Starting over...

wishingthemortgaheaway

Sorry to hear you are having such a tough time. Do you know what your triggers are for your mh taking a hit?

I have a few and a few strategies to overcome some of it.

When I dip household tasks get neglected and the mess and disorganisation builds up. This makes me feel even more full and claustrophobic so I can't recover while it's not calm, organised or tidy. To combat this I spend a day/ evening watching tv on commercial channels. As the programme is on I write a list of three things I need to do, in the ad break I do those three things then sit back down again when the programme starts again and write three more things on the list. Rinse and repeat. Start with the things closest to you physically so your immediate space gets better first. (The French open tennis on itv4 is perfect for this and will be starting soon)

'Game face on' I have a lot of anxiety around what people think of me because if things I've done/have happened to me in the past. I put my 'game face' on when people don't actually know those things about me - it's a conscious decision to block out the anxiety. The more I practise the better it works.

Head space app for sleeping (don't pay, just cycle through the 10 free ones)

Money - yes. I overspend when struggling. I use ynab, so just wam from savings categories and climb back on the wagon. Draw a line and move on. Sometimes one last big spend stocking up the food cupboards with both food ingredients and lots of 'feel better food' helps kick start by frugal approach again 'I've got everything I need, I don't need to spend again'

Not sure any of that is any help. It's just what I do.

Hope you feel better soon
Wish.

UncannyScot

Sorry to hear your finding things difficult.
Check out The Blurt Foundation, they have loads of free advice and resources all put together by folks who know what it's like cos they have or are going through the same...
Also, you can always message me on here if you need someone to talk to about things
(((((HUGS)))))

ladymay

Thanks so much xxx


I've just got so much on at the moment - the business isn't where I want it to be and the amount of work to be done is so overwhelming that often I do nothing but worry about how much work I have to do; my self-esteem about my appearance and vocal ability is rubbish right now; my sleep pattern is all over the place; while I'm finally earning again, money is still very tight and I'm kind of sick of it; various friends and family need me and now is not the time to be offloading to them. That's without delving into past stuff that haunts me when I'm feeling down.


Basically it's all a bit much and I need some professional help to get over this. And I need to NOT think everything has magically gone away when I'm feeling better, which I am wont to do.

UncannyScot

I was lucky in that my GP is absolutely fantastic and was so helpful, understanding and knowledgeable on MH issues. She immediately sorted referrals for me to local support services.
I was referred and received group and one-to-one counselling/therapy within two weeks...

The group sessions were good as it really helped me and reminded me that other folks have similar problems and that we can help each other to manage and overcome them. I made a few good friends in the group that I am still in regular contact with.

The one-to-one sessions were also excellent as working with the counselor / therapist I was able to go through and analyse and rationalise loads of stuff that I was still carrying over from the past... there were tears (from both me and the counselor) and some of it was hard going but in the end it helped me greatly as I was able to offload all the stuff I was holding onto that was ultimately holding me back and preventing me from moving on in life.

I truly hope you find similar help and resolution.

... aIso I sent you a PM

(((((HUGS)))))

ladymay

Hi Uncanny, I've replied to your PM. Thanks for the heads up on the NHS help, I've just referred myself and will await my initial appointment. There's also a local subsidised therapy service I'm going to call when they open this morning to see if they can help.


Well, I'm back from my US trip to see my aunty and cousins, aand despite feeling very low a lot of the time there were moments that I really enjoyed myself. They're such wonderful people and I'm lucky to have them in my life. They're not blood relations - my aunty is my ex-stepdad's sister - but we've been through a heck of a lot together and I really miss her.


I made quite an exciting music contact over there who wants to work with me next time I'm over, so I have to go over again next year :cool:


Anyway, I've been up since 1.30am and my jet lag is baaaaaad! Upside is I've already finished my to-do list for the day :rotfl:



I had a fun wedding gig yesterday which resulted in my booking a big party at the hotel for the owners :T and today I have one of my regular nursing homes and a networking event.


Financially, I've really gone off the rails and am accumulating a lot of 'bad' debt. There are a couple of events I've fully committed to that need to be paid off this week, my car needs new brake pads, and I have a few bits that I have to replace, like my nice water bottle (please note a 'nice' water bottle to me is £5!), and then I basically have to shut down my spending to the bare minimum for the month.


I've also put on nearly a stone recently through over eating and drinking like a sailor (which has the added stupidity of affecting my singing voice). So nothing fits properly and I feel decidedly flubby and rubbish.


I'm aware that my diary has taken a bit of a turn recently, but when I feel like rubbish I normally just hide away and I'm hoping that keeping honest and open will help.

UncannyScot

Thanks for getting back to me
Hope that the referrals help you and remember, feel free to contact me anytime if you need too, happy to help wherever possible (((((HUGS)))))

ladymay

Thank you so much, Uncanny ((((Hugs))))


Late start today as I've had a lie in.


Had a fun but long weekend - travelled to London and back on Saturday to see a friend's art exhibition.... It was gorgeous weather and I was determined to have a NSD (packed a lunch to take up with me) so I walked the 9 miles from the coach station to the exhibition and back :cool: good excuse to get some exercise in! Sunday I had a gig at a gin festival (didn't partake as I was driving) then I headed up to the bf's. Not sure what was going on but the three-hour journey took over five hours - overturned container lorry, no fewer than five smashed up cars and two people getting arrested at Stonehenge meant the road was partially blocked - maybe the first weekend of summer drove people mad on the roads!


Yesterday was admin and music, and today I need to get some more music work done.


I've got my appointment through - it's in a couple of weeks - and I've started talking to friends about how I'm feeling which is a big step for me.


That's about it really! Time for brunch!


xx

ladymay

Af'noon!


A mixed couple of days... yesterday was great! Two new nursing home clients immediately converted to regular clients :j and The PUPPINI SISTERS said on social media that I was fabulous :eek::eek::eek: I'm a huge fan of theirs so it really made my day! Also a NSD, I was treated to lunch and I went to bed happy for the first time in weeks.


Aaaaaand today - woke up with a banging headache and was then harrassed in my business page's private messages. CUE ANXIETY SPIKE! It's the second time a guy has harrassed me there this year and it makes me feel really unsafe - not to mention the guilt over eventually being rude :rotfl:


Anyway, I'm on day 2 of a new meal plan I've created to try and eat well on a budget. Not bored yet! Had to pay the deposit for a wedding fair this morning so not a NSD. I'm getting a NSD every other day atm so I'll pop to the supermarket today for a couple of things I forgot today to keep that up. Not much on other than two of my regular nursing home clients this afternoon and the weather is rubbish here so tonight I'll just practice a bit of ukulele and stick on a face mask.


Oh, almost forgot - I have an assessment for means-tested subsidised talking therapy on Tuesday - finger crossed they can help me!


xx

UncannyScot

It's always nice when folks that you admire give praise and compliments isn't it.

(((((HUGS)))))

ladymay

UncannyScot wrote: »

It's always nice when folks that you admire give praise and compliments isn't it.

(((((HUGS)))))

It really is!


Weather is atrocious down here, so I'm having a sort out and batch cooking day. No plans to go outside so fingers crossed it'll be a NSD (only spend yesterday was £1.50 for the Tamar Bridge toll coming back from my gig). Just as well because it's going to be a spendy week - the car's going in for some jobs tomorrow - but all payments are up to date and I made seven bookings in the past week so feeling quite positive about that.


I'm still riding on the struggle bus - I was really anxious last night for no discernible reason - but my first assessment is on Tuesday and I really hope they can help me.


Oh, and not to brag but I did my tax return this week :T It's nice to know how much money I owe with several month to figure out paying it...


Ok, happy Sunday everyone! xx