Help needed with sister

Yellow_petal

I urgently need advice on how to help my sister. Her husband has been abusive ever since they got together and I've never liked him. Anyway, this weekend things came to a head, she turned up on my doorstep Friday night with a suitcase crying her eyes out saying that she was leaving him after they'd had a fight. Obviously I took her in as I would any family member but she has had a drugs problem ever since her husband took a job as a bouncer in a dodgy nightclub and I just don't want that sort of thing around my kids. Already there was a knock my door last night from a youth dressed in a hoody who I can only assume is a drugs dealer. I just don't need this hassle as I have problems of my own but she's my sister even though she wasn't speaking to me for most of last year after I and the rest of the family told her she should leave her violent good for nothing boyfriend. I've asked my mum if she can take her in but she's not talking to my sister either after she accused her of stealing £23 from her purse last christmas. What should I do? What if the boyfriend or any drugs dealers comes to my house again?

spirit

Try womens Aid https://www.womensaid.org.uk/

AylesburyDuck

spirit wrote: »

Try womens Aid https://www.womensaid.org.uk/

This .........plus
Also ask her to make a GP appointment to get on the pathway to getting herself clean. State calmly that her staying with you will only work if she cleans up her act, and drugs, or drug taking behaviour are NOT brought into your home.

Comms69

Yellow_petal wrote: »

I urgently need advice on how to help my sister. Her husband has been abusive ever since they got together and I've never liked him. Anyway, this weekend things came to a head, she turned up on my doorstep Friday night with a suitcase crying her eyes out saying that she was leaving him after they'd had a fight. Obviously I took her in as I would any family member but she has had a drugs problem ever since her husband took a job as a bouncer in a dodgy nightclub and I just don't want that sort of thing around my kids. Already there was a knock my door last night from a youth dressed in a hoody who I can only assume is a drugs dealer. I just don't need this hassle as I have problems of my own but she's my sister even though she wasn't speaking to me for most of last year after I and the rest of the family told her she should leave her violent good for nothing boyfriend. I've asked my mum if she can take her in but she's not talking to my sister either after she accused her of stealing £23 from her purse last christmas. What should I do? What if the boyfriend or any drugs dealers comes to my house again?

The only way they'll come to your house is if she calls them. Take her phone away.

JayJay100

Husband or boyfriend? I hate to say this, but there's a good chance that she will go back to him, as people in this situation often do; be really careful in what you say about him, as she could well hold it against you. Be very clear on the house rules, including no drugs. I agree with all of the above, especially the phone; she will use that to call her dealer, and as she's stressed, she could well be using more than usual (another thought is how will she pay for it), and it's also a way for her husband/boyfriend to contact her, and try and talk her around.

AylesburyDuck

Comms69 wrote: »

The only way they'll come to your house is if she calls them. Take her phone away.

Shes her sister, not her child, not exactly a realistic option.

Yellow_petal

OK so I've just gone to get ready for shopping and there's already money missing from my purse so I confronted my sister and she's erupted in a fit of rage. She's brought lots up from the past including why she had an affair with my husband and why she's always been jealous of me for being my parents favourite. Do you think it's just the drugs talking or could I be to blame for her problems?

AylesburyDuck

Yellow_petal wrote: »

OK so I've just gone to get ready for shopping and there's already money missing from my purse so I confronted my sister and she's erupted in a fit of rage. She's brought lots up from the past including why she had an affair with my husband and why she's always been jealous of me for being my parents favourite. Do you think it's just the drugs talking or could I be to blame for her problems?

Of course your not to blame, and frankly if she had an affair with your husband why have you even let the manky mare in your house.
Get her out of your house with your boot firmly up her jacksy.
OMG.

hazyjo

Yet another block paragraph from a new poster that reads like a story.


Call me cynical...

Yellow_petal

AylesburyDuck wrote: »

Of course your not to blame, and frankly if she had an affair with your husband why have you even let the manky mare in your house.
Get her out of your house with your boot firmly up her jacksy.
OMG.

Well I might be partly to blame as I egged her on at a party last year when someone jokingly suggested that we do the "keys in a bowl" thing and I got paired up with her husband. It wasn't full swinging though, just kissing but it was obviously enough to make her jealous and want to end up seeing my husband behind my back when I was away on business in Birmingham. He says she just wanted to kiss him in revenge for the party and I believed him at first but then I found condoms in the bin when I got back and my husband has had a vasectomy so there's no need for us to have them in the house.

seashore22

hazyjo wrote: »

Yet another block paragraph from a new poster that reads like a story.


Call me cynical...

I thought the same thing, just from the title alone. The block text and writing style sealed it. I'm slightly worried about the op's compulsion to start these threads. In fact the op seems to be throwing all caution to the wind and not even trying to make them believable.

The op doesn't always use block text for every personality on here though.