Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally

HairyHandofDartmoor

I enjoyed my meal last night. The food was lovely and it wasn't too spendy an evening. My bill came to £19.75 and that included one starter which we shared, my main course, coffee, and a bottle of wine that we shared. No one wanted dessert which I was quite pleased about as it saved money and calories . I need to pop an envelope with a fiver in through my friend's door today though, because I didn't have any change for the tip or to give her towards parking.

It was good to catch up with their news, but sometimes it's a bit depressing because they all have a lot more money than me . Two of them have paid off their mortgages and none of them have debts (as far as I know), they all have good pensions for when they retire. One of them is paying for two of her children's accommodation at uni, and one of them is saving £500 a month into a savings account.

I feel like DH and I have really messed up our finances compared with them . I know we are debt free which I'm very thankful for, but we have ten years to go on our mortgage, no pensions and no savings. And I was the oldest one there at 54 .

On the other hand the two that had no mortgage seemed a bit unhappy with their relationship with their husbands, and it reinforced to me that I am happy with DH but that we need to sort our money out. It just goes to show that you shouldn't compare yourself to other people.

HairyHandofDartmoor

I didn't sleep very well because I had to get up four times to go to the bathroom :mad: (this is why I stay off alcohol midweek) and I had a backache . The backache was from leaning over children's desks on Thursday and compounded by lifting plant pots yesterday. I've put some Deep Heat on it this morning which always helps. It's my own fault for not doing yoga, ten minutes a day is all it would take to strengthen my back :mad:.

After lunch today we're going to go to a nearby NT place for a short walk and have coffee in the cafe, and then go straight to my parents for dinner. A perfect day . The weather is overcast but at least it's not raining (yet).

Have a great Sunday everyone

redofromstart

Glad you had an enjoyable evening but don't be beating yourself up by comparisons. People talk and project about savings, security, etc but I don't know that many people who genuinely don't have consumer debt, a mortgage, or whatever. Most of the ones I do know have inherited it, or have been lucky. if I had to choose, I'd rather be happy.

beanielou

I try really hard not to do the comparison thing as like you it makes me sad.Also TBH I do actually think that I do ok in the great scheme of things.

HairyHandofDartmoor

redofromstart wrote: »

Glad you had an enjoyable evening but don't be beating yourself up by comparisons. People talk and project about savings, security, etc but I don't know that many people who genuinely don't have consumer debt, a mortgage, or whatever. Most of the ones I do know have inherited it, or have been lucky. if I had to choose, I'd rather be happy.

beanielou wrote: »

I try really hard not to do the comparison thing as like you it makes me sad.Also TBH I do actually think that I do ok in the great scheme of things.

I know I shouldn't compare and maybe some of them do have consumer debts that they haven't mentioned. But it's incentive for DH and I to raise our game anyway.

I know we're lucky to be consumer debt free and to live in a nice house in a good neighbourhood .

HairyHandofDartmoor

I've just remembered, last night one of my friends said their wine bill is £40 a week (there's only the two of them because the kids are at uni) :eek::eek::rotfl:

Sun_Addict

Glad you had a fab time. It's best not to compare your situation to others but sometimes you can't help it. I tend to do it when I hear stories of others doing stuff that I'd like to do but can't because of Mr SA. I try to focus on what I can do. The main thing is that you're happy and that's worth more than any amount of money.

I'm glad Mr SA doesn't drink wine as my wine bill would be like your friend's!!!

HairyHandofDartmoor

You're right SA being happy is the most important thing and I find that simple things can give a lot of pleasure .

[Deleted User]

HairyHandofDartmoor wrote: »

You're right SA being happy is the most important thing and I find that simple things can give a lot of pleasure .

Couldn't agree more. Plus being blessed by good health which is priceless.


You have so much to be happy about, including a lovely close family (parents, sister etc not just your own children). You mentioned that a couple of your friends have less than satisfactory relationships (I could write a book of my own experiences on that subject:(:o) and I'll bet there are other things in their lives that are less than perfect.


Each Christmas I get a three 'round robin' letters from old University friends. You know the sort of thing, a digest of their and their family's doings for the previous year. To be honest I dread reading them:o because they're chockfull of wonderful holidays to exotic places, expensive-sounding social lives, new cars,amazing career and sporting achievements of their children and now grandchildren too, and all sorts of other things. They sometimes 'threaten' to come and visit and I manage to put them off with what must seem like very far-fetched excuses. I'd die of embarrassment if they could see how I live nowadays:o


My glum mood soon dissipates though as I'm a glass half full type of person and I'm genuinely happy for the good things that life has sent my way. I'm in brilliant health for my age with no aches and pains or medications needed and although I haven't the money to do everything they all seem to do at least I could if I had and wanted to. Two of these friends have had major operations or their husbands have health problems, one friend is awaiting a new hip (as a result of playing golf she thinks). It's not a case of waiting for a national health op like most of us mere mortals, they have private medical insurance, but she had problems fitting it in to their crowded diary:rotfl:. She and her husband spend a lot of time at the golf club, rubbing shoulders with the movers and shakers in their corner of Cheshire. That's something I wouldn't want to do even if I could and it's not sour grapes talking;).


Enjoy your lovely-sounding day with DH and then your meal at your parents home. I hope the sun shines for you on your walk:beer:

please-let-me-be-lucky

Glad you had a nice night with your friends, but don’t let comparing yourself to them get you down. People only tell you the bits they want you to hear Xx