ASD and Appointee

MyLonelyWorld

How long should I expect to receive a reply from the DWP? I haven't actually sent the letter as of yet, but will on Tuesday morning.

w06

It might take a few weeks because it is a bit complicated by your Mum being your appointee, and so in theory all contact should be via her (but that's the problem at the moment too). If you do as they suggested though and take the letter into the job centre, explain and ask for it to be sent on then that's probably the quickest way to get it sorted out.

MyLonelyWorld

According to my younger sister, my mom is currently writing up a list of "demands" that I need to follow if I am to return.

Ames

It doesn't sound like it's a good idea for you to return and definitely not if your mum thinks she can make demands. Please try and stay strong and do what's best for you.

w06

I'll second that.

This sounds to have been an unhealthy relationship for some time. You've taken the leap and involved social service, keep going get this sorted so that you have as much independence as you can manage and as much support as you need.

Don't forget to take that letter tomorrow

MyLonelyWorld

The demands have appeared, and it's mostly 'do as I say, shut up and put up. I want to hear no complaints'. It also paints a horrible picture of me.

I feel awful right now...

Ames

MyLonelyWorld wrote: »

The demands have appeared, and it's mostly 'do as I say, shut up and put up. I want to hear no complaints'. It also paints a horrible picture of me.

I feel awful right now...

Don't. It's what abusers do. My family were the same, it's taken me a long time to realise that the way they treated me and the way they made me feel was wrong.

There's something called 'gaslighting' where they try and convince you that the way you remember things is wrong. Look it up, it might help you to see that your mum is trying to manipulate you.

She's got used to having the money she's been stealing from you. That's why she's trying to make you feel bad and go home. It's not because she thinks it's best for you.

MyLonelyWorld

I don't even know why I wanted to protect this individual from the consequences of her actions. Unless I have a change of heart by the morning, I have every intention of calling Social Services and requesting the safeguarding team (police included) that I was offered last week.

MyLonelyWorld

Got this message after I made it clear I wouldn't be returning under her conditions, and asked when I'd be allowed to collect my belongings.

No rush, do as you please. You will need to reapply for PIP as the form will need to be filled in again. It appears you are a lot more able than we originally thought so I will be unendorsing my statements given that new things have come to light in the last four months I can't be part of that as you no longer need any care. You are welcome to have <friend> remove anything from your bedroom you wish to take. Good luck in your new adventure :-)

w06

Don't worry about the PIP for now, that sounds as though it's manipulation because it's not really you who has been receiving the money intended for you anyway is it?

Obviously hard to advise over the internet but I'd try to stick with your plan of social services including safeguarding and if needed the police.

It's all very new and confusing at the moment but things will settle down and you'll find your feet again, hopefully in a happier place