Polite way to say 'don't bother, it's fine'?

suejb2

JayJay100 wrote: »

, but his girlfriend is adamant that it's our turn to have them over for Christmas dinner.

Anyone any ideas?

Then you also be adamant that Christmas Dinner is at ??:?? and let them be no doubt that's the time and there is no wriggle room. You cannot control what she chooses to do but you can control your side.

robpw2

sounds like his girlfriend might end up doing a geraldine from vicar of dibley where she has to eat with everyone

AylesburyDuck

If this is now the 4th time of changing then enough is enough, a simple NO this is getting silly now, state time of the last time you agreed and say if you can join us great, if not you'll be missed but we'll survive.
Simple.
Just say NO.

pollyanna24

She's adamant that she will eat with you.

That just sounds as if she's invited herself! What if you didn't want her to come?

leslieknope

janb5 wrote: »

Sorry - I dont see the relevance of this - sounds rather offensive!

cards against humanity has various word cards and that's one of them

kingfisherblue

JayJay100 wrote: »

So far, we've changed our Christmas Day plans three times, to accommodate my stepson's girlfriend. Admittedly, her family life is complicated, as both of her parents have remarried, all of her grandparents are still around, and everyone expects to see her on Christmas Day. In addition, my stepson's mum has remarried, and he's expected to visit there too.

I've now received a fourth request to rearrange, and a little bit of 'I can't be bothered with this' is starting to creep in. I've tried saying to my stepson that he can happily miss us out, if it makes life easier for them, and we can catch up another time, but his girlfriend is adamant that it's our turn to have them over for Christmas dinner.

Anyone any ideas?

Time to take control of your own day, instead of having someone else control you. As others have said, give a time that the meal will be on the table and tell them that they are welcome to come to eat at that time, but you understand if they cannot make it. As you are the host, you set the time. It's just plain rude of the girlfriend to keep messing you about and asking you to alter things to suit her and her family.

I go to my sister's on Christmas Day. She attends church first, and then likes some time with her own kids before we arrive. I respect that. She's cooking, and I am a guest (albeit one that gets stuck in with helping in the kitchen and dining room). I abide by her wishes. Having said that, I'm sure that she would accommodate a different time for me (within reason) if I asked her, but if she did, I wouldn't continue to expect her to change things as this young lady is expecting you to do.

Whilst she wants to see her family on Christmas Day, she is old enough to show you some respect and good manners. I wouldn't be changing plans again to accommodate her - she clearly is not concerned that she is messing you aout, and maybe this will help her to understand that she should be fitting in with her hosts for the day, not have her hosts fitting in with her ever changing plans.

gettingtheresometime

And this is why I go away for Christmas.

NeilCr

Gosh. You do have a complicated family OP. So many dramas

I agree with others here - set a time that you will be dishing up and stick with that. That’s what My OH has done. “I don’t mind what you do before 2.30 but that’s when the food will be on the table”

sheramber

If she is adamant he is having Christmas dinner with you then it is up to her to be there at the time you are eating. She can organise her other visits round that,

[Deleted User]

JayJay100 wrote: »

... his girlfriend is adamant that it's our turn to have them over for Christmas dinner.

Anyone any ideas?

Your dinner, your schedule.
They fit in with you and not vice versa.