Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally

in_need_of_direction

Hhod, since may you are legally entitled to have any automated decision reviewed by a human so def taking EE's advice. Also, I love how, despite the stories you have read on here, you assume everyone can afford to go to weddings, etc. you don't know how they are paying for it!
You made a sensible decision based on the needs of the family members who matter most to you. I know it seems tough but you were future proofing. You're currently struggling but do you ever think how much harder it would have been if you hadn't been debt free.
Hang in there for the long term benefits to become apparent.

HairyHandofDartmoor

elizabethhull wrote: »

The walk sounds lovely.

If you can't have a moan on your own diary, when can you ? You need to feel free to express what you're feeling, and your 'moans' sound entirely reasonable. Sometimes you just can't do the 'there are others worse off' thing. You have come so far and yet this year has been pretty !!!!!! (sorry) for you. Come and moan as much as you like - we're all big girls, we understand.

carbootcrazy wrote: »

I hope you have a better week, HH, now the wedding is out of the way.


Good idea of Eager_Elephant to phone NPower. Not easy to do but maybe biting the bullet this once will be helpful in the long term. They'll hopefully be understanding. After all, you can't pay money that you don't have. I think there's much more pressure on companies these days to treat people in difficulties fairly.

Good luck:beer:


As for your worry that you moan too much, I second what elizabethhull said earlier. Your moans (and they aren't moans at all IMO) are entirely reasonable and it's your diary so you can say whatever you want on it. We're all here for you, we'll keep reading and posting whatever you might have to say, so please don't worry:kisses3:. As the old BT ad used to tell us, 'it's good to talk'. Talking to us on here is often a lot easier than opening up to people closest to you in real life. It's not healthy to bottle things up.

Thank you for your lovely comments . Without the support I get on here my life would be much harder.

jwil

I'm with you on the lack of money to do things. However, when we do manage to do things, we know they are paid for completely. You never know the situations of those who apparently can afford everything.

HairyHandofDartmoor

Eager_Elephant wrote: »

HHOD - I think you should call Npower today, I know you are behind with your payments but if you call and explain the situation they should restart your arrangement and then you don't have to make up the missed payments and that would be one less stress for you.

The letter you got about your payments increasing so much are computer generated, the computer works out your usage and then if you have debt it wants it cleared in 12 months whereas when a human does it they can spread it over 24mths or even longer if you are in financial difficulty.

in_need_of_direction wrote: »

Hhod, since may you are legally entitled to have any automated decision reviewed by a human so def taking EE's advice. Also, I love how, despite the stories you have read on here, you assume everyone can afford to go to weddings, etc. you don't know how they are paying for it!
You made a sensible decision based on the needs of the family members who matter most to you. I know it seems tough but you were future proofing. You're currently struggling but do you ever think how much harder it would have been if you hadn't been debt free.
Hang in there for the long term benefits to become apparent.

Thank you both. I will ring NPow3r and ask them to lower the payments. I'll suggest I give them weekly meter readings so that they can see exactly how much energy we are using. We haven't put the heating on yet despite my weather app saying it's 4 degrees in my area today. I haven't used the tumbler either since our payments got raised and DS3 has been gone a month so surely that must be making a difference. He used to have his light and laptop on all day.

You're right INOD things would be a lot worse if we still had massive debts hanging over us.

HairyHandofDartmoor

jwil wrote: »

I'm with you on the lack of money to do things. However, when we do manage to do things, we know they are paid for completely. You never know the situations of those who apparently can afford everything.

Some people may be racking up debt to keep up their lifestyle, but my nephew earns 100k in London, and lots of people in my family have big salaries or good pensions so they genuinely can afford it.

It is a relief for us not to be paying for it all on plastic though like we used to.

[Deleted User]

HairyHandofDartmoor wrote: »

Some people may be racking up debt to keep up their lifestyle, but my nephew earns 100k in London, and lots of people in my family have big salaries or good pensions so they genuinely can afford it.

It is a relief for us not to be paying for it all on plastic though like we used to.

It's good to hear that family members have the wherewithal to pay for everything they want but please don't compare your situation to theirs. They are possibly working very long hours for someone else. You and OH are your own bosses and although that can be a mixed blessing, especially when people are such tardy payers for work done for them:mad:, you are no one's slaves. That's a big bonus in itself.


I also bet that a lot of people who have a seemingly enviable lifestyle (not your relatives who obviously are doing well anyway) rely on plastic to fund it and would be truly shocked if they totted up just how much in debt they actually are. I know when I first realised and acknowledged the full extent of my debts before I asked for help and started a DMP I was so shocked I felt physically sick:eek:. I thought I was going to pass out.


I still have a way to go before I'm debt free, but the end is in sight now and I can't wait for that magical day when I know that I don't owe a penny to anyone. You and DH are ahead of me, you've already reached that milestone:T and are now dealing with the early stages of the rest of your lives. It's bound to be hard, you're starting with no backup funds to cope with life's emergencies but you are free of debt and you should feel so proud of yourselves for getting there:j:beer:

beanielou

It's your party & cry if you want to.
The late Kirsty Mccoll sang this & it is so apt.

redofromstart

elizabethhull wrote: »

We've also succumbed to the winter duvet (a 9), but I toss & turn so much during the night that DH frequently wakes up with it barely covering him. Anyone any ideas how this can be rectified ?.

We do the two duvet thing, not least because I do night flushes and he flaps around a lot which wakes me up. He has a 13.5 tog double, and I have a much thinner double of my own. Quite common in Scandinavian countries apparently.

Many apologies to anyone else I may have inadvertently led astray with my cashmere obsession

HHOD most people I know on good salaries fund it all on plastic. Its when someone loses their job that the whole house of cards tumbles down sadly. OH tells me about well paid people in his office, all with huge car finance and massive mortgages who moan about money and then spend £7 on lunch every day.

HairyHandofDartmoor

carbootcrazy wrote: »

It's good to hear that family members have the wherewithal to pay for everything they want but please don't compare your situation to theirs. They are possibly working very long hours for someone else. You and OH are your own bosses and although that can be a mixed blessing, especially when people are such tardy payers for work done for them:mad:, you are no one's slaves. That's a big bonus in itself.


I also bet that a lot of people who have a seemingly enviable lifestyle (not your relatives who obviously are doing well anyway) rely on plastic to fund it and would be truly shocked if they totted up just how much in debt they actually are. I know when I first realised and acknowledged the full extent of my debts before I asked for help and started a DMP I was so shocked I felt physically sick:eek:. I thought I was going to pass out.


I still have a way to go before I'm debt free, but the end is in sight now and I can't wait for that magical day when I know that I don't owe a penny to anyone. You and DH are ahead of me, you've already reached that milestone:T and are now dealing with the early stages of the rest of your lives. It's bound to be hard, you're starting with no backup funds to cope with life's emergencies but you are free of debt and you should feel so proud of yourselves for getting there:j:beer:

Often I wish I did work for someone, just to have regular money coming in, but I know we're lucky not to have a long commute or awkward bosses to cope with.

I hope you're debt free really soon Carboot .

HairyHandofDartmoor

beanielou wrote: »

It's your party & cry if you want to.
The late Kirsty Mccoll sang this & it is so apt.

redofromstart wrote: »

We do the two duvet thing, not least because I do night flushes and he flaps around a lot which wakes me up. He has a 13.5 tog double, and I have a much thinner double of my own. Quite common in Scandinavian countries apparently.

Many apologies to anyone else I may have inadvertently led astray with my cashmere obsession

HHOD most people I know on good salaries fund it all on plastic. Its when someone loses their job that the whole house of cards tumbles down sadly. OH tells me about well paid people in his office, all with huge car finance and massive mortgages who moan about money and then spend £7 on lunch every day.

I suppose you never really know the state of someone else's finances, and sometimes the bigger the salary the more expensive the tastes, and sometimes nothing is good enough for people like that.

I know DH and are very easily pleased and are happy with a much simpler lifestyle than many people.