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Estate agents phrases you love to hate

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Comments

  • POPPYOSCAR
    POPPYOSCAR Posts: 14,902 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    New to the market........

    8 months later still listed as such.
  • Lucky_Duck_2
    Lucky_Duck_2 Posts: 292 Forumite
    Tenth Anniversary 100 Posts Photogenic Combo Breaker
    Within striking distance....
  • Davesnave
    Davesnave Posts: 34,741 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    dancing_star wrote: »
    hahaha!

    One that I am always (maybe unfairly) worried by is "ideal for investors" ie 'bit of a dump in a crap area'

    Or perhaps,"Don't even think about a mortgage on this one."
  • Murphybear
    Murphybear Posts: 8,103 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    How about this- "convenient for railway station". Roll on Christmas Day, the only time trains will not be running continuously past the back door.:rotfl:
  • ancientofdays
    ancientofdays Posts: 2,913 Forumite
    Fifth Anniversary 1,000 Posts
    "The station is only a bike ride away"
    What this actually meants is that the house is nowhere near a bus route and it will take you at least an hour to walk to the local station.

    "Needs some cosmetic upgrading"
    Most of the wallpaper is hanging in damp strips and it has an interesting orange bathroom suite
    I was jumping to conclusions and one of them jumped back
  • jackieblack
    jackieblack Posts: 10,576 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    eddddy wrote: »
    Or from a different perspective...

    Hooray! Finally an estate agent who is truthful!
    I'd buy a house from this agent!
    2.22kWp Solar PV system installed Oct 2010, Fronius IG20 Inverter, south facing (-5 deg), 30 degree pitch, no shading
    Everything will be alright in the end so, if it’s not yet alright, it means it’s not yet the end
    MFW #4 OPs: 2018 £866.89, 2019 £1322.33, 2020 £1337.07
    2021 £1250.00, 2022 £1500.00, 2023 £1500, 2024 £1350
    2025 target = £1200, YTD £9190
    Quidquid Latine dictum sit altum videtur
  • moneyistooshorttomention
    moneyistooshorttomention Posts: 17,940 Forumite
    edited 19 November 2017 at 7:26AM
    Does that bring up another theme then? How our houses were described and what they're actually like?

    I've just hoicked out the estate agent details for my current house.

    WHAT THEY SAID/WHAT THEY MEANT
    "low maintenance" = well it will be low maintenance - once you've absolutely gutted it. Meanwhile - it's so bad it barely functions and you can only just about live in it until the work is done.

    "ideal for retired" = some of the neighbours are elderly and old-fashioned attitude and they're hoping the new owner will be too (:rotfl:I'm not:rotfl:). Surrounding area needs some hauling into the 21st century. Those elderly neighbours will moan and moan and moan as you haul your own particular house into the 21st century.

    "great location" = well it's convenient - and we aren't going to admit to the various disadvantages the location has.

    "very little garden maintenance" = loads of tarmac/concrete/cheap paving stones to remove
  • Davesnave
    Davesnave Posts: 34,741 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    POPPYOSCAR wrote: »
    New to the market........

    8 months later still listed as such.
    ...complete with that rare species in the garden: autumn daffodils. ;)
  • csgohan4
    csgohan4 Posts: 10,600 Forumite
    Ninth Anniversary 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    offers over/from....
    "It is prudent when shopping for something important, not to limit yourself to Pound land/Estate Agents"

    G_M/ Bowlhead99 RIP
  • Davesnave
    Davesnave Posts: 34,741 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    Two more:

    "A stone's throw from the High St." Drunks will break your mirrors off, vomit on the pavement outside and pee in your front garden.

    "Convenient on-street parking." So convenient, you'll hardly ever find a space when you get home from work.
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