On-line dating experiences?

mariposa687

PeacefulWaters - appreciate the advice and I wish I could! I have never been one to move on fast even from comments people have said that have hurt me. One of the plus sides of being bullied for ten years as a child.

StaffieTerrier

PeacefulWaters wrote: »

Chat online for a bit. Move it to WhatsApp. Don't chat online for weeks. Arrange to meet. Have a walk or coffee. Decide if there's more to it.

Don't play games. Don't take it personally if others do. Just move on quickly.

Lower your expectations but maintain your standards. Don't be hurt. Discard and move on.

This a thousand times over. I also found that when I set my status as 'looking to date' rather than 'wants a relationship' the people contacting me made more of an effort to get my attention and keep it.

StaffieTerrier

mariposa687 wrote: »

PeacefulWaters - appreciate the advice and I wish I could! I have never been one to move on fast even from comments people have said that have hurt me. One of the plus sides of being bullied for ten years as a child.

If someone doesn't reply, etc, then they're not worthy of your attention. I found it hard to begin with but I realised they were missing out not me

mariposa687

StaffieTerrier wrote: »

If someone doesn't reply, etc, then they're not worthy of your attention. I found it hard to begin with but I realised they were missing out not me

In terms of dates - once you've been out with someone a few times and you like them but they don't want to see you again, have you got any tips on how to move on from that? That's where I struggle. People not replying annoys me (especially when they initiated it) but not so much I'd get upset over it.

WibblyGirly

I met my partner on pof. Both our profiles said we weren't looking for anything serious but here we are 4 years later!
I only talked to 2 or 3 guys at a time. Though when I chatted to my now partner something just felt different about him and my conversation naturally got shorter with the other guy ask just didn't want to talk to him anymore.

I agree on meeting fast too. Less chance of a false idea of a person being built in your mind. Just have fun with it though, you don't have to reply to everyone who messages so you can be choosy in who you meet

dawyldthing

mariposa687 wrote: »

In terms of dates - once you've been out with someone a few times and you like them but they don't want to see you again, have you got any tips on how to move on from that? That's where I struggle. People not replying annoys me (especially when they initiated it) but not so much I'd get upset over it.

See it as chatting to friends for a while then if they don't reply it's like losing a friend. It is tough as some folk do just disappear but there's a lot of different folk on the sites I found

mariposa687

What about when you've actually met them (maybe even had a few dates) and you like them but they don't want to see you again?

As you can probably tell, I didn't date around much before.

AubreyMac

I've been doing online dating for a year now and like you, I tend to prefer to meet someone face to face first but I never really get the opportunity.


I work with all women and when I go out, even with Meetup.com it tends to be mostly women anyway but that's coz I will only go for the activity rather than just try to meet someone. So things I got out for such as musical theatres do tend to interest women more.


With online dating I find that most of the men on there are non-responsive, if they are not going to chat often instead of one message per 2 days then forget it.


The biggest problem I find is that I feel more pressure to make a decision quicker. I mean, after 1 meeting I feel that I'm expected to decide whether I want to pursue a relationship with them or not. You just can not decide that after 1 meeting therefore I end up saying no.


I have the opposite issue to you OP in that the guys I've met tend to like me more but I'm the one finding it awkward to just say it. Therefore I have to tactfully tell them I don't wish to see them again. I have tried the ignoring game but they don't always get the hint.

AubreyMac

Zeni wrote: »

I only lived 10 mins from my OH for our whole lives but our paths never crossed, and I always think how sad that would have been if I have never met someone who ended up being perfect for me.

That's brave.


I once got chatting to a guy and we arranged to meet. Only on the day of meeting I found out he lived very very close to me. This scared me enough to back out. I was worried that it would get too awkward if I didn't want to see him again. I might bump into him or he might end up stalking me etc. I know that thinking might be a bit OTT but it worried me enough to not go.

DUTR

AubreyMac wrote: »

That's brave.


I once got chatting to a guy and we arranged to meet. Only on the day of meeting I found out he lived very very close to me. This scared me enough to back out. I was worried that it would get too awkward if I didn't want to see him again. I might bump into him or he might end up stalking me etc. I know that thinking might be a bit OTT but it worried me enough to not go.

With due respect, what if HE didn't want to see you again?