Home Alone; How old for child?

jellyhead

someone my sister works with got DLA awarded last month for her son with aspergers, it was refused first time and she appealed. he's 8 and goes to mainstream school, he's not statemented and doesn't get any extra help at school. i'm not sure what the criteria would be for needing DLA (and i don't know the child, so don't know what his difficulties are, all i know is that he couldn't cope with childcare so his dad works during the day and his mum stacks shelves overnight, so he's always being looked after by one of his parents) but if the OP isn't getting it then it might be worth applying. i think from reading my tax credits renewal this morning that they also give extra child tax credit for children getting DLA. would money from DLA and extra tax credits maybe mean you could negotiate your working hours and leave early enough to be there for your son when he gets in?

Ticklemouse

Re ages and the law, just found this page on the Nottinghamshire Police site. Might have a few answers some of you were looking for.

http://www.nottinghamshire.police.uk/faq/detail.asp?offset=15&pk_main=91

TM

Savvy_Sue

Ticklemouse wrote:

Re ages and the law, just found this page on the Nottinghamshire Police site. Might have a few answers some of you were looking for.

http://www.nottinghamshire.police.uk/faq/detail.asp?offset=15&pk_main=91

I like this quote:

Common sense therefore applies.

What a refreshing attitude!

Our youngest - 13 - usually cuts the grass. I haven't ever left him doing it without a responsible adult in the house, but today was about to leave him at work under the eldest's bedroom window. We have a circuit breaker switch! Gave instructions that in the event of a prolonged silence, screaming, or a loud bang, eldest must look out to see what had happened! Checked that he knew what to do if his brother had electrocuted himself - call ambulance, switch off power at mains, phone me.

Before we could get out, youngest trotted in to say that my confidence in his ability NOT to electrocute himself had been misplaced - he had cut through the cord! And I guess I won't be leaving him cutting the grass again any time soon ...

jellyhead

ooops! we're a clumsy family so i wouldn't trust anyone to not cut through the cord, mum and i have done it

Savvy_Sue

jellyhead wrote:

ooops! we're a clumsy family so i wouldn't trust anyone to not cut through the cord, mum and i have done it

First time we've managed it, fortunately, and fortunately no bang or shock and he came straight in, switched the power off and told us what he'd done! I know some people prefer a petrol mower and think they're safer, not entirely convinced myself!

loopy_lass

mmmmmm i wonder if the law is different for a child with special needs, i would check this out very carefully, you dont want something awful to happen, either he has an accident, or the police & Social services are there when you get home....

for me... i would not leave my daughter until she was 14, i cant replace her, i can replace my job, i had her & i have every right to look after her.. thats my personal opinion...

Savvy_Sue

loopy_lass wrote:

mmmmmm i wonder if the law is different for a child with special needs, i would check this out very carefully, you dont want something awful to happen, either he has an accident, or the police & Social services are there when you get home....

for me... i would not leave my daughter until she was 14, i cant replace her, i can replace my job, i had her & i have every right to look after her.. thats my personal opinion...

I do not see how the law can be different for a child with special needs. I cannot see how you would draft such a law. How would you define special needs in such a way that it didn't apply to any child - they all have special needs of some kind, at the end of the day!

The involvement of social services might be different if common sense showed that the child's needs meant s/he should not under any circumstances have been left alone at that age, but I do not think that is what we are talking about here.

Once they start secondary school we have to start a gradual process of giving them more and more independence until they are at last ready to fly the nest as responsible adults. The areas in which we given them independence have to vary from child to child and from family to family.

Some of you will be horrified to learn that from the age of 12 my eldest was left to cook Sunday lunch. Yes, sharp knives, hot oven, roasting tins, roast potatoes, the works. At 13 I still don't trust the youngest to stay home and do this, even with supervision from his big brothers, because they will fight and argue!

loopy_lass

every body to their own i guess... i just feel we should protect children from exposure to any kind of danger or injury which could be avoided and actual or likely physical injury.

but then thats my view, and im not suggestion anyone is not doing the right thing by their child, whats right for one person isnt necessarily right for another.. and i intend NO OFFENCE TO ANYONE

loops

bethscott1970

You know your son better than anyone, do you think if the worst was to happen then he would know what to do?
I know that, even though my eldest (12) has Aspergers, a record of needs (scottish version of statementing) and he gets DLA, I can trust him in the house on his own for up to 2 hours as long as I let him go on the xbox because he won't go into the kitchen, touch anything he shouldn't or break the house rules (which are set in stone as far as he's concerned). But my other son (11), who is also on the autistic spectrum somewhere, can't be trusted in a room on his own without being checked on frequently as he is too curious for his own good and will put himself in danger, he's taken sockets off the wall and tried to open a can of pop with a hammer before now (but doesn't get DLA even though he needs more supervision).

pandas66

Sorry to offend and I think it will.
I think your lad is too young to be left. Mine is roughly the same age as yours but is a 2nd child, but neither of them are home alone after school. Both mine are healthy 'normal' boys capable of making a hot drink and a snack. But I think if your child needs to be escorted to and from school then supervision is defiently needed at home. He will be under close supervision from the time he leaves your door to arriving home. The home is full of dangers, accidents as they say waiting to happen. I don't know the full extent of your boys' condition, I realise that and its a complete generalisation, but if you went through all the complicated forms and related beaurocracy to gain his statement and escorted place to school and was awarded it then there must be a reason. Like many posters above have stated there are huge differences in children and skills etc. In one respect its probably done him the world of good to gain independance and responsability but I hope its not luck that has got you to a year accident free.
You did ask for opinions but why after nearly a full school year. When mine were younger (primary) I worked in a different job and worked around them. Now both are at secondary, I changed jobs and work hours around them in the main. If they do out of school activities I then work around that. I'm not being self riteous although it does sound it even to me, but I can't face that accident. All possibilities are not covered but scenarios within the house are. 1 and a half hours is a long time IMO.