Self help thread. I am a widow coping getting on with it

Torry_Quine

We didn't have a joint account, what savings we have are almost entirely in my name as I'm a non-taxpayer. My only income is my PIP so finances will be tough.

wort

Dear Kittie, I'm thinking of you ,I hope tomorrow is not too sad, that your memories are joyful . Much hugs Xxx

itsanne

I hope today goes okay, Kittie.

itsanne

Torry, it might be worth getting someone to look at finances with you now that your circumstances are 'different'. You don't want to worry about finances on top of grieving for your husband. I've found that while my income has decreased significantly my expenditure has increased in a way I hadn't anticipated. Most bills remain the same - it costs just as much for heating etc for one as for two - while the need to go out more can be expensive.

poppy811

I would agree with you itsanne.
I too am living on a very reduced income and am nervous about spending my savings as they would be very difficult to replace. Torry maybe a chat with the CAB re any additional benefits when you are feeling stronger.

Torry_Quine

Thanks for the advice ladies.

[Deleted User]

yesterday came and went and I am glad I went to my hobby group, no-one knew the date significance so conversation was normal. I went to my shed after I came back and was surprised and delighted to find a fat fluffy white feather sitting in a cobweb by the latch.

I agree with the above posts about income and outgoings. Income does reduce by quite a bit and outgoings are pretty much the same, just a little bit less for council tax. The os savings thread is very helpful it made me put a brake on my spending and I have added up my yearly one-off bills with the aim of getting that amount divided by 12 into a linked savings account every month. I still need to buy things but am not spending `recklessly` as I did in years one and two, when money and savings meant nothing. I gave good amounts of money to our three adult children in year two but that is the last of that. I did also buy lifetime passes for NT and the local steam train, ok I was in that spending mood and they are charities but now I have cheap days out

I also joined the cooking for one thread, it kind of makes me focus on meal planning for the day. I wrote daily lists for two years, food and jobs and it helped me a lot. I always went to bed with a plan for the next day

Torry_Quine

It seems like every day there's another official letter to deal with which isn't easy. Bought some frames and now have lovely photos on display. It's a bit bigger sweet just now.

Went to the nearby supermarket today and spoke with an assistant who always got on well with my husband so that was hard. Sunday afternoon I went to church which resulted in lots of crying in the toilet.

missile

Torry_Quine wrote: »

It seems like every day there's another official letter to deal with which isn't easy. Bought some frames and now have lovely photos on display. It's a bit bigger sweet just now.

Went to the nearby supermarket today and spoke with an assistant who always got on well with my husband so that was hard. Sunday afternoon I went to church which resulted in lots of crying in the toilet.

The sun is shinning today in Aberdeen, so hope that can lift your mood a little. :A

Torry_Quine

missile wrote: »

The sun is shinning today in Aberdeen, so hope that can lift your mood a little. :A

It sometimes makes me feel worse seeing the sun! Are you in Aberdeen?