Am I being silly to be upset over this?

bmthmark

Not sure why you need to ask him for permission to get a shower mat. If you want one you should of just got it.

goldlemontree

He does often refuse to compromise, I think that may be why I got so upset. It's always over little things, but it's rooted in the fact that he won't put my own safety and comfort a lot of the time over his personal preferences for things.

Comms69

goldlemontree wrote: »

He does often refuse to compromise, I think that may be why I got so upset. It's always over little things, but it's rooted in the fact that he won't put my own safety and comfort a lot of the time over his personal preferences for things.

I think it's rooted in your perception of that. The solutions are simple, yet you seem to want to be seen as a victim.


If you want to use a shower mat, use it and then remove it after you're finished.

Lolu

Hi

If it’s not the mat itself you are upset about and knows he doesn’t like to compromise, I’m struggling to understand why you asked in the first place.

Firstly I understand fully why you want one. I also understand that they can be unhygienic and in my opinion are unsightly.

You shouldn’t be upset with his response because you asked a question and happened to receive an unfavourable answer

It is not your b/fs responsibility to put YOUR safety first, it’s YOUR responsibility!

If you need it buy it and manage the situation with the least fuss!

If subsequently you slipped in the shower, it would be your own fault not his as YOU didn’t take action regarding your own safety.

Ronaldo_Mconaldo

Just be more careful next time, problem solved.

goldlemontree

Thanks to STARTING_AGAIN_IN_THE_SUN for making me realise why I was so upset about it. He has just messaged now to apologise and say we should get one, and I've said i would put it away after i've used it so he doesn't have to. I will just address in future that I think he needs to compromise a little especially if it doesn't hurt him to do it! I'm not making myself into a victim whoever suggested that psychoanalysis rubbish, because of course you would want your partner to care about your safety, it's not ridiculous to be upset over that. Thanks everyone x

maman

I understand you getting cross and upset with his response etc and often arguments can blow up over the most petty things BUT

bmthmark wrote: »

Not sure why you need to ask him for permission to get a shower mat. If you want one you should of just got it.

This is the bit that bothers me most. Why do you have to ask permission in your own home? Is it your own home? Does it feel like your own home?

Comms69

goldlemontree wrote: »

Thanks to STARTING_AGAIN_IN_THE_SUN for making me realise why I was so upset about it. He has just messaged now to apologise and say we should get one, and I've said i would put it away after i've used it so he doesn't have to. I will just address in future that I think he needs to compromise a little especially if it doesn't hurt him to do it! I'm not making myself into a victim whoever suggested that psychoanalysis rubbish, because of course you would want your partner to care about your safety, it's not ridiculous to be upset over that. Thanks everyone x

Just the way I interpreted it then.


If I want to buy something, I just buy it. I don't blame others for my accidents.


Yes a partner should care about your safety, but this is a problem that is solved with a £5 purchase. No need to even have the discussion from what I can see.

Red-Squirrel_2

I'm not sure why you asked him, is he the boss in the relationship? Do you always ask his permission to do minor things that most people would just do?

Lolu

Sometimes it’s hard to self analyse. You were playing the victim slightly and only seem to notice and will address that he needs to compromise. What will you do differently if a similar situation arises? Of course we want and expect our partners to consider our safety a priority but you are coming across like you require validation/ permission to be in charge of your own safety. It would be interesting to know what you would have done had you not received an apology and permission to buy the mat, continued to shower without it??