Birthday celebrations - paying for own meal

Bogof_Babe

What do the other friends who have been invited think? Or don't you discuss such things?

I would have a forehead slapping moment and suddenly remember a prior engagement. Something you really can't get out of.

The proposed meal doesn't sound like a load of laughs anyway. No proper chips??? :eek:

Pollycat

iammumtoone wrote: »

I like to be told what to get as I would much rather buy something wanted than something that would be put in a drawer and forgotten about.

Maybe it's because I only buy gifts for people I know really well so instinctively know what they would appreciate.

NeilCr

74jax wrote: »

If it was my friend I'd go as it's her birthday, her choice and I'd want to spend it with her. I

This.

Over the years I’ve done things with friends that I wasn’t keen on. Likewise, I am sure I have dragged them off to do something/somewhere that wasn’t their cup of tea. Part of the whole friendship thing.

To me being asked to their “special” days has been an honour even if it’s been at a place I didn’t fancy or was, in my view, pricey for what you got.

It’s your friend and her day. Unless you can’t afford it or she is just an acquaintance I’d say go

As for the presents - that’s not the sort of thing that my circle do. But, as others have said, they don’t seem OTT and I’m always happy to adopt a hedgehog if nothing else!

Red-Squirrel_2

If she's said she wants to 'host' that normally means paying doesn't it? Are you sure you'll definitely be expected to pay for your meal?

maman

My first thought was that it's a really carp menu so can't be much of a venue.

Now I know she's chosen it I'm wondering about her taste. Then having a tattoo for her 50th birthday confirmed it. It's tacky IMO.

So it wouldn't be my idea of an evening out but that's not the point. She's your friend. If you want to help celebrate the birthday in a way that will please her then you'll have to just grin and bear it.

If you aren't that worried about not going, then just make an excuse or tell her why but it could sour the relationship.

pearl123

Jellyb wrote: »

My friend is planning her birthday celebrations. (50 at the start of the year.) She said she would like to go to a restaurant hotel with a private room/space where she could host a meal.
This sounded great until I heard the price - £40 a head. This sounds fine until I read the menu choices - very basic starters, desserts and the mains - macaroni cheese, chicken and mushroom pasta, gammon steak or a burger.
Am I being unreasonable - to me this sounds expensive especially when I took the prices from their menu and to have the most expensive starter, main and dessert, large wine, soft drink and a coffee and it would still come to less than £40
I don't want to be a wet blanket - but when you include drinks, coffee and taxi home - it turns out to be an expensive deal.
p.s. 'Guests' have also been told what she would like for a present.

If this were my friend my first response would be "to hell with that". To pay so much, I'd expect it to be a really super restaurant.
I wouldn't pay out, especially for something that sounds so unimpressive. It's too much money IMHO.

I also think it's rather distasteful that she presumes there will be gifts.
If she had manners she would not be mentioning gifts at all.

JIL

My daughter works in a hotel as an events planner and they hire private areas and have specialised menus, however it's much better food than what you are being offered. The cost is also lower. The hotel make their money on the drinks, but the price per head can be increased with extras such as specific table decorations, cake, candles etc.
Maybe there is something you are not being told?

However if she is a close friend you have a decision to make, perhaps sooner rather than later as events like these usually want the money up front.

I really don't enjoy events like these as it's so difficult to please everyone. A few drinks and a paid for by me tapas buffet at my local and a come if you want to suited me, I also asked people not to buy gifts. I can't be doing with all the fuss.

Marvel1

I dislike set menus but for that price blimey i would expect at least a decent steak cut as part of that mains!

PasturesNew

I'm sorry .... I can't make that night, I won't know until the very last minute as things might change... so keep me informed, but don't put me down as coming! If I can make it at the last minute and "missed out" then that's the way things are....

That gives you the ability to slide into the event if it all changes and the venue becomes affordable/good value.

I did that once... super posh place 'planned'; I was "out of the equation" right from the very second it was mentioned .... roll on 3 months and it ended up as a local pub meal and miraculously, at the last minute, my diary cleared and I could make it!

SingleSue

The sweet potato fries would be the decider for me, can't stand them!