“Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.”

earthgirl

The school should not have been charging you for these things or at the very least the hardship fund should have paid. Never mind donating to the food bank, could you go to the food bank and get some supplies to make things easier. I don't know how you get referred but I know churches give out vouchers up here, as can social work and I think some bods in schools too. I know you are too proud and you'll manage but I hate to think of you struggling and I'm still fuming at the school too!

Take care x

WannabeFree

Beanie the rent is £100 a week for here (£25 is the arrears) Housing cover quite a bit of the £100 but its paid 4 weekly and my rent is paid weekly. So I just add everything up that comes in (including the housing benefit) and add all the bills if that makes sense.

Thank you EG. I don't think we will need to use the food bank. Obviously if it came to that being the only choice or the smalls not being fed then I would swallow my pride and go. But fingers crossed that won't happen.

Once April comes and alot of things are sorted it will be much better I think. Unless of course the DLA is sorted before then too.

x

WannabeFree

I've been pondering on trying to reconnect with certain family members I have cut out over the last few months. I feel guilty I have cut them out and now the smalls miss out on things from them. I'd say time but they never gave time but would treat them to things. However when my MH was really bad over the summer I have completely cut them off after not being helpful nor supportive at all. In fact a lot of the MH issues probably stemmed from issues in those relationships over the years.

I do feel I can put my feelings aside if it benefited the smalls. But will it really benefit them? Or not? I don't want them to be affected by things like I was. But I also don't want the smalls to hate me for keeping a distance (okay a huge big wall) in between them.


Anyway back to what here is about.
Smalls had chilli for dinner, made with leftovers from last night.
They are bathed and in bed now and I'm hoping I can fall asleep on the sofa at least.

x

HairyHandofDartmoor

That's a tricky one to answer about your family Wannabe without knowing them.

Normally I would say family are beneficial to children, unless they cause them some kind of physical or psychological harm. But it depends upon the circumstances.

Have the DC ever said they miss seeing your family or that they would like to see them?

WannabeFree

No more than they did when we where in contact HH. They never stuck to their word and would let them down last minute (normally without evening telling us they where cancelling visits etc)

I feel like they gained more 'things' when we where in contact though. As they would always try to show how they where 'better' than what I could provide. So they did benefit in that sense and I guess in a way I did This then provided something to be 'held' over me though. Such a hard decision. I know it shouldn't come down to 'things' but sometimes DS will say things like my friend is getting/has got X and I know you can't but X would have got us that.

I hope that makes some sense. I feel like I'm rambling loads of nonsense out

teafor2

From the outside looking in it doesn't sound as though the little ones or you are missing out on much to be honest. Family support is always important when the chips are down, but that seems to be lacking.

Your MH is a priority for you and also for your little ones. If getting back in touch with family is going to mean you feel put down by them or beholden to them or made to feel like you're not as good as them, then I really wouldn't bother.

I can understand how you feel when the children are talking about what their friends have. But honestly, it happens in every family. My DD's friend had a pony! Try competing with that :rotfl: Not that you're in competition but you know what I mean.

The other thing is as children get older they start to notice things for themselves and constantly being let down regarding visits etc. can be hard for them.

At the moment you seem to be struggling a little bit but you're there for them and the security they feel knowing that is all that matters really. x

HairyHandofDartmoor

I'm inclined to agree with Teafor2. Your MH is the most important factor here. Love and attention is appreciated by children far more than possessions.

please-let-me-be-lucky

Glad all the school trips went well.
Budget seems very tight .
I don’t know enough about your extended family to offer an opinion on what’s best to do, but I do know that none of my memories of childhood are of ‘things’, just happy times.
Sending hugs Xx

WannabeFree

Thank you

I think I'm just having a wobble

beanielou

We are allowed a wobble.
I have them often.


Dont discount the foodback all together.
They are there too help & would much rather the food wasent sitting in the shelves.
( I voluteer at our local one)