN (like a £12 cactus vase!) and do you know what - the house looks amazing and I feel so much better about it. We still painted it ourselves, kept our old sofas (with new covers) and bought cushions from cheap shops like Primarni and IKEA but we also realised that yes, we could keep our old paper lampshade but that £35 lampshade would transform the room.

I'm not sure what this ramble is meant to do but yes, I'll stay subscribed and watch you reinvent the wheel

greent

A guilt free fun budget is a great idea And ice creams don't always last just 5 mins - the memory of that day/ outing will last much longer - and sometimes the ice creams are an important part of the memory (such as dropping one straight away....

x

ETA: and MW speaks some seriously wise words up above

*little.squirrel*

Hi Courgette,

I read your first post the other day and meant to reply and I've just seen your follow up. I used to feel exactly the same, and I still do to an extent. My budget for myself every month is quite low but it used to be zero. I would get really frustrated when DH spent money on things that I didn't think we needed (including things for me). I also felt singlehandedly responsible for our finances and hated having to say 'no' to things that he thought we could afford. At the start of this year though I drafted him in and we set up a great spreadsheet with monthly allocations for family fun, holidays, the kids' clothes and some others. I've felt a huge load off my shoulders as now I have a good idea of what we can afford to do or to buy and I don't feel guilty when I buy ice cream or something small that the kids really enjoy. Even now, DH's personal monthly budget is higher than mine but we set up a new account for him so it can just be transferred in there and he can do what he wants with it so it doesn't annoy me. I. haven't done the same for me though, based on my attitude that I shouldn't spend any money on myself, but DH has been encouraging me to open one too and actually I think I will.

Like MuseumWorker my childhood has really affected my views on money. My parents both earned a decent wage but are terrible with saving and I remember constantly being told we were going to lose our house and to start packing. The thought of that happening to my own family terrifies me.

Anyway, I think having your own budget will hopefully give you more financial freedom. You will know the money is there for you, if you want to use it, but also if you choose not to it will be a personal saving for another month.

biglass

Hi there Courgette-apologies but literally a read and run but just to say is it not imperative to insure your building and contents ??
I have heard of a very recent financial disaster of a friend of friend whose house was being renovated and wasn't insured. Please prioritise this :0

Courgette

Attempted a conversation with DH last night about all of this. He was a bit dismissive to be honest. Probably just tired.

Have done the sums for my tax return. It's extremely sobering. Before expenses, I earned £8400 from tuition last year and of this I paid £6000 into our joint account for my share of the bills. This is the lowest it's ever been except for the first year and I don't quite know how on earth I've allowed this to happen and how I didn't even realise it was so low. I feel like I've really let us all down. It's no wonder I'm so flaming tight is it. My natural instinct right now is to cancel all fun for the rest of time, sit in the dark and eat lentils