Frump to Fab 2018 - Fabulous Dahhhhlings

Toni'sfriend

Thank you for all the advice, ladies. It's very kind of you to take the time and trouble.
I guess what I'm taking out of this (to begin with anyway) is that I need to be organised, get into a routine and stick to it.
So, I have a plan:
It's 10 weeks until I go on holiday. Surely I can lose a stone (maybe a little more) before then.
Cleansing routine morning and night (started last night).
Hair appointment on Tuesday and every six weeks thereafter for cut and colour. Make sure it's styled and looking good before I go out anywhere (and even if I don't go anywhere).
Make an appointment to get eyebrows done and keep them tidy thereafter.
Ditto nails.
Wear perfume every day. Penhalligon's Bluebell today even though I haven't left the house.
Got a few really nice tops and a couple of pairs of presentable trousers which I can wear until I lose a bit of weight. Just need to make sure they are all cleaned, ironed and looking as best they can.
Other things to be added as I go along.
Hope you won't mind me boring you with my progress but I think I'll be able to do it if I have to confess on here to being naughty.
Off now to read some more posts and pick up some more tips.

sugarbaby125

Hello Ladies,

I have spent so much of my life single and completely celibate since my divorce became absolute and final 22 years ago.

I did not use the word incredible about Wayne and mine's sex life lightly. It was not simply great, I had that with my ex-husband but with Wayne, we were so ultra compatible in bed, that I could easily have 30 (yes 30) orgasms in an hour of sex with Wayne. As Wayne was always ultra aware of my health issues, he would let me set the pace and be really respectful of all of my needs.

Jamaican men are always being attracted to me, but they have a culture and a mindset that is at odds with all of my fundamental beliefs and my moral stance on so many issues. I have turned away so many Jamaican men, but Wayne persistently pursued me for 5 months before he finally made a chink in my emotional armour.

It has not worked out with Wayne, but this would be a very, very long post if I was to list all the many ways in which Wayne was demonstrating his love and respect for me outside of our sexual relationship. As I keep a daily diary it would be easy for me to be deadly accurate. I do not have any patience with men, as I am able to provide for me and my children. I do not need any man, but it would be lovely if I met my Mr Right. Wayne has always been painfully aware that I did not consider him right for me, that I did not want to live with him or to marry him no matter how many times he asked me. This time around we both agreed to talk to each other a lot more and to be honest with each other as petty issues arose. I could only commit to Wayne by being honest with him always and by being 100% loyal to him even when we were apart for months at a time. In the 1st year, I had no contact with Wayne for just over 3 months and in the 2nd year no contact for 8 and a half months.

We had discussed more than once in the last few weeks how if I felt the need to walk away from Wayne again for the 5th time after the previous 4 times, it would definitely be the last and final time for me. We parted with no cross words, just an acknowledgement that after more than 2 years of this on/off relationship it was time to call it a day.

I have met many women throughout my life and read the stories of many more women who do not have orgasms from penetrative sex and this has always astounded me! My suggestion to women I know, including all of my sisters and female friends, is that they were simply having sexual relationships with men they were incompatible with was laughed at, so I would just offer a listening ear instead.

I do not need to have had lots of sexual partners to know that I have listened to my instincts about what men to have sex with and I have ended up with men that have a very deep connection with me in a sexual way without the need for anything except mutual love and respect. I am not into lots of sexual positions and would never consider using any sexual aids. I have never had a casual sexual relationship. If I have ever been in doubt, then the furthest I will go is hand holding and quite chaste kissing. Me allowing my passionate nature to show only comes when I love a man.

Despite my really passionate nature, I find it easy to be completely celibate rather than have relationships with men that invariably end up being wrong for me. I will never do casual sex, it will just never be me.

I was with my ex-husband for 5 years before marriage. Married for 8 years and then 2 years when we both swore we were living independently of each other because I did not want an acrimonious, blame filled divorce, even though he was at fault. We were lovers even after we divorced because the sex was so great and I did not want to have sex with anyone else. The great sex lasted 17 years!!!! We only stopped being lovers when he got serious about another woman and I let go of my past with him and forged a new, independent life on my own with our 3 children.

I then discovered how much I enjoyed living by myself with my children and still do. I have many interests that I am able to selfishly enjoy without always having to take into consideration the needs of my male partner.

chanie

Greetings from The Canary Islands

Hi fabbers,

Im in the Canaries and thought I would pop by. I have been keeping up with the thread, but have been busy settling in to my new job, so I havent posted much. New job is going well, but there is lots to learn. Having a holiday less than two weeks in has been really unsettling, but it was booked months ago, so it couldnt he helped.

Whilst at the airport,I bought a lipstick in duty free. I wanted a my-lips-but-better shade and was recommended Bobbi Brown in bare. As soon as I put it on, I knew it was the one.

Sugar sorry you and Wayne havent worked out again. You are a strong lady, and your post is very pragmatic.

Tonis friend I would recommend drinking lots of water before you go on holiday, Xmas this will improve your skin. Other tips include body brushing to improve your skin, home pedicure and hair mask (you can use warm oil for this).

sugarbaby125

Toni'sfriend wrote: »

Thank you for all the advice, ladies. It's very kind of you to take the time and trouble.
I guess what I'm taking out of this (to begin with anyway) is that I need to be organised, get into a routine and stick to it.
So, I have a plan:
It's 10 weeks until I go on holiday. Surely I can lose a stone (maybe a little more) before then.
Cleansing routine morning and night (started last night).
Hair appointment on Tuesday and every six weeks thereafter for cut and colour. Make sure it's styled and looking good before I go out anywhere (and even if I don't go anywhere).
Make an appointment to get eyebrows done and keep them tidy thereafter.
Ditto nails.
Wear perfume every day. Penhalligon's Bluebell today even though I haven't left the house.
Got a few really nice tops and a couple of pairs of presentable trousers which I can wear until I lose a bit of weight. Just need to make sure they are all cleaned, ironed and looking as best they can.
Other things to be added as I go along.
Hope you won't mind me boring you with my progress but I think I'll be able to do it if I have to confess on here to being naughty.
Off now to read some more posts and pick up some more tips.

Toni I think you have made some great decisions about your fabbing journey and you will definitely develop your own routines and find the best ways to make yourself look and feel better

sugarbaby125

Chanie, great to hear from you in the Canaries. Enjoy every minute of your holiday

The heatwave continues in the UK. I am looking forward to using my 3 day River Red rover cruise pass this week.

I now have £715 in my holiday savings account.

lessonlearned

Good morning everyone

Chanie ....enjoy your holiday. And I'm glad to hear that you think your new job is going to be interesting and challenging.

Toni ....great start. Just remember baby steps and be kind to yourself

SUgarbaby - well done on the holiday savings. It's amazing how it mounts up. I started a dribs and drabs account last month for my holiday spending money......Iceland next June......it's reached £50 already. It's amazing how it soon adds up. I've have just been doing my accounts and I'm pleased to say I'm doing so much better with my food budget this month too.

As you know I decided to take on a small mortgage for my new house so as not to deplete all my savings. I do find that once you start dipping into savings in can be difficult sometimes to replenish the savings pot, hence the mortgage.

Also I need to think about repairs and renovations. The budget will be a bit tight for a while but that's ok. Just need to be a bit more mindful with my spending. As well as house renovations I do want to have a decent social life so it makes sense to cut back on unnecessary spending where I can.

I have been very restrained......no eBay or charity shop bargains, and no using Amazon ss my personal lending library. :rotfl: Having said that I've just ordered two books for DS1s birthday next week. Because they are technical books they were quite expensive, the sort of book he would love but think twice about buying iyswim (green building and renovation books/alternative energy for period properties). I think he will be chuffed with them.

Speaking of social life....it's very much a family weekend. Last night DS2 and his girl took me to my favourite restaurant for a belated birthday treat. It was a lovely evening although a bit hot in the restaurant. And then today I shall be seeing my grandson.....:j

Going to pop out for a walk before it gets too hot......my knees feel so much better so walking is back on the agenda. Going to start slow and build up, aiming for 5k steps a day. Managed 4k on Thursday and then had acupuncture on Friday so rested my knee yesterday.

Had 6 treatments so far, 10 more to go so not quite halfway. I feel so much better. Knees, shoulders and neck are vastly improved. Sleeping really well. Still a few weird side effects from the treatment but they are usually short lived.

Next week need to start chasing solicitors etc, still awaiting the roof report. Have received the timber report......they inspected the roof timbers and said they were fine so hopefully the roof repairs needed shouldn't be too bad. I am happy enough with the timber report, again not too bad. Once I've got all the figures back I shall go back to the EA and see if we can renegotiate a bit. I offered the full asking price in good faith so hopefully the vendor will be reasonable and play fair.

It will be nice to get it all sorted out. I would like to be in sometime in September if possible.

The house is likely to be filthy so I am thinking about putting the furniture in storage for a few days so that I can give it a thorough blitz before actually moving in. So much easier when it's empty. I might even be able to get the woodworm treated at the same time. The bathroom smelt a bit so I want to get he old vinyl floor covering up straight away and start sloshing some bleach around...don't really fancy using the bathroom much as it is. A new bathroom will be the first major inside job but if I can give it a thorougn deep clean before moving in it will be ok for a few weeks

Depending on when the move is I might be able to stay with DS1 (depends on whether the Venezuelans are still here). If not I'll just book a hotel for a few nights. Maybe one with a spa and treat it as a nice mini break. :rotfl:

sugarbaby125

Hello Ladies,

I went to Karaoke last night, knowing Wayne would be in the same pub did not put me off. He had been phoning and texting me trying to change my mind about my decision to bring an abrupt halt to our relationship.

What is ironic is that it was a women's black cardigan tossed in the back of his car that brought our relationship to a crashing halt. On Friday Wayne assumed the cardigan was mine and was annoyed that I had dropped it on the floor of the back of his car. As I pointed out to Wayne, I own far in excess of 200 pieces of clothing all bought by myself, so I am only too aware of what I own and that cardigan most definitely was not mine. When he could not explain what a women's cardigan was doing in his car, the obvious had to be true.

Last night Wayne decided to own up to the fact that yes he had had sex with another woman and she was not the first. :mad: He had made 'a mistake' and he was now going to change his ways because I was the only woman he wanted etc etc. :eek: I was not interested. I ended up losing my temper with Wayne and telling him in no uncertain terms how he had been lucky to have spent time as part of my life, on and off for the last 2 years and I found him to be a dirty hoe who was so without confidence that his ego was only bolstered by having sex with female dirty hoes and he and they were welcome to each other. :mad: Wayne admitted that he had always used a condom with these other women and seemed to think he had done me a favour by doing so. :eek: I told him again that I would never forgive nor would I ever forget how he had betrayed me, hurt me and totally disrespected me. :mad:

He tried to blame me!!!!! He was never sure of me, as I had parted ways with him before and he never knew if he was going to talk to me or see me ever again. Wayne is just a pathetic excuse for a man.

As I told him, he will be the laughing stock of that pub, when they all realise that I am not talking to him and want nothing more to do with him. There were so many men who would openly ask Wayne how he had got so lucky. He knows how many men made it clear to him, that they were more deserving of my charms than he was. They will be totally amazed that there they were feeling jealous and envious of Wayne being with me and happy to tell him so again and again. Yet this fool of a man could not value the 'decent, good, clean, intelligent, sexy woman' (Wayne's words) that he had ended up with.

As I told Wayne, I had done more with my life in 2018 so far, than he had done with his 50 years of his life so far. His only real achievement in life is his 6 children and his trade as a bricklayer. I laid bare to him verbally some of my many, many achievements in life. :cool: His has been a wasted life and his smoking of cigarettes and weed and his constant drinking has prematurely aged him, so everyone always assumed he was much older than me, even his friends as Wayne keeps his age to himself.

Now I know all the details, it has killed every ounce of affection, love and caring that I once had for Wayne. It is easy for me to be strong and resolute about never speaking to Wayne again. As I told him, he is the worst example of a man there is and if any of his 5 sons knew the real Wayne, they would be ashamed and embarrassed that he was their Father.

Thankfully, this is the final post that I will ever feel the need to talk about Wayne.

The rest of this week and my life stretches out before me full of exciting adventures and achievements for me. I am already happier without Wayne. :j:D:beer:

Floss

Sugarbaby onwards & upwards

lessonlearned

Sooooooo.....using a condom makes it alright then.??:rotfl:

Cheating, lying, cowardly weasel scumbag. Add delusional. Round here we call a man like that a "scrote".

As Floss says......onwards and upwards.

maman

sugarbaby125 wrote: »

He had made 'a mistake' and .....

His biggest mistake was trying to mess with you sugarbaby. He definitely picked the wrong woman.:D


I know I shouldn't laugh but you write so well. It's like something from a Jilly Cooper novel. The man must be delusional. How did he ever think he was going to get away with such behaviour. What a loser.


Glad you're having a good holiday chanie.:)


That's quite a list of plans and achievements toni's friend. I completely agree that it's all about getting into a routine. So many of the fabbing things I've introduced have become second nature although I'm still not good at creaming my feet. I think I'll book a pedicure soon and then try to keep it up from then although my feet aren't in too bad condition.


May I ask about knickers?;) M&S stopped doing my favourites a while ago. Fortunately I had bought in quite a few packs but some are getting quite scruffy. I was going to ask where the rest of you bought knickers and thought I'd Google for a picture to share. According to the M&S website they are now back in stock!:j I've got an M&S voucher to use up by the end of the month so this afternoon I'm going to go over there and look. Fingers crossed I'll be lucky.:)


Still lovely and warm and sunny here although it's too hot to sit out in it cheers me up just looking at it.:cool: