Returning Christmas presents to sender?

cyantist

maman wrote: »

I'd accept the presents graciously and send a thank you on her behalf. Then just leave it. If they want to take your behaviour over the present as an olive branch then you can discuss it further.

I have to say that all this social media blocking does sound very juvenile although you seem to find it fairly normal . I'd think twice about getting too friendly again with such immature people.

I really don't find it normal, and I'm quite surprised at their behaviour. I've never come across this sort of thing before and I too find it very juvenile and immature. Obviously people do sometimes fall out but to block contact like that is what I'd expect from my 10 year old niece and her friends, not fully grown adults. In fact that's an insult to my wonderful niece who I know for a fact is more mature than that!

onlyroz

Keep the presents (particularly the ones for your daughter), send a brief thank-you note, and then get on with your life. Simples.

kerri_gt

You could put pen to paper (assuming there is no other way to contact them) and ask whether under the circumstances they would like the gifts returned before Xmas? Put the ball in their court.

Add in that if you don't hear back by Xmas you will assume they still wish you to have the gifts as they were given before the 'unfortunate event' (enter whatever happened) In which case you accept them graciously and (only enter this is you do / want) feel it is a shame that X years of friendship has ended in such a way. Or just put that you value the friendship you had, and wish them well in the future.

Reading between the lines it sounds like there is some jealously or mis-interpretation of circumstances to do with your daughter (perhaps friends who don't quite 'get' how a little one changes things in peoples lives). Or a difference of opinion. If the friendship is of value I hope you can sort out your differences eventually, if not - its one less card to write next year.x

Sarastro

I'd say be as generous and as adult as you possibly can be.

I guess they bought the presents for all the right reasons and the row came later? I'd treat the presents as the gifts they were intended to be - give them to your daughter and say thank you on her behalf. You won't lose anything by doing that. And leave it at that - they might regret what they've done.

chesky

Perhaps the gifts are a kind of peace offering, or at least an initial gesture at one. Maybe they want to make up and think this might be the way to do it.

seashore22

chesky wrote: »

Perhaps the gifts are a kind of peace offering, or at least an initial gesture at one. Maybe they want to make up and think this might be the way to do it.

I think the gifts came before the falling out, so I don't think you can read anything into the gift giving.

chesky

Apologies, I misread the first post.

paddy's_mum

kerri_gt wrote: »

ask whether...they would like the gifts returned before Xmas? Put the ball in their court.

Sorry but this is the last thing I would do since it gives the former friends the opportunity to make spiteful hay, whichever way it played out. Can't you just hear it...?

Scenario 1. Do y' know what..they even tried to reject the gifts we had sent to a little baby. What sort of people are they that dare suggest we wanted them returned...!!!

Scenario 2. They even wrote and asked if we wanted the gifts returned. If we had said yes, they'd have crowed to everyone how mean spirited we are. If we said no, then they've taken our generosity in spite of knowing how upset we are and how short of money...!!!

I'm with others who say accept the gifts for the child and write a thank you on her behalf and charity shop the others.

There are no winners in this but you can, and should, be the bigger person who doesn't stoop to point scoring. Leave the histrionics to the former friends

Red-Squirrel_2

cyantist wrote: »

I really don't find it normal, and I'm quite surprised at their behaviour. I've never come across this sort of thing before and I too find it very juvenile and immature. Obviously people do sometimes fall out but to block contact like that is what I'd expect from my 10 year old niece and her friends, not fully grown adults. In fact that's an insult to my wonderful niece who I know for a fact is more mature than that!

Well to be honest it depends on what you've done! (Or what they think you've done.)

richardw

The simplest is to return them.