“Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.”

Toni'sfriend

Can I be nosey and ask how much we're talking about and the time frame for paying it?

Sun_Addict

Don't forget he'll need a passport and spending money too. Then there'll no doubt be a list of things he needs to take knowing what schools are like. It's a carrot they shouldn't have dangled.

EssexHebridean

Honestly WF - if he's comfortable with not being able to go, and understands why it's not possible, I'd say that you really don't need to feel under pressure to make the impossible, possible. Although foreign trips were always a no when I was at school - although there were far fewer of that sort of thing then anyway - there was a couple of UK residentials I went on that I now feel very guilty at having been to as I can see now what a financial struggle that was for my parents to manage. You don't understand those issues as a child and just take things at face value - but looking back now, I genuinely wish I could change things.

Toni'sfriend

Don't forget he'll need a passport and spending money too. Then there'll no doubt be a list of things he needs to take knowing what schools are like. It's a carrot they shouldn't have dangled.

I agree with this wholeheartedly. All these "incidentals" won't be cheap.

Gstrang81

I was the kid who got to go abroad on my own (to visit a pen-pal, how 90's!) and I was so miserable and home sick that I only lasted two weeks and had to come home. My Mum and Dad spent a lot of money to let me go and when I think back now, I feel rotten that they wasted their cash on such an ungrateful wee rat!

You've raised some lovely kids who cherish and appreciate everything you do for them. Like everyone else has said, these trips are never just the one-off cost the school states and if he understands why he can't go and he's ok with that, then that's ok too x

Toni'sfriend

Although there were far fewer of that sort of thing

This is so true. Things like this are getting to be the norm. My cousin's granddaughter recently went to New York with her school for a week. More than £2000 and we don't live in an affluent area either. What is that saying to children?

teafor2

Hi WB I can understand your thinking about the holiday but even being able to pay it back over a longer period of time, do you really want to tie yourself to that sort of commitment at the moment?

Personally I'd bite the bullet especially as you've said the high school he would like to go to do trips that are mostly paid for. As others have wisely said, his time will come.

DD went abroad in Y8, had a great time but never wanted to repeat the experience. The never ending coach trip was enough to put her off. :rotfl: DS has never shown any interest in the trips they organise and nor have his friends.

I know you said DS enjoyed his residential but you also said he didn't want to stay away from home again. Maybe he really is happy to have his effort recognised and is genuinely not bothered about the trip.

Hope everything is ticking over nicely and you're all enjoying the hectic but fun Christmas week. xx

WannabeFree

Morning

Sorry I haven't got enough time now to reply to all the replies. But I just wanted to clear something up after a message I've received.

I didn't apply for the loan so DS could have the privilege of going abroad. Nor for the 'luxury of having carpet'

I applied for the loan to clear the things sooner to make the budget work better and yes should there have been enough I would have put it to the very basic carpet I could have got. I'm sorry if my post offended anyone. The credit union loan was enough to clear the items costing more than £150 a month currently. Repaying at less than £50 a month. Yes over a longer period. However if that would have made now easier I'd have done it. That does go against the grain of most diaries here but I don't feel many could sustain a budget of less than £25 a week for everything for 4 people one who does cost more than 'usual'

Now I try not to post too many details of the negatives. Or into too much detail after the back lash previously. I understand I will receive opinions that differ to mine and that's totally fine. But there's no need to rude.

Anyway this turned into a bigger rant than necessary. I will be back to reply later and I do appreciate the replies on my diary both with it against my ideas so please don't take this the wrong way if you've replied on my diary

Hope that makes sense x

Gstrang81

WTAF! I think it's pretty clear from your diary that any financial decision you made wouldn't be made frivolously and I certainly wouldn't class having a carpet in my house as a luxury! While I understand the basis of the majority of diaries on here is to be debt free, your circumstances mean taking the loan makes sense for you.

Chin up chicken x

greenbee

I've read back, and I don't think anyone thought that you were looking at the loan to pay for anything exotic or luxurious.

I think the discussion about school trips was because people were interested in the different experiences they've had, and hopefully to reassure you that DS won't necessarily be missing out by not going at this stage.

As for carpet, as I mentioned, I still remember how miserable and cold and dusty having bare concrete floors was and am grateful every day that I've now had proper flooring for nearly two years (it'll be two years at the end of next month - it's significant enough that I can remember the anniversary!). The donated offcuts of lino, underlay and old carpet as well as threadbare rugs were a godsend - even heating doesn't have the same impact when you've got cold radiating up from dusty floors. So in the short term, please do try FB and freecycle - I'm sure there will be lots of people getting new stuff around Christmas so there should be plenty of good stuff going free.

I can quite understand that finding a way to spread the cost of the debt would be worth investigating. It may not have worked out, but you're doing well, and every week is a week closer to things hopefully getting back to normal. Give yourself some credit for how well you're doing and enjoy the holidays with your family.