Blended family, who gets the small bedroom?

bigheadxx

So my girlfriend and I have decided to live together. She has 2 boys, 10 and 12, I have 2 boys, 12 and 16. We have all been to see a 5 bed house which we all like and is big enough and affordable. However, two of the rooms are quite a bit smaller than the other two. The other room my youngest dibsed straight away and nobody else laid claim. Its the loft room which I thought nobody would want but he does so thats one problem solved. The master bedroom we will have.

Her youngest will have the small room which just leave the two eldest, hers aged 12 and mine aged 16, they both want the bigger room. From my girlfriends pov, my son will only be there 3 or 4 times a week whereas hers are there 6 days a week. Also he is older, out more etc, all which I can see. However my pov is that I don't want him to feel marginalised and left out when we move, the boys are fairly settled in our current how and spend half the week with me.

I know whoever doesn't get the big room will be disappointed but Im going to put all my weightlifting stuff in the bedroom and use the wardrobes for storage as well. My two are used to having a big room each at mine and I think the eldest should have the bigger room for at least as long as he actually lives at home.

BorisThomson

The children that live there full time should have the larger rooms. If they all live there full time then you allocate the rooms in age order.

Your son needs to be told that he has no right to "dibs" a room. The adults make the decisions, not the 12 year old!

Nicki

I'd make this a lucky draw for all four rooms. If a child gets the room he doesn't want he can try to persuade one of the others to swop but there will then be no suggestion that the adults favoured one group of children over the other

Marvel1

All names in hat for the rooms.

Room 1 - name pulled out it's yours.
Room 2 - name pulled out it's yours.
And so on.

kingfisherblue

Larger rooms for those who live there fll time. If your older son is disappointed, then at least he is old enough to understand. In addition, he presumably has another bedroom at his mum's (or wherever he lives the rest of the week).

I agree with Boris that it is up to parents to allocate rooms, not the children.

bigheadxx

BorisThomson wrote: »

The children that live there full time should have the larger rooms. If they all live there full time then you allocate the rooms in age order.

Your son needs to be told that he has no right to "dibs" a room. The adults make the decisions, not the 12 year old!

No one else wants the loft room actually. I think personally that a 16 year old should have a bigger room, its not his fault that he won't live there full time nor is it his problem that the other 2 don't spend more time with their dad.

Also my kids aren't that fussed about moving, they did all that 3 years ago so it isn't an adventure for them whereas my girlfriends kids are more excited about the move and haven't moved house before.

theoretica

Can you build a partition in the big room to shrink it?

If the 16 year old gets the room, I suggest a clear plan that it is only for the next two years and the younger gets it when the elder is of university age, whether he goes or not. Also, what will the rules be for the others using it when he is at his mums?

Kim_kim

Swap it annually between the two boys who like the big room.

Or 4 bits of paper in a hat. Whomever draws number one, picks first & do on.

bigheadxx

theoretica wrote: »

Can you build a partition in the big room to shrink it?

If the 16 year old gets the room, I suggest a clear plan that it is only for the next two years and the younger gets it when the elder is of university age, whether he goes or not. Also, what will the rules be for the others using it when he is at his mums?

There is a possibility of an extension but thats time and money! The two small rooms can't be made any bigger without sacrificing the bathroom.

I did think about that, making it his room for two years and then it goes to the next eldest and keep the other sweet with maybe a big TV? for the time being.

The house is a good buy, been heavily reduced and is in decent state but the problem we have always come across is that one of the rooms is always very small. Nobody has said that they don't like this house but I want this little issue sorted before we make a decision.

clairec79

I'd probably let the younger one have the bigger room as he's more likely to want to PLAY in there and have more room - whereas the older boys do less active moving (going by my teenage son who seems to barely move more than the space of his bed - his room is tiny though, but his elder sisters share so tough)

Spendless

Are the two boys that want the larger room aware that you also intend putting your weightlifting stuff in there and also using it for your storage, is your girlfriend aware of this too?

It would annoy me to hell if that was my bedroom and I lived there full-time that I was sharing the space with your things. For that reason if I was your girlfriend's eldest, I'd let your son have it and let him have the inconvenience of having to step over your stuff and having to share storage space.