Self help thread. I am a widow coping getting on with it

lessonlearned

Had a phone call from timber guy........another 20 minutes to tell me nothing I didn't already know. In the end I asked for some figures......

These people just drone on and on covering their backs. And they get paid good money for dithering about........you ask for advice and their professional opinion and they sit on the fence.

All I can do now is look at the figures then I will make up my mind for once and for all. My current thinking is.......unless we are talking tens of thousands then I'm going to bite the bullet.

It's not my dream house but it's the best I've found for my budget. I can make a silk purse from a sows ear......

I just want to get the matter settled. I'm getting impatient now. :rotfl:

[Deleted User]

I agree with you LL. You just need someone to whisper in your ear `its fine, you might have to spend a bit of money later but it will keep and is a nice home`

I just think back to what I lived in all through my childhood, when I say that it was an end terraced in liverpool and was demolished, along with all the other similar houses late in the 60s, Our playgrounds were bomb sites and we all lived happily in those houses with leaking roofs, single glazing and damp cellars. We expect perfection these days and nothing is perfect but most of it will do just fine and as long as we are warm and have a safe comfy bed, well the rest can be dealt with over time

If the location suits you, then yes you can face the challenge of making it your dream home and how satisfying an aim that will be

lessonlearned

Ah thanks Kittie....you are right. That is just what I needed...a bit of reassurance that I'm not bonkers.

My husband would have done just that - he would have joked and made me laugh. He would have given me a hug and said "dinnae fash Yersel woman, now go get me tea". Lol.

And you are so right about modern expectations. I was brought up in a council house, no heating, no double glazing, no insulation, ice on the windows, Lino on the floors, damp streaming down the walls .......I survived.:D. And yes played on bombsites too.

Anyway I've just had the timber guys report......load of fuss Over nothing. The damp is not urgent.......I can deal with that myself. I am certainly not paying through the nose for a specialist company.

The woodworm is a bit of an unknown quantity so I will let them treat the initial obvious infestation immediately to try and stop the mama beetles from laying further eggs. Then as I decorate each room I can get the floors checked and treat as required. The upstairs is definitely clear, roof timbers are fine so it seems that whether it's one room or several rooms it is only the downstairs anyway.

What a hoo ha. Talk about storm in a teacup. :rotfl:

Just need to await the roofers report now but as the timber guy says the trusses etc are fine then I'm not unduly concerned.

Then hopefully we can get this wrapped up. I really want to be in by September so I can bed down and get cosy for winter.

[Deleted User]

lol, LL that chat was just what I needed, to whisper in my own ear too and I am ready for off. The vendors EA rang me and asked if everything was ok and said that the legal stuff was going ok. Survey on thursday and I hope a call from him and am hoping to exchange soon after and in by september. Thats you and me going on the adventure of a lifetime. Not scarey any more, exciting and with aims and aspirations and worth this

Elona_2

Kittie

DH and I had put our house up for sale ready to downsize a few months before he died. He had made DDs and SIL promise to get me settled somewhere smaller and easier to manage and I ended up moving about nine months after he died.

I burst into tears the first night as I went to bed as so much needed to be done to make the place feel like mine
or even to drag it out of the eighties decot wise but it has been worth it.

Hugs to all

[Deleted User]

money for searches has gone off and the EA was here, photos done, epc done and basically I am ready to sell, however will do no such thing until I have a completion date, exchange is likely quite soon.

Out today, going to see a matinee show with dd and family. Then tomorrow, I do really have to get some order into my garage, which I stuffed full for house photos. The hot weather is very hindering because it faces south. I want to be able to get a price to shift the garage full plus a bit more, probably a 3.5 tonne luton. I know I will pay extra for fragmented moves but so be it, worth the money to try and keep stress down
Thanks Elona, your house posts make interesting reading

lessonlearned

Another tsunami.....I really do feel awful. Chest pains, stomach churning, light headed, dizzy.

I know it's a combination of stress re my impending house move and partly the fast approaching 4th anniversary of my husband's death. I know it will pass but oh how awful when it strikes.

No one who hasn't been through this really gets it do they.

Oh well.....another day. I'll drag myself through it somehow.

jaybee

Sorry you are struggling so much LL.

It will be a year next month since H died so I am going through all the 'this time last year' things. I actually was beginning to think that I was 'coping' a lot better until last week when I totally fell apart. Bracing myself for more of the same over the next few weeks.

lessonlearned

Sending you Hugs, Jaybee.

I managed to go back to sleep.. feel a bit better but very drained and sort of "hungover". Mind the heat doesn't help. I am just going to drag myself out for a turn round the park before it gets too hot.


Don't think I'll be able to achieve much today.

[Deleted User]

I cannot begin to say how shattered I am, luckily it was cloudy today so it is not solar-killing but is very hot. I have finished for the day now, achieved 4+ hours and the allotment nets etc are almost cleared. Life would have been so much easier without the allotment/garden/workshop/tools etc but hohum, all this will make my life aspirational going forwards. My back is killing me and having to scratch a meal as well is not nice, would love someone to come and bring me a meal and a mug of tea


The garage is packed full and a remover is coming to give me a price tomorrow. I am going to be very very firm about moving in stages, garage first, to leave it empty and then I will put some items, like utility room stuff in there. I will have a summer house, I don`t know the actual condition but am aiming to put a costco jigsaw foam floor down and paint the inside with white cuprinol. Only then will I get my garden shelving put in and all my allotment and garden stuff. It is all sorted, in my head, down to a t, I just need to remain firm and watchful with the removers, after all I will be paying them


Pity help anyone leaving all this until last minute, our de-cluttering started 5 years ago and I can honestly say that I have not had to throw anything out during this last stage. My neighbours are brilliant, the couple next door are keeping a constant watchful eye on me, the ex-gp came out and said` I order you to stop`. If it was just house to house then it would actually be relatively easy but my allotment keeps me sane and grounded and is 100% important