Some of the things he says...

Smodlet

There is absolutely nothing wrong with living/having lived in a council property. Many very hard-working people who have never claimed a penny in benefits in their lives live in them for no other reason than that they cannot afford to buy anywhere of their own, or certainly to buy anywhere bigger or better.

There is everything wrong with addressing a partner in such terms as you describe are used after the council house bit. I fail to see how anyone could want to live with someone who showed them so little respect, let alone how they could love them.

According to Dr. Phil, we teach people how to treat us. While there are several issues with this as an absolute statement, it does have relevance in situations where we have a measure of control over our own destiny.

Perhaps you need to ask yourself what you really want from a relationship and whether you are prepared to settle for so little. Perhaps it is all you think you deserve. Perhaps you are correct; who knows?

bagpussbear

This is about crossing boundaries. He knows you get upset but continues to do it even when you have asked him not to.

Could be he is a bit of a childish prankster that likes to get a rise out of people, or just rude and domineering.

Either way, sounds like you are not getting much from this relationship.

Tell him in no uncertain terms that if he ever calls you a name again, you'll walk. And then if he does, that's exactly what you need to do.

-taff

You know he's doing it to upset you and show you contempt. You just don't ant to believe it because if you did, you would have to leave him and find somewhere lse to live and be on your own and all of that is a big decision to make.

Either you talk about it and he agrees to stop lording his money over you, or you don't and it get's worse and a year from now you'll be asking the same questions again, and hand wringing saying ,oh he used to be such a lovely bloke but he talks to me like I'm a piece of !!!!, where did I go wrong etc etc....

You haven't been above repraoch either, because youve spent money on prettyfying a house instead of standing by your bargain of paying half the costs.

You are both to blame. Him for treating you with contempt and you for assuming the new house meant you got to play Lawrence Llewellyn Bowen instead of paying him the money you said you would.

unholyangel

I had an ex (key word) who would regularly resort to name calling during arguments or saying things he didn't mean just to try and hurt me.

For me that is a huge no no. The way I look at it is that I might be upset/angry about something they have done, but I still love them. And I don't understand why anyone would want to deliberately hurt someone they love - even if they're not very likeable at that particular moment. Its not like being abusive to them is going to solve whatever the issue is, so whats the point of it?

I know there are couples who are supposedly quite happy to scream & shout abuse at each other during arguments but I would say if its not your style and your partner won't stop despite you asking then that would be a deal breaker.

pearl123

It is abuse!
It's up to you whether you want to put up with it.
In your situation I'd make it clear that the abuse stops now.
Have a hard think about whether you are being manipulated or mistreated in any other ways.

gettingtheresometime

I swear but the c word is the thick red line for me.....whoever calls me it is out of my life

ska_lover

If my husband called me a sl** I would be removing him from my life.

Slinky

Is this some sort of attempt to make you walk away from the relationship leaving him with the house?

Gloomendoom

gettingtheresometime wrote: »

I swear but the c word is the thick red line for me.....whoever calls me it is out of my life

Using the C word takes everything to the next level for me. I have used it very rarely myself in the past, but only in extreme circumstances and never in the presence of a woman. Call me old fashioned but I don’t give a whatsit.

I can't envisage any situation where I would use it in reference to my wife (or significant other).

Diamandis

Are you actually happy with this person? If you're not then you need to do something to change that. That might mean making changes in the relationship but it might mean leaving the relationship. Only you can make that decision.