Birthday celebrations - paying for own meal

maman

heartbreak_star wrote: »

Unsure if it's a Northern thing, but whenever I've gone out for a friend's birthday we always pay for our own food...

HBS x

No. not northern at all. I'm in the South and that's what we do here mostly when a group of friends go out whether for a birthday or otherwise.


The times it wouldn't happen was if a friend decided herself to throw a party, hire a room and invite people along. I've known that for a big birthday. It's a bit like being invited to a wedding.

System

I admit me and my friend are going out for food for our birthdays, but we chose an all you can eat restaurant and its £15 for each person. Seems reasonable to me as there is something for everyone and its a set price. Everyone will be paying for themselves. Would never dream of asking people to chip in for a present though.

NeilCr

FBaby wrote: »

But that's the point you enjoy yourself, so it's not just about making the birthday person happy, it's also about paying to have fun.

I personally don't enjoy these kinds of gathering, actually quite dread them, so that would be £40 to do something I don't want to do. I would do it for someone I'm closed to, not for someone who isn't.

A big part of us enjoying ourselves is making sure that the others in our group (especially the person who’s do it is) are having a good time as well. It’s what we do.

Personally, I think it’s a shame that a number of posters on here seem more concerned with how things impact on them as opposed to others.

NeilCr

Izadora wrote: »

I have had some truly horrendous, and majorly overpriced, meals over the years but it doesn't really matter because it's not like bad food stops me celebrating a friend's birthday.

This, absolutely, this.

One of my very good friends has an unpopular partner. She invited a few of us (including one of my close friends and me) to her 50th. It wasn’t something we fancied, the restaurant was overpriced and we had to put up with said partner

But we turned up and we all made sure she had a night to remember. Because she’s our friend.

Mind you I nearly had to drag my lovely female friend off the partner when he announced that he was choosing the wine as he knew best!

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Quizzical_Squirrel wrote: »

And why is no-one sponsoring their squirrels instead?
Ruddy hedgehogs.

The ginger gits ask too many questions...

Pollycat

NeilCr wrote: »

Personally, I think it’s a shame that a number of posters on here seem more concerned with how things impact on them as opposed to others.

At our age, I think me & OH have earned the right to please ourselves.

We don't like parties or weddings.
We like to do our own thing.
We have a very small family and are close.
That's probably why I don't 'get' these wedding dilemmas where cousins and Great Aunt Agatha have to be invited even though the bride or groom haven't seen them for 15 years.

I'm happy if that's not how others do it but don't expect me to feel the same as you.

NeilCr

Pollycat wrote: »

At our age, I think me & OH have earned the right to please ourselves.

We don't like parties or weddings.
We like to do our own thing.
We have a very small family and are close.
That's probably why I don't 'get' these wedding dilemmas where cousins and Great Aunt Agatha have to be invited even though the bride or groom haven't seen them for 15 years.

I'm happy if that's not how others do it but don't expect me to feel the same as you.

At my advanced age I think me and my OH understand that there are times when it’s nice to think of others as well as ourselves.

We like to do our own thing
We like being out and about with our friends
I have no family at all. My OH has a large family. Although I’m not sure of the relevance here
This isn’t a big “wedding dilemma” where cousin and Great Aunt whoever has to be asked (and I agree with you on that). It’s about a special day for a friend who has invited the OP (some time in advance so they can save up) to attend

I don’t expect you to feel the same as me. I just think it’s a shame that people don’t seem able to make the effort to help a friend enjoy themselves once in a while

Pollycat

NeilCr wrote: »

At my advanced age I think me and my OH understand that there are times when it’s nice to think of others as well as ourselves.

We like to do our own thing
We like being out and about with our friends
I have no family at all. My OH has a large family. Although I’m not sure of the relevance here
This isn’t a big “wedding dilemma” where cousin and Great Aunt whoever has to be asked (and I agree with you on that). It’s about a special day for a friend who has invited the OP (some time in advance so they can save up) to attend

I don’t expect you to feel the same as me. I just think it’s a shame that people don’t seem able to make the effort to help a friend enjoy themselves once in a while

I'm all for helping a friend enjoy themselves.

But not when it involves an over-priced meal with a crappy menu and a 'you can contribute to this or that gift' stipulation.

NeilCr

Pollycat wrote: »

I'm all for helping a friend enjoy themselves.

But not when it involves an over-priced meal with a crappy menu and a 'you can contribute to this or that gift' stipulation.

Food may be amazing. I didn’t get there was a stipulation you had to give a present. And, even if there is, we aren’t talking huge amounts.

But, secondary to the point. For us it’s about the other person - not us. For others it is clearly different. Which is fine. As you say don’t expect me to feel the same as you

Pollycat

NeilCr wrote: »

Food may be amazing.

It really sounds amazing. :rotfl:

Jellyb wrote: »

This sounds fine until I read the menu choices - very basic starters, desserts and the mains - macaroni cheese, chicken and mushroom pasta, gammon steak or a burger.

I'm with the OP on the menu choices.
Especially about the sweet potato fries.