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Self help thread. I am a widow coping getting on with it

edited 30 November -1 at 1:00AM in Over 50s Money Saving
1.1K replies 195.4K views
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  • lessonlearnedlessonlearned Forumite
    13.3K Posts
    I've been Money Tipped!
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    Iris....your bungalow sounds perfect. I still haven't ruled them out, after all it's my decision, not my consultants or physios.

    My choice will depend on getting the right location and of course within my budget......it's aways down to money isnt it.:rotfl:

    Still plenty of interest in my house. Keeping my fingers crossed.

    College course going well. Felt very tired and didn't fancy going last night and had to really force myself to go. Glad I did, I enjoyed it when I got there. I really must make more effort to get out more.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Forumite
    0 Posts
    MoneySaving Newbie
    Thats the spirit LL, chin up, bosoms out and straight ahead, blow the tired mind

    I spent all yesterday evening mulling over houses and have finally (80%) decided on a brand new one, even decided on the development. The plot I want has not even been released yet so I have no idea how long and it may be too long. It is not a small house but I see potential for future proofing ie a utility/cloakroom combination if needed to make a shower room and that all important spare (small) room that could be a bedroom if needed. Tbh large in this house for the price = very small further away. I am going to ring the sales office today. 30 minutes to get there and will spend half a day in the area. Walking to shops etc, busier than here but I would have safe cycling access and a garage for my workshop. Only these last few plots have s facing gardens
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Forumite
    0 Posts
    MoneySaving Newbie
    I am back from a drive around, having been to that new location. The area was gorgeous, touristy and I can only imagine what it would be like in summer. I called in, on spec, to the new development and there was a salesperson in, couldn`t believe my luck as telephones were all playing up in that area. I looked around a show home and talk about bling, so very hard to see past it all, to the nuts and bolts. Much more expensive than a second hand home and she was at pains to say that all the s/sw properties were sought after hence would be more expensive again and not ready for 18 months

    I then went around the area where I will be viewing a second hand home tomorrow, it does look too big and as though it needs tlc and I hate it when the EA says that they have had offers but not high enough. I will still go and have another reckie, there are many lovely cared-for properties in that area

    So I took the back route home and straight away was gobsmacked by the lovely peace and quiet and lack of cars and guess what, this was the area near my first location, so deep down I am back to square 1 and I am not going to kill myself financially. I am so glad that I haven`t any need to travel far to my viewings
  • lessonlearnedlessonlearned Forumite
    13.3K Posts
    I've been Money Tipped!
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    I've finally got round to booking a viewing for a property tomorrow. A barn conversion. It's supposed to be a luxury conversion and although it Looks lovely already my critical eye is saying you've skimped and cut corners to maximise your profits.

    It makes me so cross when developers do that.

    For example for £500 they could have put underfloor heating in the bathroom. But they didn't. To do it retrospectively would mean ripping up a brand new expensive tiled floor. Crazy.

    It's a grade II listed building and they've put in cheap radiators. And crime of crimes......there's no fireplace. I need to look at the outside walls and see if I could somehow duct a log burner. Like you say they try and dazzle you with bling but then mess up the fundamentals.

    That's why I prefer wrecks, I'm not paying a premium for someone's shoddy work.

    Had to smile .......my "admirer" from my last but one cruise rang me today. He's persistent I'll say that. He's a nice man but he doesn't float my boat as it were. :rotfl:

    Have a viewer coming tonight, EA rang me with feedback from the other viewings, lots of positive comments, no offers yet.

    I must be patient.

    Had a bit of shock this morning when I measured my blood sugars. Must do better and get them down ASAP. To that end I'm off for a walk.....must increase my step count. Horrid cold wind here though.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Forumite
    0 Posts
    MoneySaving Newbie
    good luck tonight LL.

    I know what you mean about cutting corners. The over 55s homes had lovely underfloor heating, the mass builds that I saw today had normal combi boiler and radiators and items such as better worktops, they were all extras

    I expect your brain is whizzy by now, mine certainly is as it is peak viewing time. I haven`t eaten that well today, bitty things, I have to get back to normal food tomorrow, need to get earthed again
  • lessonlearnedlessonlearned Forumite
    13.3K Posts
    I've been Money Tipped!
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    Well I have dug out my blood sugar diet by Michael Mosley.

    I am not sure I can go as low as 800 cals every day. But he says you if you can't manage that then he recommends the 5:2 plan. So that's what I'm going to do. On the 5 days of normal calorie intake I shall ensure no starchy carbs or sugar. Try to Stick to around 1400 cals

    I'm also going to try the 16/8 fasting. Where you try and keep your eating within an 8 hour window. I won't manage that today, it will be more like 15/9 but that's ok to begin with.

    I am now around 2 stones overweight, having lost a stone over the last year or so but to reverse the diabetes I have to lose weight a lot more quickly.

    We all know about healthy eating and exercise but It's so easy to take our eye off the ball isn't it. All the stress we have had to deal with hasn't helped either. It's a long journey back to wellness but it's got to be worth it.
  • poppy811poppy811 Forumite
    195 Posts
    Tenth Anniversary 100 Posts Combo Breaker
    How is everyone? Sorry I've not been posting but have been enjoying extended birthday treats with friends and family. Sad at times because I miss my husband so badly on these special days but am so grateful for everybody's kindness. Like several of you I am still thinking of a house move but very limited options. There is one bungalow that I am considering but it does needs a lot of work. Some days I think a project would be good but on others my confidence wavers. The big plus would be money in the bank so I could do some more travelling.
  • edited 27 April 2018 at 9:58AM
    lessonlearnedlessonlearned Forumite
    13.3K Posts
    I've been Money Tipped!
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    edited 27 April 2018 at 9:58AM
    Hello Poppy - good to see you. Belated Happy Birthday. Glad you had a good time, but you are right, even the happy occasions have a certain bitter sweetness now.

    Re your ideas of a "project". I can't advise you but I would say for me having a project - ie renovating my current house really helped me through my grief. Yes it was hard at times and I did make a couple of silly decisions - widows brain and being under pressure to get the house at least habitable - It did me a lot of good to keep busy and focused on something else other than my own misery. I am ready for another one.

    The only proviso I have this time is that if the house is really bad I will rent something cheap and cheerful whilst he work is being done. I am too old now to live on building site. I need somewhere warm and clean. And, tbh it's quicker, cheaper and easier to get the building work done all in one fell swoop then messing about doing it piecemeal. The money saved doing the work quickly and efficiently more than pays for the outlay in rent.

    And if you can release capital for travel, a few treats and additional future security and comfort then even better.

    It's a long haul but we get there in the end......

    Cold wet and miserable here. I am viewing a house later and I intended making it a nice day out, with lunch and a bit of light shopping. I think I'll just make it a short visit and just potter about instead. Stay nice and cosy.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Forumite
    0 Posts
    MoneySaving Newbie
    I have definitely decided not to view the `local` house, I really do want a separate living room, I have a snug here and can be as private as I want, close the door and no-one sees me in my nest and that house was top of my budget, anyway I really don`t want every bedroom to have sloping ceilings. Poppy on the way past this house yesterday, I did see a whole army of people obviously upgrading a bungalow. I could not live in it while that was being done but having a design/build group sort it all for me, well yes, maybe.

    I just have not got the same strengths as LL, maybe because hubbie was a structural engineer. I do have a very good friend of his, also a structural engineer, who will come out at the drop of a hat but I will not place any burden on anyone so will get that all important written report via an independent company. Personally I could do that, provided finances allow, because I can live here.

    It has gone past being an adventure. The most rewarding aspect of the past year has been the general `clearing` of stuff in the house, much more rewarding than house hunting but in turn that left me ready to move and now I am in limbo, so I try to be a bit numb about it all, fretting does me no good and my philosophy is always, whatever will be will be
  • lessonlearnedlessonlearned Forumite
    13.3K Posts
    I've been Money Tipped!
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    Kittie.....you have done so well. You have had a massive declutter and got yourself reorganised. Just take your time now, and try not to panic or overthink things. I am a great believer in Ke sera.....everything will slot into place, all in its own good time.

    I am not going to fret and fuss either. If it sells quickly then Great, if not then I can wait. I am clean, warm and comfortable here. As my husband used to say "nothing is spoiling".

    If it takes time to sell, well another year or so here is no biggie. The summer is coming, I can enjoy my garden and get out and about. I can keep busy and use the time to try and lose some weight and improve my fitness. I shall join the National Trust and have a few nice days out.

    Re renovation work etc. Ask i get older I cant do the hard physical graft and now that the boys have their own relationships and commitments I can't really expect them to drop everything to help me every 5 minutes.

    I shall have to pay for help but that's ok. I'll get the professionals in for the major works and then maybe look for an occasional handy person to help me with some of the work I used to do but can't really manage any more.

    I would really love to help some youngster who can't find work or training and give them a bit of a leg up. There must be hundreds of young strapping lads who would like to earn some money whilst learning a few simple diy skills. I can't offer an apprenticeship but I could probably guarantee at least six months work to the right person.
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