Starting over...

DebtFreeDuo

Glad you are feeling more positive, have you looked into ways at handling your anxiety? Hope you had a safe flight.

ladymay

Back at my computer catching up on work. Slept through the flight which is exactly how I like it! Invoices sent, finances jiggled and washing sorted.

DFD, my biggest anxiety is money (I've worried about money since I was a small child) and it's definitely something I need to get under control, but in general the break up has turned me into something of a control freak. CBT has been suggested to me before and it's something I want to look into in the spring.

Tomorrow:

- volunteer shift
- gig
- shopping
- washing
- PAD

That's all I'll have time for, I think!

ladymay

- volunteer shift Done
- gig Done
- shopping Done
- washing Half done
- PAD Done

Spendy day today, filling up the car cost €70.14 and shopping was €31.21 - a bit more than I'd like but they had a few things on offer that I stocked up on (including protein bars which are handy when I'm on the road!) and I bought extra fruit and veggies because I'm gigging all week and like having a lunch box that's full to the brim I'll have to do a teeny top-up shop at Mr T though, Lidl is not very vegetarian-friendly and I need to pick up Quorn after the weekend.

All in all, I'm feeling calmer but I hope I have a better night's sleep tonight. Diet is back to normal, finances are a bit dodgy after the trip home but they'll be back on track soon enough. Still waiting on payments from as far back as September which doesn't help :mad::mad::mad:

To-do tomorrow:

- PAD
- NSD
- Take friend and dog-friend to vet (and be paid in tea and cake!)
- Gig
- Chase up late payments
- Tidy up
- Make batch of bean stew
- Go over rest of Christmas music
- Create set lists for weekend
- Finish washing

And if I have time:

- Get started on Social Media work
- Clean bathroom
- Work out

ladymay

Well, for the second time in six months I got dumped. So much for trust.

I'm exhausted.

Plan for tonight was to get sorted for the month with my to do lists but I think I'll just go to bed...

fay66

Men I gave up years ago Im 51 and suited to old maid.

DebtFreeDuo

Oh no I'm sorry to hear that! I'm off men (more to do with the fact that I'm still hung up on someone) its just so hard, I hate dating!

wishingthemortgaheaway

Lady May, sorry to hear that. What a rotter. Definitely a weekend to drink wine and eat chocolate.

ladymay

Thanks ladies. I'd love to drink wine and eat chocolate and do nothing but my next day off is Christmas Eve :eek::eek::eek: so I'll save my pity for Christmas when it is infinitely more potent anyway!

Aside from the **** show that is my personal life, I'm genuinely tired all the time atm. I'm having trouble sleeping again so I've divided my December to do list into "Must do" and "Want to do":

Must do:

- PAD every day - had to put the new phone on my CC and I absolutely have to keep on top of this
- Work (obvs)
- Keep chasing money I'm owed
- Book Xmas Eve bus tickets from airport to home (most recent ex was meant to do this, awkward!)
- Sort wedding music
- Sort rest of Christmas music and set lists
- Buy pressies for mum, brother and his kids
- Cancel phone contract
- Activate UK sim
- Get medical records from Irish doctor
- Eat well and exercise

Want to do:

- Create new website
- Create social media pages
- Book MOT
- Buy mirror and fuel cap
- Pay off CC - very much depends on when I'm paid by everyone
- Go back on hormonal birth control - my PMS is so much worse without it, I go up an entire cup size for about four days a month and boy it HURTS!
- See my therapist

I have a full day today, singing at a party this afternoon then running another party tonight. Plans for this morning are to crack on with music work, make a stew to feed up on over the next few days, and question the futility of existence

Happy Saturday!

DebtFreeDuo

Good idea to seperate your lists I think, go and book those bus tickets, then you won't have to worry about those and you won't have to think about him not booking them for you. Small steps each day and you will smash your December to do list.

ladymay

I actually booked the train - less than half the time and cheaper for some reason! Just need to book the shuttle bus from the airport to the train station and that's my Christmas travel set

I'm feeling pretty miserable and just want to hide away, but I'm looking forward to my gig today. It's one of my regular nursing homes' Christmas party and it'll be the last time I see everyone there so I'll be a blubbering wreck by the end I think!