Estate agents phrases you love to hate

Callie22

I hate it when they mention 'obscure glass windows'. I know what they mean but it's a usage that really grates on me. I also don't like 'low maintenance garden', as it usually means an expanse of cracked concrete that's more of an exercise yard than a garden.

Davesnave

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

Since moving I've spotted the word "commodious" in an EA description - cue for me thinking "I've not got a 19th century dictionary" and having to google to see what it meant.

That was Morgan & Davies, but I've not seen them use 'commodious' for a while.

Perhaps they found English people were thinking it was some sort of primitive Welsh toilet facility? :rotfl:

GaleSF63

Davesnave wrote: »

"Sea glimpses." .....If you stand on a chair.

I once took a photograph of the QE2 from our living room window mainly so that I could say that I could see the QE2 from our living room. I never mentioned that I had to stand on a chair so that it was possible to see it over the railway embankment.

Maybe I should have been an estate agent?

Mr.Generous

I hate it where they describe everything as "Tastefully decorated throughout" when they mean hideous huge bold poppy wallpaper and multiple "feature wall" paint jobs in bold colours.

StumpyPumpy

Our previous home is only about 200ft from the rear exit of an Estate Agent and was where we bought it from in the first place (under different ownership). It really was the logical first place to go to when both selling and looking to buy in the area, however... We absolutely refused to go with them because these days their Rightmove blurb is full of:
"CALLING YOUNG FAMILIES"
"COMMUTERS DELIGHT"
"LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION"
and even
"INVESTORS DREAM - PLACE YOUR BIDS" on non-auction properties.

I suspect that other sellers in the area feel the same way as we did and are voting with their feet. Just judging on current listings on RM, they seem to have lost a lot of market share - the agent we sold through has 3 times as many properties in the area listed on RM, despite being further away. A couple of years ago those figures would have been reversed.

SP

moneyistooshorttomention

Davesnave wrote: »

That was Morgan & Davies, but I've not seen them use 'commodious' for a while.

Perhaps they found English people were thinking it was some sort of primitive Welsh toilet facility? :rotfl:

Quick check later and they seem to have updated to "deceptively spacious":rotfl:

Which was followed by a bit of a browse-around on their website and due sympathies for what I can see where very relevant facts arent being mentioned (cue "Catch the incomer that won't know" territory). Followed by noticing another property that's probably fine of itself - but anyone wondering why it's so cheap had better go for various good walks around that town and pay attention - and they'll realise just how isolated they might feel if they bought one in that area (unless they live there anyway).

kathrynha

I remember one when we were looking described as "requires some cosmetic upgrading" and "with unique original features" which in reality meant it had been built and decorated in the late 60s and had had no maintenance since, and the brown, purple and orange swirly carpets were definitely unique.

Littlebobo1981

Offering versatile accommodation - meaning the layout is just plain weird ( ironically this isn't my house LOL)

Davesnave

GaleSF63 wrote: »

I once took a photograph of the QE2 from our living room window mainly so that I could say that I could see the QE2 from our living room. I never mentioned that I had to stand on a chair so that it was possible to see it over the railway embankment.

Maybe I should have been an estate agent?

Or perhaps a photographer.

I think it was probably in the mid 90s when I went for a walk on the outskirts of my tourist-orientated city, to see if I could catch the view shown in the official guide book. Naively, I thought it was 'real.'

It was only when I got to the approximate location the shot was taken from that I realised it was all smoke and mirrors....or rather the effect of a very long lense foreshortening the view. No one with standard 50mm eyes could see what the camera had seen.

Since then, EAs have discovered the delights of zoom and fish eye lenses, while even the most naive among us have worked out how to spot that too.

Ithaca

"Garden laid mostly to lawn" = it's green so it's technically a lawn, but it's mostly dandelions and moss

"Mature shrubbery" = it's so overgrown there's a good chance you will lose one or more of your children in the foliage

In our town at the moment the phrase "countryside views" is a code for "will soon have HS2 trains screaming past every 5 mins".