Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally

[Deleted User]

HairyHandofDartmoor wrote: »

I don't think I could manage without doing a daily wash as the laundry baskets are full all the time otherwise. I think I'd rather have no heating than smelly clothes :rotfl:. But using the quicker wash will save money I'm sure.

I just have to ask, HH, and please forgive me if this seems rude or intrusive:o. Could I ask why your laundry baskets are always full? I assume no one in your household does manual work or has a hectic social life where they need clothes changes all the time. I can't see, given that, that even with 4 of you, there's washing to do every day.


I think you once mentioned one of your sons having 2 long showers every day. He can't be dirty and could use a towel more than once and it shouldn't need washing every day. Constant fresh towels are OK for smart hotels not for home:rotfl:. If manual work isn't being done the clothes can't really be smelly if showers are taken and deodorant used. Is that showerer the same person that wastes all the loo roll? In both cases I really would recommend you have a word with him. I also felt so sorry for you having to do such major bedroom cleaning when your son went to Uni. I expect he's bucked up his cleanliness levels no end since he's been looking after himself and I honestly think it does people no favours at all to indulge them at home.

[Deleted User]

I'm so sorry of the post above has upset you, it's the last thing I would ever want to do as you are such a lovely person who cares deeply for the family and wants to do so much for them. Please forgive me. I'm not deleting the post though as I feel it contains things that need to be said. We're all friends on here after all.


Thinking of you and sending hugs on such a significant day for you:kisses3:

HairyHandofDartmoor

I'm not offended Carboot .

Young men do get a bit smelly as they sweat a lot, and go running, train with weights etc. Also DS2 has various issues, one of which is OCD. He genuinely could not bear to shower without a clean towel and would just stop showering, which would be bad for his mental health.

DS3 has one long shower every day not two. With everyone having a daily shower, four-five pairs of jeans will be one machine load, so will five towels, five jumpers or hoodies are one machine load, changing the bedding once a week is one machine load, all of our tee shirts can be a machine load as we wear layers because it's cold.

So even if I wash jeans once a week, towels once a week, jumpers once a week, tee shirts once a week, bedding once a week, etc, with five people that equates to one machine load per day as five pairs of jeans will fill up a washing machine. Do you see what I mean?

I think in a four to five person household it's normal to run the washing machine once a day, but other people with big families can correct me if I'm wrong. I'm not a clean freak, I just have normal standards of cleanliness .

With regard to toilet roll, DS2 did waste it a bit, although he's got a bit better now. His mental health issues mean that we prefer to correct him over more important issues and 'don't sweat the small stuff'. I buy value toilet roll so it's not very thick and we use it for blowing noses too (can't afford boxes of tissues so we can't be posh in this house ).

HairyHandofDartmoor

Nicnak wrote: »

The jobs would be advertised on the council website. They have a vacancy section and school jobs would be advertised there.

If an individual decides to control their own spending, they could advertise it anywhere really. x

Thanks Nicnak.

[Deleted User]

HairyHandofDartmoor wrote: »

I'm not offended Carboot .

Young men do get a bit smelly as they sweat a lot, and go running, train with weights etc. Also DS2 has various issues, one of which is OCD. He genuinely could not bear to shower without a clean towel and would just stop showering, which would be bad for his mental health.

DS3 has one long shower every day not two. With everyone having a daily shower, four-five pairs of jeans will be one machine load, so will five towels, five jumpers or hoodies are one machine load, changing the bedding once a week is one machine load, all of our tee shirts can be a machine load as we wear layers because it's cold.

So even if I wash jeans once a week, towels once a week, jumpers once a week, tee shirts once a week, bedding once a week, etc, with five people that equates to one machine load per day as five pairs of jeans will fill up a washing machine. Do you see what I mean?

I think in a four to five person household it's normal to run the washing machine once a day, but other people with big families can correct me if I'm wrong. I'm not a clean freak, I just have normal standards of cleanliness .

With regard to toilet roll, DS2 did waste it a bit, although he's got a bit better now. His mental health issues mean that we prefer to correct him over more important issues and 'don't sweat the small stuff'. I buy value toilet roll so it's not very thick and we use it for blowing noses too (can't afford boxes of tissues so we can't be posh in this house ).

Thanks for going to the trouble to explain:T. I'm glad we're still friends:)


I hadn't realised how serious your boys' mental health issues were. I also had no idea they did physical activities like weight training and running. I don't know why but I always imagined them being at home in their rooms most of the time. Sorry if I was insensitive:o


One wash a day certainly isn't excessive, I thought you were running your machine more often than that. In the old days, when I was a young child, I remember washing day on a Monday (which seemed traditional for most people way back then) being an all-day process with lots of loads being done on the same day. Same as once a day now really. Except my Mum didn't have a washing machine until about 1956 and I bet Mondays were an ordeal getting it all washed and dried. There was bedding for 4 beds, towels, clothes, goodness knows what else. I know she didn't have the time to cook anything for our evening meal, it was always cold meat left over from the Sunday roast, left-over potatoes (she always cooked loads on Sunday) fried up and home made pickled red cabbage and maybe half a tomato.


I'm with you on the loo roll used a hankies:T. We've always done it, much more sensible really and definitely MSE:j. I don't buy the very cheapest as it's too thin for loo roll and I tend to overuse it by doubling it over:o (too much information eh?:rotfl:) but neither would I buy the expensive thick type even if I could afford it as, like you say, it's no use for blowing noses. I once made the mistake of trying out some fragranced loo roll when on introductory offer. Made us sneeze like crazy if we used it to blow our noses on:eek:


I'm sure now you've started using a shorter wash cycle you'll find your electricity consumption will come down noticeably. Let's hope so:beer:. When I had to replace my dead washing machine last year I was surprised that they are all just cold-fill now as we usually have hot water available anyway and I worried about the water in the machine, especially if I did a 'hot' wash which I do occasionally, costing a fortune to heat up from cold. Someone told me that even the hot&cold fill ones only took in a small amount of hot water and still had to heat up the mixture to temperature anyway so I don't suppose a cold fill one costs any more to run, given it's probably much more energy-efficient than my 10 year old one.

[Deleted User]

Just spotted this on my meanderings through MSE. Lots of links to money saving and money making ideas in post #2. Not sure how useful they'll be, I haven't had the time to follow many of the links but I hope the list might be useful to you HH and anyone else who's in need of inspiration:beer:

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/5919537/what-small-dfw-things-will-you-do-w-c-5th-november

HairyHandofDartmoor

carbootcrazy wrote: »

Thanks for going to the trouble to explain:T. I'm glad we're still friends:)


I hadn't realised how serious your boys' mental health issues were. I also had no idea they did physical activities like weight training and running. I don't know why but I always imagined them being at home in their rooms most of the time. Sorry if I was being insensitive.

Of course we're still friends Carboot . You're such a lovely person that I'd never be cross with you . You're not being insensitive at all.

DS3 is a perfectly normal 21 year old (gets anxious occasionally but who doesn't).

DS2 had more serious problems and was very tricky to deal with a few years ago, But is much better now and really making an effort to be friendly to us. He has his funny little ways, but we humour him as we know he can't help it. He is working hard and earning money, goes running every day (in the dark :eek:) and lifts weights in his room. So we're very proud of how he's coping.

DS1 has issues, but has always been a delight to deal with. He is waiting for assessment for ADHD and has other issues. But we're hoping successful diagnosis and treatment will enable him to earn a living in time.

They are lovely children, if a little non standard , and we are very proud of them .

[Deleted User]

HairyHandofDartmoor wrote: »

Of course we're still friends Carboot . You're such a lovely person that I'd never be cross with you . You're not being insensitive at all.

DS3 is a perfectly normal 21 year old (gets anxious occasionally but who doesn't).

DS2 had more serious problems and was very tricky to deal with a few years ago, But is much better now and really making an effort to be friendly to us. He has his funny little ways, but we humour him as we know he can't help it. He is working hard and earning money, goes running every day (in the dark :eek:) and lifts weights in his room. So we're very proud of how he's coping.

DS1 has issues, but has always been a delight to deal with. He is waiting for assessment for ADHD and has other issues. But we're hoping successful diagnosis and treatment will enable him to earn a living in time.

They are lovely children, if a little non standard , and we are very proud of them .

I'm not surprised you're proud of them, HH, and it sounds as if you and DH are really sensitive to their individual needs.

Also, to add to how much DS2 has progressed, he went to USA (twice wasn't it?) on his own and then to Spain for quite a while. They're massive achievements:T

I hope DH1 gets his assessment soon, it must seem like forever waiting for these things.

HairyHandofDartmoor

carbootcrazy wrote: »

I'm not surprised you're proud of them, HH, and it sounds as if you and DH are really sensitive to their individual needs.

Also, to add to how much DS2 has progressed, he went to USA (twice wasn't it?) on his own and then to Spain for quite a while. They're massive achievements:T

I hope DH1 gets his assessment soon, it must seem like forever waiting for these things.

Yes DS2 went to New Orleans alone twice, and went to Iceland too with DS3 and was in Spain all alone for eight weeks. He is much braver than I am .

It does seem to take forever for assessments but at least DS1 on the waiting list now.

HairyHandofDartmoor

It would have been my mum's 82nd birthday today .

We were going to go to a NT place to distract us, but stepdad is too upset to go and wants to be home alone, the NT house we were thinking of going to is closed for the winter, and it's raining heavily .

So instead we've decided to go to a large garden centre with aunt and uncle. Not what we planned but better than nothing. The garden centre will have a big Christmas shop to look at and lots of other things, and has a nice restaurant. We'll eat lunch at home to save money and then meet aunt and uncle there for coffee.

Tonight we're all going to my niece's house for dinner and stepdad says he can face going there.