should I be worried or am I just being silly re. 2yr old

mummy2one_2

I'm a regular lurker, plucking up courage to post.. here goes

I have a 23 mnth old and I'm just getting a little more concerned about his development, I'm a first time mum and don't have anyone to really turn to to ask advice apart from the hv who seems little interested, so I wanted to sound you all out to see if I'm just expecting a lot from my baby or if these are signs of something else

What kind of ages should he be doing things and when is his development a "problem"

he's not saying words yet, not mum or dad or bye bye hello anything but he does babble and aaargh and shout iyswim. He's not very good with food, can't do finger food apart from little organix crispies and biscotti's, shows absolutely no interest in picking other food up and putting it in his mouth, he'll hold a spoon but not do anything with it but his pincer type finger tip movements are awkward & chunky & he shows no interest in holding a cup

He's walking fine and loves to go out so I know thats no problems, but he doesn't point or wave at anyone even me & daddy. Although he does flap, by that I mean that he loves buses, well, the wheels as he loves to see them turning around when they move and when they do, or something catches his attention that he likes he flaps his arms and bounces up and down in his pushchair

He'll play with his toys for a little while but really only interested in the toys with wheels or toys which spin (like his spinning top), not bothered for shape sorter etc but give him something like a friction powered car that whizzes around he's happy.

He's a happy cheerful little thing and I've no worries that he's not happy but I've just started to become more concerned about these things and that they're perhaps not normal as I overhear other mums on buses etc saying their dd/ds isn't yet 2 and they sit there saying hello, car, bike etc etc and feeding themselves things and drinking with a cup etc & I'm sat here thinking is there something I'm really failing miserably with and just not doing my little boy justice from being rubbish at this parenting thing.

I understand you can't really diagnose anything from a forum but I'm just looking for anyone else I suppose who's going through anything similar or from just anyone who can offer support

mummy_Jay

Every child developes at a different pace.

On the speach side I have to ask does he have a dummy by any chance? As they can cause problems with developing the mouth muscles and therefor speach. I can remember seeing one of the tiny tots house episodes with a child that had speach problems and she got him using a straw to blow bubbles to help develpoe them, also lose the dummy.

Another thought is his hearing ok?

My son loves vehicles. So too use it, get books with different vehicles in and talk through them, he will learn to speak in his own time.

You sound really worried and you don't feel the HV is helping, why not make an appointment with the doctor and get them to check him over.

Another thought is go on to www.babycenter.co.uk or www.babycentre.com they have a developement calender where you can go in and see what they expect children or different ages month by month until the age of 3 should be at in development.

I hope some of this helps

conradmum

I've seen three boys through this age and he sounds pretty normal to me.
I wouldn't worry too much about what other mothers say their children can do, as it's a favourite occupation amongst mothers to get excited about their children reaching milestones, and suddenly the fact that little Johnny has said "Mmmmmm" becomes "Johnny calls me Mummy all the time!" :rolleyes:
The thing to bear in mind is that they all do different things at different times. You say your boy walks very well? There will be children who're still learning to walk at his age and their poor parents will be worried out of their minds about it. I've found with ds3 that he lags behind other children for a long time then suddenly does a great leap forward. It went from me talking to the hv and his nursery about his lack of speech to me wishing he would stop talking just for 5 minutes!
My boss the other day was telling me how her son would have had learning support at school if such a thing had been available then, now he has a PhD!
While hvs can be a bit too quick to dismiss mums as overanxious, in my experience they're usually quite good at picking up classic signs of autism etc.
I think if you're really concerned, make a list of the things that worry you and go to your gp with them.

quietheart

I guess you'll have a two year check coming up at your GP surgery. Both my sons were referred to speech therapy at this, one had a few words at 2 (but should've had at least 8 apparently.....) and the second one was referred as he had lots of words but didn't join them together! Both of them have got speech delays (they are 6 and 4 now).
It really depends on each individual child as he could suddenly start speaking in sentences as some of my friends kids have.
As you are concerned I would see my GP and talk things over. In the event of a problem (and there probably won't be) it's always to get help sooner rather than later.

Cissi

I completely agree that children develop at different paces, and you probably have nothing to worry about. However, you clearly are worried, and I also think that IF there should turn out to be an issue of any kind, the sooner it gets picked up the better. I think that if at 2 he still isn't saying even Mamma and Dada it would be a good idea to get his hearing checked out at least. It could be that he needs to have tubes put in his ears, and if so this should be done as soon as possible. If his hearing is fine, it may be an idea to see a speech therapist - again as soon as possible, BEFORE there really is a problem.

If your HV isn't listening to your concerns, I think that your GP might be a better place to start.

Good luck!

SPARKY16

i had 2 children who are now gown up my Daughter the first born could hold an adult conversation and recite all her nursery rhymes from the age of 18 months then when my Son came along he was so different i used to worry about him because he couldnt (or wouldnt ) talk much but loved playing with cars lego and his football i thought he must be slow or deaf he wouldnt even attempt to write his name until he was 4 1/2 then he came on leaps and bounds now he is grown up he never shuts up lol but in everything such as school work and exam results he wasnt much different to his sister people used to say to me they all develop at different ages and now i know its true!!
hope this helps to put your mind at rest

mummy2one_2

Thank you all for your help and kind words, I think I will contact the GP just to make sure all is ok, like you say it's always better to get help sooner than later. I also understand that mummies can be very competitive with what their child can do so take this on board too.

Yes, he does have a dummy, I only tend to give him it at sleeptimes though, I never wanted to give him it at all but he was injured in hospital when he was newborn and it was the only thing that gave him comfort

thank you all again for your help

full-time-mum

mummy_Jay wrote: »

You sound really worried and you don't feel the HV is helping, why not make an appointment with the doctor and get them to check him over.

I was going to suggest talking to your GP too. It doesn't matter whether you have cause for concern or not, you are worried and you need reassurance that things are ok and help if they are not.

My children are 6 and 11 and 2 seems a lifetime ago but I've just looked in the appendix of Toddler Taming - Dr Christopher Green and, for a 2 year old. it says be concerned when:

• There is minimal or no speech (In this case, check hearing, comprehension and other areas of development)
• Toys are still being mouthed
• Toys are being thrown in an unthinking way
• Play is always repetative - eg: spinning wheels and banging blocks
• Interest in environment is not being shown. Should be a real 'sticky-beak' at this age
• There is a lack of 'body language'
• There is unusual irritability

I don't think you should panic, but on the other hand, I think you are justified in being a tad concerned. In your position, I think I would get a copy of the book from the library, go to my GP and say that
"I realise that children all develop at different speeds but I've seen this list and would really appreciate some advice."

The Dr Christopher Green books are generally well respected and I would recommend that you get a copy to look at. He takes a no nonsense, non-superior view of things.

Do you go to a mum's and tots group? If not, then I would suggest giving it a go. You can then see lots of other children of similar ages and the wide range of abilities they have. You will also meet other mum's who can offer mutual support.

Please come back and let us know how you get on.

mummy2one_2

Thank you all for your help, I don't go to a mums/tots group, mainly as he's not had his MMR yet I was worried in case he caught something (I know that probably even sounds stupid) but he's been missed out and waiting a date.

His hearing does seem to be ok, he responds to music/sounds etc

snowmaid

My 19 year old son couldn't speak when he was 2. I was concerned, had him at our GP who said he would develop at his own pace. He has just got a BTech in electrical engineering and is planning on going to university after a mission for 2 years.

mkbean

I have a 26 month old who is behind in many aspects due to a congenital condition so i'm very familiar with development milestones around this age.

The only thing of any concern in your description of your Son is his fine motor control, he should be able to pick up even very small objects - do you think he could pick up and eat raisins if he wanted to? You need to find some way for him to feed himself, as this encourages these fine control skills.