Home Alone; How old for child?

loopy_lass

i have read somewhere that if your "escort" works for a school etc. and is responsible for children he/she has a duty of care to report anything he/she may find a possible "child protection issue" it may be reported and taken no further, or it may be further investigated.

forearmed is forewarned. and i hope it doens come to that, but if your gut feeling is he/she wont let this go as you say... its a possiblity more questions may be asked

hope all works out for u

loops x

Mado

Good Luck cindiedunkley...

Dads do things a bit differently ... at times, but hey, we all learn form our mistakes!

moggins

I have to agree with everyone who's said that it depends on the child. I'm the mother of an almost 12 year old Aspie boy and sometimes he's the most intelligent creature I know and then other times I wonder what is going on in his head

I can trust him to take care of his little sister out in the garden, I can trust him to make a cup of coffee or tea. He loves to cook and often helps me in the kitchen but he has no sense of time or direction. I know that come September I will have to do the walk to and from his new school for at least a week before he knows where he is going and we'll need a constant supply of new watches (he loses one a week)

But I have absolutely no hesitation about leaving him alone in the house whilst I pop to the corner shop, he'd probably be okay for longer but I'm a SAHM so it doesn't have to happen. Aspergers is never black and white and what is okay for one would not be okay for another. I think it can only be down the the parent to sensibly judge what is okay for your child.

Savvy_Sue

cindiedunkley wrote:

When I questioned my son on his reasoning for a)baking a cake when I wasn't there, and b)not using eggs was ok, his response was "well dad was here" and my response was "your father doesn't know one end of a Bl@@@y cake from another".

:rotfl:

BTW, I too have found the son with Asperger's easier and easier to deal with the older he gets. It always was mild, but now he would definitely pass for 'normal', although the younger two are so weird in their own ways that you could say anything goes in this house!

cindiedunkley wrote:

Well we are on school hols at the moment so it is not really an issue but I've got the feeling that the 'escort' is not going to let this go. So if there are any developements after half term I'll keep you posted.

loopy lass is right, if the escort feels there is a child protection issue then they have a responsibility to report it. Could you pre-empt the issue by asking at school if they are concerned?

Js_Other_Half

moggins wrote:

. I know that come September I will have to do the walk to and from his new school for at least a week before he knows where he is going and we'll need a constant supply of new watches (he loses one a week)

Would this help?:-
http://www.iwantoneofthose.com - £6.99
"Shock Watch

The Shock Watch should live in every sports bag, car boot - you name it. It's waterproof and shockproof (of course), and comes on a tough and stretchy bungee wristband that just rolls onto your wrist, with no straps, claps or buckles to catch on anything, or unclasp at a vital moment"

Poppy9

Mado wrote:

Good Luck cindiedunkley...

Dads do things a bit differently ... at times, but hey, we all learn form our mistakes!

At least his father took the trouble to doing something with him - so many parents leave kids to their own devices.

Kippsy

Ok, I am a police officer and have looked up various children acts and offences concerning neglect, am going to summarise the information in a way that hopefully makes sense....


Although what social Services do may differ as they work with guidelines and all I have is the law....

Ok, IF (big IF) your house were somehow unsafe or it is the middle of winter and there is no heating or the cupboards are bare and there is no food in the house or the child isn't clean dry and clothed (obvious washing scenarios and mud baths excluded) then police would be worried and possibly take action.

If the child is any way wilfully exposed to danger by a responsible person (anyone shown to have attained the age of 16 years) then that is neglect.

The exposure to danger can be done wifully by the responsible person or by the responsible person failing to do something to keep the child safe.

With me so far?

Ok, in the eyes of the Law a child is anyone aged 16 and under, but a person of 16 can be responsible for younger children.

If the child is an infant under three years old then it is a different ball game and is definitely a serious case of neglect.

I can't say what social services might do but there is no offence in criminal law of leaving your capable child at home alone for a couple of hours.

When I was younger my Mum had no problem going out and leaving me and my brothers for an evening in on our own. It tended to be a disaster when she did arrange someone to look after us because we resented it so much.

Personally I think that if you as the parent believes that your child is capable to care for themselves for a bit then you are in the best position to make that decision.

Also nobody has mentioned the I don't know how many children out there who care for their diabled parents, children as young as four (I have been told)have been known to help disabled parents.

As long as children are loved and cared for and not left to fend for themselves in unreasonable circumstances or for long periods of time, more than a couple of hours say, then why not give them a bit of independance that they can enjoy!

I know this is really long and if it doesn't make sense tell me and I will have another go!

Quackers

Kippsy wrote:

IAs long as children are loved and cared for and not left to fend for themselves in unreasonable circumstances or for long periods of time, more than a couple of hours say, then why not give them a bit of independance that they can enjoy!

It made sense to me! Especially the bit above

I have 2 girls. One is 13 and disabled. the other is 10. We leave them for a couple of hours once a week whilst we do our weekly shop. Not that we need to - its about giving them independance and letting them know we trust them.

We started leaving them for about 30 mins (I did the quickest shop ever :rolleyes: ) and built up the time and now its a maximum of 2 hours.

jellyhead

my 8 year old says he can't wait until he's old to enough to stay at home while i do the shopping

loopy_lass

its a fair comment from Kisppy, but i beleive social services act differently, not from a criminal perspective but from the childrens act, social workers arent the police, and visa versa. so although a criminal offence may not have taken place, it still may be an offence regarding the childrens act etc. if that makes sense.

As for children looking after disabled parents etc, yes this does happen, but i wonder if it is a matter or sole care of assissted care. Surely a child is not solely responsible for an adult.

dont know. maybe someone has an idea about this, im just thinking out loud really on an interesting topic.

One other point... avent we got a lot of police officers on MSE... great people... great to hear their views etc, thanks to all....

loops