ASD and Appointee

MyLonelyWorld

At my Nan's request, I contacted my mother to see when I'd be allowed to return home, to which I received a sarcastic reply, saying that my Nan can keep with money left to her by my grandfather in his will - this is not the case according to my nan. Message received there - don't waste time on her.

Moments later she decided to post on Facebook, making out she's the victim of my Nan's 'attacks'.

My nan then decided to try and contact Social Services again. She gave them more information regarding the situation. I was given the option of having a safeguarding team and the police involved - I don't want the police involved because of the possible repercussions that could affect my youngest sister.

I decided not contact the Adults Disability Team, and will just wait for Social Services to make their move. Thankfully my Nan is able to support me at this time.

Ames

I think having the safeguarding team involved would be a good thing. It will certainly help you to access help quicker. As for the police it's something to think about. I understand you wanting to protect your sister, but is leaving her with your mum keeping her safe or putting her at risk?

I know it's hard, I've been in a similar position. Maybe your GP can help arrange counselling to decide what's best.

iammumtoone

To be fair the police should be involved, what your Mother is doing is very wrong. As your appointee it is her responsibly to manage your money, at the moment you need that money for your board at your Nans, for your Mum not to pay it (either via yourself or direct to your Nan) is theft, regardless if your Nan can afford to keep you without it (that is irrelevant).

Do you know what the police involvement would be? It might only be to accompany the safeguarding team when they go to speak to your Mum about the situation, this is probably standard practice.

MyLonelyWorld

My concerns for my younger sister is that she could also end up homeless herself. Despite working hard at two jobs, she doesn't earn enough to be able to support herself if she were to find herself homeless - whether it being down to my mom, or not being able to afford bills if anything were to happen to my mom (worst case being prison). It's a difficult position to be in, but I'm trying to do what I feel is best in regards to her.

I have been offered counselling on multiple occasions by my GP, but it's just not something I'm comfortable with. Whilst I'm verbally capable, I find it difficult to communicate verbally with strangers. Even moreso when the subject is about me. That being said, I've had to 'suck it up' and communicate with social services over the past 8 days.

I don't know much about the safeguarding team, other than it offered to me, but I declined because of the police aspect.

w06

Personally I htink you should be in contact with the safe guarding team, it is safeguarding that you need.

I totally understand your concerns re your sister but it sounds as though she's big enough to look after herself - or access the help to do so - if she did find she could no longer stay there.

I am glad that you're safe with your Nan

Ames

I agree with I am... and wo6. You do need help from the safeguarding team, and what your mum has done is so bad the police should be involved. I think it's unlikely she'd go to prison.

It sounds like your sister is an adult so I'm sure she'd be fine. You have to do what's best for you though.

MyLonelyWorld

I had a call back from social services this morning. We discussed my benefits, and I was advised to contact the DWP, which I did.
The DWP weren't really helpful, but advised me to write a letter explaining the situation, and to take it to my local Job Centre and they will be able to send it to the right department.

So I suppose that's my next step. Does anyone have any examples I can use as a reference for this letter?

elsien

Safeguarding can be involved without the police, if that is what you choose.

w06

The letter doesn't need to be complicated something along the lines of: (change the bits in green to your details)

Your Nan's address
Your mobile number
today's date

re:
National insurance number
Full name
Date of birth

To whom it may concern;

I write to request that my mother is removed as my appointee and carer from all benefit claims.

I have autism and have been claiming ESA and PIP for sometime. My mother has been my carer and appointee and as a result has full control of all benefit payments made to me. My relationship with my mother has broken down and I am no longer living at home nor cared for by my mother.

I am temporarily living with my Grandmother at the address above, please use this address for all future communication. I do not have access to the monies paid to me at present and so request that payments are suspended whilst you undertake any assessment necessary to return payment to me or a different appointee.

I am currently liaising with Social Services and their Safeguarding team regarding my future care and support needs.

Yours

Your name

w06

If you can take that today and keep a copy, it's important that payments to your mum stop whilst they and you decide what to do so that you don't lose that money