Self help thread. I am a widow coping getting on with it

Elona_2

After a few months I ended up with anti depressants which helped me get some sleep and a couple of sessions of counselling which really helped. Just being able to vent without someone feeling compelled to "advise" you and to just listen was a boon. Initially we are all stumbling about in the dark in pain, confusion and loss so don't judge yourself. Just keeping hydrated and breathing in and out with having something that we eat a couple of times a day even something small like tea and toast with a boiled egg or a mug of soup with a cracker and cheese is a start.

kittie

Not sure it is a sign but a couple of days ago I found a small cream feather in a box of eggs. As DH used to keep chickens it made me smile.

Found out last night that about four family members are popping in today so I have potato and leek soup I made yesterday with a small cottage pie, defrosted some burgers last night and will nip out for rolls and salad this morning.

Hugs to all

poppy811

Dear Torry
There is no pain like it. I lost my Husband very suddenly 18 months ago and I remember the shock and feelings of not being able to carry on. These feelings do become a little easier as time passes. You will always love him and keep in your heart. Just do what you can each day.

wort

I had some family round last night and we had a lovely evening ,but when they left at midnight I sat down and cried ,huge racking sobs ,I couldn't stop ,it was around 2.30 before I dragged myself to bed. I feel dreadful this morning, and can feel the tears so very close to the surface. I look after my 10 year old dgson today, so I need to pull myself together.
I'm not sure that I've had signs , I have feathers in my bedding and downstairs cushions, so when I find feathers I want to think they're from him, but my head says different.
I've seen a very good medium, and I got a lot of comfort from that, she knew everything that happened, without me saying a word, she got his character to a tee, and told me details from the funeral, so because she told me he's been with me, even down to holding my hand in bed, I feel him more. I realise there are so many charlatans in the world , but she told me things no one else knew, and that gave me solace.

It's not the big hug I long for but it gives me hope that I'll see him again.

Elona_2

wort

The good times seem to be so difficult because they are not there to share it or to talk about it and it seems so unfair. We forget that sometimes we need to cry and don't want to tell family in case they worry we are not coping yet we need to go with the flow.

Hugs

wort

Thanks Elona, I am wary about being upset when I'm with my brother, hubby and him were best friends too, and sometimes I feel when he sees me it brings it back. I want to get back to how we were we went out as couples and now I've not just lost my hubby but the fun I had with my brother and sil.
I know it seems a bit silly he's my brother and we love each other, but it's the pain of seeing each other without hubby. I need to go as just writing this is making me cry.x

Torry_Quine

Today is awfully bad. I have cried and howled, no point in getting dressed either.

Elona_2

Torry

Just do whatever you need to do. It is very early days and you are not doing any harm by staying in pjs.

I still have days when I can't face getting dressed and going out and the bad weather does not help.

Hugs

Torry_Quine

I managed to have a shower and put on fresh pyjamas. It feels like an achievement

Brighton_belle

It is a huge achievement Torry. And if that is all you manage today, plus a a bit to eat and drink, then well, done.

Torry_Quine

Brighton_belle wrote: »

It is a huge achievement Torry. And if that is all you manage today, plus a a bit to eat and drink, then well, done.

Thanks. I do have one friend who keeps on at me to get dressed and do something but it's beyond me. I do need to sort my flowers though as some have died.