Courgette resets her sights

museumworker

Step away from the lentils - it's done! Don't punish yourself for past mistakes. Work out how you can keep a track of finances on a day to day basis so you're not left with any surprises. Can I suggest YNAB again?

Also, definitely do prioritise home and contents insurance as previous poster suggested, it's just in case money but unfortunately some people find themselves needing it.

Courgette

Our finances are a complete mess. It's only extreme frugality that's keeping the show on the road. I actually feel sick. I so much wanted a holiday this year, what was I even thinking?????

slm6002

Hi I agree with the house insurance. There have been a few cases nearby where the house has burnt down and the family was left with nothing and then no way to build things back up again as they had no insurance.

I would hate this to happen to someone else - shop around and get a good deal and peace of mind 'just in case' something happens x

museumworker

Courgette wrote: »

Our finances are a complete mess. It's only extreme frugality that's keeping the show on the road. I actually feel sick. I so much wanted a holiday this year, what was I even thinking?????

Oh gosh, that doesn't sound good - would an SOA help? Deep breaths, you will work this out.

newgirly

Agree with MW, it might think help to do a SOA - whatever the situation there is always a solution

Courgette

Well, here's what that, ahem, panic taught me:

1. I get absolute tunnel vision if I suspect any kind of financial scarcity
2. I over-exagerrate
3. I certainly do not need any enemies because I seem to be able to turn on the horrible negative messages to myself pretty easily.

Right. Now I've actually calmed down:
- Last year I made a very conscious and discussed (with DH) decision to cut down on my tuition outside of schools hours in order to spend more time with the lads. I totally and utterly forgot about this when I saw that number.
- My rental income has increased due to remortgaging the property onto a better deal. Also forgotten
- eBay sales are continuing to climb. Turnover for the last financial year is going to be around £40,000, profit about 35%. Yep, also forgotten

When I said our finances were a mess, it sounded as though the wolf was about to come knocking at the door. It isn't. Far from it actually. We're doing completely fine. We have a nice work-life balance and everything is covered (except the insurance. I'm on it). What I (probably) meant in my moment of blind panic and catastrophising (is this a word?) was that our bank accounts aren't super tidy with this one being for this, and this one being for that. I'd like to sort this. There are also discrepancies in how much each of us contribute towards bills in the joint account which again needs to be looked at.

What I also learnt this week is that when I'm stressed I see the very worst of everything. My children with clothes full of holes? Actually, they're fine. No, they don't look like they've walked straight out of a Boden catalogue but they certainly don't look like urchins. Yes, some clothes are patched and some have seen better days but actually I have two very busy little lads who are not afraid to roll in the mud from time to time and I absolutely wouldn't have it any other way.

I also completely overlooked that I start my new tuition job this week. This is an extra £400 pm daytime, term time only. Perfect actually.

So next time I run in here like the world is gonna end, perhaps someone could suggest I just put the kettle on instead? :rotfl:

Seriously though, a shed-ton of mindset work to do. I don't want to gloss over anything because Thursday was awful and I really did feel that things were falling down around me and I was about to lose everything. The tension headache was awful. I was snappy with the children. I had a student that evening and I was so so anxious beforehand. He was a 13 year old boy FGS.

In other news, my phone has mysteriously started working again so I'm gonna hold out for now. When I upgrade it'll be a MotoG5. Currently have a G3 and the only thing wrong with it is the memory size. I'll keep my £9 contract.

I still plan on giving myself a set allowance for treats and also for tuition business development but the eagle-eyed among you will have noticed that I keep talking about this and haven't actually done it. Baby steps, okay?

Had such a lovely Easter break with the boys. Not entirely convinced I want them to go back to school tomorrow, waaaaahhh!

Jobs this half term:
1. New website up and running
2. ebook finished and published
3. settle in and become great at new daytime job. Also find a way to use the bus journey productively
4. train for C25K

wishingthemortgaheaway

I'm cheering you on from the sidelines, sounds like you have a plan, I wonder if someone could recommend a good podcast ormondfulness excercise to help you panic less about finances and to help you verbalise and plan what you want. I haven't got a clue, but I bet someone else does.

Hope School is ok tomorrow.
Wish.

Courgette

Thanks Wish By the way, I've been racking my brains for ages about your previous identity.... I remember 'today is not a NSD' so well!

Just had a bit of a bank account money shuffle because my wages from China are in.

As things stand I have 3 months personal living expenses saved, these are my contribution to our joint account, my S&S ISA funds (as in the money lined up for DDs) and mortgage payments for the rental. All looking a little depleted which is understandable due to everything I've spent on the kitchen. I'd like these back up to 5 months by the end of the summer (nice and gentle, see).

I'm also going to give myself £100 to spend from this point onwards until the end of the half term. I know months are more traditional but I think this will work for me as some of my invoicing is done on a halt-termly basis.

Speaking of which, I have around £450 in outstanding invoices to chase. One was unpaid from November that I only noticed on Thursday. You can imagine the telling off I gave myself for not spotting it at the time. I would not allow anyone else to speak to me like that, so why do I do it to myself??

I don't have anywhere special to put my £100 spending money so I'll keep a note of it on here.

Oh, museumworker, the book I've been reading is You Are a Bad'Bottom' at Making Money. It got quite repetitive and waffly towards the end but I like the way there are a lot of exercises directly related to changing money mindset in it. Also, re YNAB. I hear you and I can see why people use it. I'm concerned I'd use it to tie myself up in even more knots than I already do which is why I'm reluctant. Thanks for the suggestion though.

Jobs this half term:
1. New website up and running
2. ebook finished and published
3. settle in and become great at new daytime job. Also find a way to use the bus journey productively. lessons for first week planned. Will download an audio book onto my kindle to listen to on bus
4. train for C25K

wishingthemortgaheaway

Hi Courgette, yes, that was my previous diary, I couldn't sort the log in details out for that one so I started again last summer. Quite near the beginning of this diary I did an update of my life now compared to then. I'm really pleased with the progress I've made since then, student loan paid off etc. Just need to kick this mortgage into touch now.

I am just about to be paid for some work I did in September, so you may absolutely forgive yourself for not following up work from November.

beanielou

Glad that you are giving yourself spending money.