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Estate agents phrases you love to hate

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Comments

  • Scotbot
    Scotbot Posts: 1,541 Forumite
    Seventh Anniversary 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    Apparently everywhere within a 5 mile radius of where I live is a desirable location. Even the house with a driveway that you would need to reverse out from on a blind corner on a busy road that has been on the market for 9 months.
    Early viewing essential. Orherwise our vendor will kick up a stink...
  • kinger101
    kinger101 Posts: 6,659 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    edited 19 November 2017 at 11:00AM
    Viewing recommended (like I was ever going to buy a property I've never seen).

    Benefits from (has).

    Briefly comprises (that statement is even briefer if you leave the word briefly out).

    Well proportioned (shoebox).

    Subject to planning permission (which has already been refused).

    Currently let at a yield of (some pitiful amount that has made the currently owner decide to sell).

    Within walking distance of the town centre (no parking whatsoever and no chance of getting a permit).
    "Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance" - Confucius
  • Pixie5740
    Pixie5740 Posts: 14,515 Forumite
    10,000 Posts Eighth Anniversary Name Dropper Photogenic
    I know this isn't a phrase but this is some estate agent photoshopping that really rips my knitting. There is a farm house for sale near a friend's house in Pitcaple. Next to the house is a large electricity pylon. There is no way on God's Green Earth that you can take the front of house shot that the estate agent has without getting the pylon and some of the overhead cables in the shot. Do they not think people will notice a bloody big pylon when they pull up to view the property?
  • martindow
    martindow Posts: 10,628 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    Another pedantic comment - comprises of

    My favourite was a terrace that had been mostly demolished, to build a new road, apart from the end house which was described as 'Recently Detached'.
  • moneyistooshorttomention
    moneyistooshorttomention Posts: 17,940 Forumite
    Since moving I've spotted the word "commodious" in an EA description - cue for me thinking "I've not got a 19th century dictionary" and having to google to see what it meant.

    "In a quiet road" - I've found before now that that phrase means "The road, of itself, doesnt generate much noise (little traffic going along it etc) - but there's a blimmin' busy main road just down there....and you can hear it clearly".
  • ancientofdays
    ancientofdays Posts: 2,913 Forumite
    Fifth Anniversary 1,000 Posts
    "Immaculate" seems to mean relatively tidy.
    I was jumping to conclusions and one of them jumped back
  • Cakeguts
    Cakeguts Posts: 7,627 Forumite
    Sixth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    "Needs work" means that there is a large crack in the gable wall and a tree growing through the floor in the living room.
  • WeAreGhosts
    WeAreGhosts Posts: 3,116 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    Dorma instead of dormer.

    I hate the ones who type everything in CAPS, too.
  • dancing_star
    dancing_star Posts: 314 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 100 Posts Name Dropper
    WeAreGhosts wrote: »
    I hate the ones who type everything in CAPS, too.

    Possibly more Annoying than That Is the random Capitalising of the occasional Word.
  • moneyistooshorttomention
    moneyistooshorttomention Posts: 17,940 Forumite
    Cakeguts wrote: »
    "Needs work" means that there is a large crack in the gable wall and a tree growing through the floor in the living room.

    Sounds like we could usefully do with seeing those EA particulars if you have them to hand:rotfl:
This discussion has been closed.
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