Self help thread. I am a widow coping getting on with it

humptydumptybits

Kittie you could probably sell the stairlift, we did when mum died.


Thinking about it you might get enough for the stairlift to pay someone to clear the house. Would it be less stressful to just say yes, yes, yes and get rid when she is gone?

lessonlearned

Kittie.....she sounds like a nightmare. Personally I would not cave in on this. It will only send out signals that you are a pushover and her demands will only increase and become more unreasonable. Give her an inch and she will take a mile.

My son did this when he bought this house.The vendor took him for a ride. He made excuses for her, said she was an old and helpless widow. She was younger and fitter than me. Lol The cellar and attic were full of junk. Stinky, mouldy foul smelling junk. We had to wear hazmat suits, masks, gloves and boots to deal with it. Even then we were gagging at times. The stench was unbelievable.

After a 30 year career In property I've seen just about everything. I have met her kind before. Without being rude she sounds slightly unbalanced, and she won't be reasonable. Give her a wide berth. Let the solicitors slug it out.

Don't let her play the widows card......you are a widow too remember. You have got quite enough on your plate dealing with your end of things. You can't be holding her hand as well. She needs to get a grip and stop being so selfish.

Ps Can you block her emails. Don't let her harass you.

[Deleted User]

you are a brilliant and knowledgeable support and thank you


Her EA rang me, obviously could see the £signs vanishing and he was adamant that they would support her, that they had a good team who would pack for her and get the stuff into storage. Things would never have got to this stage if he had done his job properly in the initial stages. I have seen no more e mails from her and if I do, will delete immediately


Her EA said that it was a legal requirement to leave the whole property empty, you said it first LL but hearing it from him was also good as I would hold him accountable too. I will ask before exchange that on completion, the EA meets me at the property with the keys and I will take a straight faced non-cuddly neighbour with me as witness and we will all examine the property together and go from there


Headache has subsided and the photographer will be booked for here in mid july, I will not panic, I just need to stuff a few things away in cupboards, change beds for frilly decor and get some flowers


I could have walked away from this earlier but there is nothing as good or more suitable. It is still a bit up in the air until the surveyor has been though


And I don`t feel settled enough to do my tax return, anyway it is far too hot

Elona_2

kittie

I know you are getting stressed by the hassle and head in clouds attitude by vendor but at least it does not sound as if she will take nearly all the light fittings away including a huge chandelier and leave you with tiny bare bulbs. The vendor in our previous house did this and I had to hastily go to BHS in the sale and replace a big chandelier as well as lights for the living room, study, dining room and bathroom. I hated the Gothic chandelier in the hall but to find tiny bare bulbs in most rooms was such a kick in the teeth. They took all the wooden Venetian blinds as well which cost us a lot to replace.

As long as the survey is good it should be worth it in the end.

Hugs

lessonlearned

Oddly enough I have received my draft contract today. Yes, it's all there about clearing the property. Section 14. Non compliance would mean she is in breach of contract, and you could sue her. Hopefully the EA or her solicitor will make her understand.

There are a couple of issues in my contract that need clarification. This would entail a couple of enhanced searches.....more money. I shall however wait until the survey comes through before I instruct further searches.

Went for my acupuncture assessment. He seems to think he can help me, both with my knee and the fibro. He has strongly recommended much less IPad use to give my neck and shoulders a chance to recover. I will do as I'm told. :rotfl:

I know what you mean about things being up in the air. If I'm not happy with the survey or the enhanced searches then I will walk away. If it means going in to rented for a while. I don't enjoy the uncertainty either. I really wish I could discuss matters like this with my husband.

Kittie..... there is a lot at stake, our futures depend on us getting this move right, and we are on our own in this. We have to guide ourselves.

Take your time. Make lists, be systematic.

Yes, by all means we can buy with our hearts, but we mustn't lose our heads, we need to dot those "i's" and cross those "t's" and not allow ourselves to get carried away by a pretty house. We have to read the legal documents very closely and make sure we know exactly what we are signing up for.

Luckily I understand legalise and I have an eye for detail and the kind of brain that isn't fazed by minutiae. It's tiring though.

lessonlearned

Elona.....some people do really take the biscuit don't they. That was just plain mean.

If I remove light fittings then I tell them beforehand. I then buy cheap white paper shades so at least they have something other than bare lightbulbs.

My buyers wanted me to leave some freestanding Ikea wardrobes. I asked them for a donation, just a token gesture. The girl was happy to offer me something for them but her boyfriend refused point blank. He wants them for nothing, They are only 2 years old and cost a lot of money because they are fully kitted out with interior fitments. I'm not leaving them but I have told them so and they are not in the fixtures and fittings list in the contract.

I am a generous person and I have included a lot of extras and also given them a £1k reduction in the price to cover a couple of repairs that the survey flagged up, but I'm not giving them £2ks worth of wardrobes for free as well. :rotfl:

Elona_2

LL

The business with the wardrobes would have raised my hackles too. It is taking the mick. Stupid boyfriend does not realise that this attitude makes you less likely and willing to do them any more favours. I hope if they realise just what these wardrobes cost and come back to you offering to pay that you tell them firmly that you have decided to take them yourself.

I have just been standing in the heat for over half an hour waiting for the bus to York to see a dd. After over half an hour I was so hot I thought I was about to faint so went home, had some cold drinks and then phoned dd to explain and reassure her I will be there to see her either tomorrow or Sunday instead. Decided that I have to be sensible and it does no one any good if I make myself ill.

A cousin and his partner have just collected their baby girl who they have been in the process of adopting so we are all excited for them. I found a lovely J. Conran pink baby dress and white embroidered sun hat in the Debenham's sale which should be delivered today and bought pretty wrapping paper and a card while I was out so can post things tomorrow.

Hugs to all

[Deleted User]

I would not leave the wardrobes either, the cheek of it


I am loving reading your stories, certainly it makes me feel part of a very helpful and kind community


I just had a chinwag with my neighbours, they flagged up that I should tell the solicitor about the huge debt that the vendor has on the property. They are tentatively looking now and think they know a few people in the village who might want my house for them selves or for parents but after what has been happening, any potential viewings or deals would have to go through my own EA

greenbee

Kittie - I had my concerns about my vendors' ability to clear the house when I moved here from things they were saying. I'd had problems in my last house not only with junk being left behind but the vendors not actually having moved out. My solicitor at the time of the previous purchase advised me to be tough about it in the future - so this time I was clear that if there was stuff left behind, it would not be vacant possession and I'd contact the solicitor and building society to reverse the payment as they would have failed to meet the terms for completion.

They managed it, but according to the neighbours it was touch and go...

[Deleted User]

oh good idea greenbee, I will send a letter to EA just before completion and ask him to make sure that his client understands the consequences