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Self help thread. I am a widow coping getting on with it

edited 30 November -1 at 1:00AM in Over 50s Money Saving
1.1K replies 195K views


  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Forumite
    0 posts
    MoneySaving Newbie
    I have accidentally found a property that has set my heart racing and is within comfort budget. I will go and explore the immediate area on my way back from my viewing today

    A house, smaller than today, 4 beds one bathroom, double attached garage with access from inside house, solar panels. A short walk to an A road with bus stops, 3 miles to town. Looks very well maintained and easy to look after. Good safe access to all the cycling areas that I want

    Compromises yes but more details if and when
  • edited 27 April 2018 at 7:19PM
    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Forumite
    0 posts
    MoneySaving Newbie
    edited 27 April 2018 at 7:19PM
    I am back, omg what a difference the time makes
    I just had a viewing on the bigger property and went to examine the smaller one, the road is a death trap but worse than that the 2nd house is just around the corner from what looks like a massive stinky industrial estate. The house next door is up for sale too. The road is terrible. The first house was so in need of tlc, garden was carp, no ventilation and I stunk of air freshener from the house, horrible. So now that is all that area off my list. I am honestly going to sit tight, I cannot better the area close by

    I just need to cancel sunday`s viewing and have a relaxing weekend and this time will wait for the right property to fall into my lap and if I have to drain the sipp, to get the right money, then so be it. I will buy an annuity with part of what I get for this house and keep the savings for holidays and my future
  • lessonlearnedlessonlearned Forumite
    13.3K posts
    I've been Money Tipped!
    Oh dear. My viewing wasn't much better. Complete waste of time.

    Just going to forget house hunting and have a nice weekend. Weather forecast not that great so won't be able to do any gardening. Might take a bus into the city tomorrow, have a nice lunch and potter. Might visit a museum.
  • poppy811poppy811 Forumite
    182 posts
    Tenth Anniversary 100 Posts Combo Breaker
    Thank you LL for your comments. It has helped to crystallise my thoughts. I had the house valued a couple of months ago but have now contacted the agent to start marketing. Second viewing of the bungalow I mentioned with a local builder today to get some idea of potential costs. Although I love my current village it is now time to move to somewhere with shops, public transport etc. I do hope you and Kittie find what you want, as you say we'll get there!
  • lessonlearnedlessonlearned Forumite
    13.3K posts
    I've been Money Tipped!
    Poppy. Exciting and maybe a tad scary. Good luck.

    As expected a miserable day here. I might not even bother to go out. I've got plenty of food in and a to do list as long as my arm. I might just save the day out for when the weather is better and make myself useful.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Forumite
    0 posts
    MoneySaving Newbie
    keep posting about your venture poppy, I do enjoy having a glimpse of your life and how you are progressing.

    I am noticing steps forward and fewer steps back, so I think we are all progressing. Re U3A, I made contact in my craft group with an active member of my local group, it sounds awesome and they have over 500 members. I really want to join but am holding back a little bit, until I am home-settled

    I haven`t been very sure about cost buying limits for my new home but I decided, overnight, to get some details from an inflation calculator, first one was after we did the first `downsize` in 2006 and the second one was after the second move in 2010. The second one also gives me a good idea re selling price now, although I know I will have to discount the improvements. The better way of thinking about financial loss is in lieu of rent, which is covered by the cost of improvements, so I will not be losing much, if any. That has helped to settle my brain and I know that I can look at slightly more expensive houses than I thought

    We sold our family home in 2006 and I put the excess cash into savings then, the next home was cheaper, so my savings are simply being re-cycled now as we didn`t spend too much on fripperies
  • irisiris Forumite
    1.1K posts
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Kittie, I don't know whether you are aware, but you can go along to any U3A monthly meetings and find out what groups they offer, without actually joining. U3A have a web site - just google. You could perhaps try several in your preferred areas and maybe give a few of the groups a try. HTH

    I have made so many lovely friends from joining U3A. We meet up and go on coach trips/theatre outside of U3A also.

    I have made one particular friend through U3A who is also a widow and we go on holiday together. We are now firm friends and help each other.
  • edited 29 April 2018 at 3:53PM
    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Forumite
    0 posts
    MoneySaving Newbie
    edited 29 April 2018 at 3:53PM
    Yes thanks Iris :), I will be going along to the next coffee morning.

    I was just speaking to a DD2 and she was saying about the lovely county that they just came back from visiting, not too far away from her but 2 counties away for me. She said I should look and I said yes I would but in all honesty, it is just too daunting, having to start again so completely, not knowing any areas etc and then having to give up my crafting group and starting again with another. Tbh my heart sank at the thought. It is so very different for a couple, when it becomes an adventure. At my stage it is an obstacle course, not an exciting adventure

    Just when I had decided that U3A locally would also be a lifeline. She is a very well meaning DD but time after time in the posts on this thread, I think we know what we want and must follow our own intuition, regardless of what children think we should do. Thank heavens for the supportive brigade on here, on this thread

    I am remaining local, keeping my lifeline allotment, going to U3A, going to my local groups such as keep fit and womens groups (haven`t joined yet). It takes time to make new aquaintances into friends and I really don`t want to be starting again, from scratch
  • lessonlearnedlessonlearned Forumite
    13.3K posts
    I've been Money Tipped!
    Kittie ....I think that is a very wise decision. Your daughter means well of course, but they don't really understand the importance of roots and long term friends. Even just knowing your patch is a huge help. At leat you then know your way around and where to find the networks to make new friends. As you say if we were part of a couple then relocating would be a nice exciting adventure. But, as new singletons, then I think there is comfort in familiarity.

    Had someone come for a second viewing yesterday so looking positive. I then spent most of the day trawling through RM.

    I have narrowed my search down to 3 possibles. An apartment, a townhouse, both in the city and within minutes of each other, and a bungalow in the surburbs. . All completely different kinds of property and each offers a different way of life. I will view all 3 and I think I will then be closer to a decision., although I'm pretty certain I will be going for the city option, so either the townhouse or the fiat.

    All pretty much in the same price range, although from an investment point of view the townhouse has the best potential for further growth.
    It's big enough to set up my complimentary therapy practice and is in the perfect location to attract clients. I could then downsize later, say when I'm in my mid 70s.

    I've done my accounts and reviewed my finances so I know exactly what my budget is. I have decided I will take out a small mortgage so as not to spend all my capital. I will ring my broker tomorrow and see what he can do for me. It is probably going to mean fewer fancy holidays but I really don't mind. I think it's more important to get this right. I have a trip to Iceland booked and part paid for but I don't think I'll commit to anything else for the time being.

    A house move, my first grandchild and my college course are enough to keep me amused for now. I shall definitely be looking at U3A and some of the local meet up groups once I have moved.
  • Elona_2Elona_2 Forumite
    353 posts
    Third Anniversary 100 Posts Name Dropper

    I hope you find somewhere that is just right for you. It does sound as if a location in town is more "you".

    DDs, sil and a bf drove me to the small town near the sea that DH grew up in and we met his male cousins and told them about the first grandchild being due etc. I had a lovely day and spent today browsing for baby stuff online. Have ordered some packs of nappies, a few baby clothes for 12 months and 18 months old at a third of the price in a sale and checked prices for the travel system they decided on. so we could get the best offer around.
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