i did it! Ive jsut become a single mum - HELP ME!!!!

sammy_kaye18

Im sat her ein tears crying but i know tomorrow ill be relieved and all thsi crap will be over. Some of you may remember a few weks maybe a month back i wrote about leaving my bf, well ive finally done it - tonight was the last straw. He went on his photography course and said he'd be home at 10 - well 10.15 rolled around and still no sign so i rang him. He said he was in a pub with his mate and he'd be home in a bit'. So i hung up on him after id been sat waiting up he couldnt even send me a damn text message. So i text callign him an inconsdierate pr@ck, and he text back saying he was staying at his mothers because he didnt want to put up with this !!!! and sorry for havign a good time (sarcastic), so i told him to make it a more permanent arragement and he text back saying 'fine by me' so i text back saying 'fine your clothes will be ont eh doorstep tomorrow, post your key'...............................................Now what the hell do i do??? Ive got money to tide me over till the end of the month, the bills are paid, therees fully stocked cupboards etc and most importantly i have my son to raise and think of.What forms do i need to get?? I have no other family near me to help me out in any way so i am now the sole provder for my son adn have no babysitter or friends as i dont socialise well so i guess i have to leave my job now - ex bf is the typ e to have his son but palm him off on his mother so he's not having him as he is a useless waste fo space and much prefers talking to women online or sleeping than watchign and rearing his child...................................HELP!!!!!!

Alias_Omega

just reading your thread, just letting you nkow that people are about..

Floss

Big deep breath in.....and out....and in...and out

Right, make a list of people to phone:

Work - can you take an emergency day off tomorrow? I think this would count as one
Working Tax people - tell them about your change in circs
Council Tax - ditto (25% saving)
Do work do childcare vouchers? Can you get your son a place in a nursery or at a childminder? (Tell WFTC people if yes for childcare help)

Ok, breathe again...in...out...in...out

And repeat after me: "it WILL get better, it WILL get better"

:grouphug:

Love Floss xx

lisababy2002uk

sammy_kaye18 wrote: »

Im sat her ein tears crying but i know tomorrow ill be relieved and all thsi crap will be over. Some of you may remember a few weks maybe a month back i wrote about leaving my bf, well ive finally done it - tonight was the last straw. He went on his photography course and said he'd be home at 10 - well 10.15 rolled around and still no sign so i rang him. He said he was in a pub with his mate and he'd be home in a bit'. So i hung up on him after id been sat waiting up he couldnt even send me a damn text message. So i text callign him an inconsdierate pr@ck, and he text back saying he was staying at his mothers because he didnt want to put up with this !!!! and sorry for havign a good time (sarcastic), so i told him to make it a more permanent arragement and he text back saying 'fine by me' so i text back saying 'fine your clothes will be ont eh doorstep tomorrow, post your key'...............................................Now what the hell do i do??? Ive got money to tide me over till the end of the month, the bills are paid, therees fully stocked cupboards etc and most importantly i have my son to raise and think of.What forms do i need to get?? I have no other family near me to help me out in any way so i am now the sole provder for my son adn have no babysitter or friends as i dont socialise well so i guess i have to leave my job now - ex bf is the typ e to have his son but palm him off on his mother so he's not having him as he is a useless waste fo space and much prefers talking to women online or sleeping than watchign and rearing his child...................................HELP!!!!!!

hi if you need to talk to someone im here just pm me (i dont no what your going through but i am here for you to be able to talk to someone )

lisa

child359

sammy_kaye18 wrote: »

Im sat her ein tears crying but i know tomorrow ill be relieved and all thsi crap will be over. Some of you may remember a few weks maybe a month back i wrote about leaving my bf, well ive finally done it - tonight was the last straw. He went on his photography course and said he'd be home at 10 - well 10.15 rolled around and still no sign so i rang him. He said he was in a pub with his mate and he'd be home in a bit'. So i hung up on him after id been sat waiting up he couldnt even send me a damn text message. So i text callign him an inconsdierate pr@ck, and he text back saying he was staying at his mothers because he didnt want to put up with this !!!! and sorry for havign a good time (sarcastic), so i told him to make it a more permanent arragement and he text back saying 'fine by me' so i text back saying 'fine your clothes will be ont eh doorstep tomorrow, post your key'...............................................Now what the hell do i do??? Ive got money to tide me over till the end of the month, the bills are paid, therees fully stocked cupboards etc and most importantly i have my son to raise and think of.What forms do i need to get?? I have no other family near me to help me out in any way so i am now the sole provder for my son adn have no babysitter or friends as i dont socialise well so i guess i have to leave my job now - ex bf is the typ e to have his son but palm him off on his mother so he's not having him as he is a useless waste fo space and much prefers talking to women online or sleeping than watchign and rearing his child...................................HELP!!!!!!

Just to let you know it seems scary but take each day one at a time. Get an appointment at CAB asap and they will advise what you are entitled to and can even help you fill in the forms.
You don't necessarily have to give up work.

Yes there will be bad days but as you say your son comes first, it may be tough but talking as someone who is 2 years down the line of being on my own I am much happier and love my life. Don't get me wrong it's tough but great:D

Big Hug (((( ))))) to you.

Keep smiling:D

Witsend_2

Me too. Don't think I can be much use though as I have just told my OH of almost 22 years of marriage that I want a divorce about 20 mins ago, sorry all I would say is breathe, don't panic and tomorrow is another day, I have 2 children and understand your concerns. Would you rather him be there or not? my answer is not, although I am not as 'lucky' as you so to speak as he has no where to go.

Alias_Omega

sammy_kaye18 wrote: »

Im sat her ein tears crying but i know tomorrow ill be relieved and all thsi crap will be over. Some of you may remember a few weks maybe a month back i wrote about leaving my bf, well ive finally done it - tonight was the last straw. He went on his photography course and said he'd be home at 10 - well 10.15 rolled around and still no sign so i rang him. He said he was in a pub with his mate and he'd be home in a bit'. So i hung up on him after id been sat waiting up he couldnt even send me a damn text message. So i text callign him an inconsdierate pr@ck, and he text back saying he was staying at his mothers because he didnt want to put up with this !!!! and sorry for havign a good time (sarcastic), so i told him to make it a more permanent arragement and he text back saying 'fine by me' so i text back saying 'fine your clothes will be ont eh doorstep tomorrow, post your key'...............................................

Im a male so my views will be different, but..

I think he was probably asked to goto the pub after the course with his friends, its nice to get out and running home straight away makes you seem like a geek and mixing with others is hard over the age of 18yrs old. He probably wanted to fit in.

Once he was in the pub, he thought that ihe was late in getting back so he would of had some grief when he got home, from there you knew he was going to be late, or in the pub and wound yourself up. Your partner probably agreed to be going out all night, just did not want to tell you and has would you up as expected to make it right for him to go to his mums,

Meanwhilst, i would text him that he can come home when he wants, and when he arrives home act like nothing has happened, them tomorrow make it a fresh start..

I will say that both of you have changed, you've probably stopped wearing purfume, and himself wearing aftershave for when you were going to meet up, now its down to walking round the house in your underwear, with your partner farting in your face as he thinks its funny.

I would recommend a week away somewhere, have a fresh start and go from there.

Its obvious that you both still like each other, its just that both of you are stubborn and that will break your backs.

So, fancy being another single mum who males look at you as a 'hump & dump'..? I dont think so..

Good luck anyway...

Regards,

Alias :beer:

Zara33

He'll be back.

Pink_butterfly_3

I think I know you from a different forum, lol! It was quite some time ago but i'm sure your the same person. It was a parenting forum - the name begins with B??

Anyway, you'll be fine. You seem like you are a sensible person who is more than capable of standing on her own two feet. It'll be hard at first but your strong and you'll do great.

Maybe you'll be entitled to some additional benefits now your on your own? Its worth looking at www.entitledto.co.uk

pippamannequin

I think you need to talk, but take your time, think about what you YOU want to say and say it calmly.
If you really feel it's over, you aren't alone, there's a few of us about at the moment going through the same, including me, so pm and maybe we can help each other. xx

Get on the phone asap to the benefits office and tax credits, I dont know if you're working or not, but I was strongly advised to up my hours of work and include things i hadnt included as 'work' before and claim the higher rate self employment tax credits. It seems a good option as i never wanted to claim benefits and contnue working.

Good luck whatever you decide to do xx

Floss

Only you know how you feel, and how things have been between you both recently. If you feel you have got to that point where you can't bear it anymore, then you have made the right decision. I understand, as I have also called time on a relationship that was dying - and it is very hard to justify to some poeple who don't know the full story of a relationship.

Don't forget to breathe

:grouphug:

Love Floss xx