Money Moral Dilemma: How much should we charge our daughter for living with us?

svain

Pollycat wrote: »

There is no indication in the original post that this is the case.

No there isnt ... i was just highlighting the exception i would consider

AmethystEmerald

When I lived at home I had to pay my parents a third of my net take home pay (including any overtime). My children when they live at home pay a set monthly amount which we have agreed on together. They know where the door is if they don't like it!

Pollycat

There's a new thread from a poster who's asked her daughter - earning £21k pa - to pay £250 pcm board.
Daughter is not happy.

Where do these adult children get such a sense of entitlement from?

donny_jim

I think on her wages £100p.w. Is reasonable, you have to tell her it's time she paid her way, what was she paying before she came back home. Include rent,gas,electric,food and weekly household items. Then you could halve it or recommend say £100p.w. Then you could save any surplus to give back to her the day she leaves. Charge too little and she will probably never leave.

Ricky.skingsley

To me this is fairly simple. If she uses something she pays for it. So split things like the utilities equally. If she wants food she pays her share. If she wants TV she pays her share.

But the mortgage is not hers, she does not get equity in the house each month so that should not be split. But she does use a bedroom, so depending on the size I'd charge about £100 per month for it (growing up my sister used to pay less than me as her room was considerably smaller). Sky multi room is £10 per month so if she wants that then she pays that.

If she wants you to wash iron etc then that is extra. Break it down and it's up to her what she want to pay. If she helps around the house areas that are not hers (cooking, ironing, cleaning etc) then she could be offered discounts. Her room is hers to clean so nothing special for that.

The benefit of this is it is cheaper than moving out. If she wants it even cheaper she knows what she has to do. Also she has to be treated like an equal in the house. So if she wants to bring home boyfriends etc then she is welcome to do so as she is paying as an equal she should be able to use the home as an equal.

Basically sit down like adults and come up with an agreement. Let her make suggestions. Find out what she thinks is fair.

I used to also take my monthly cost, multiply it by 12, divide it 10 and was always ahead of what I owed my parents. This meant I didn't pay anything in November or December so I had a bit extra to help with Christmas.

All of this helped me learn the value of what I have, how much it cost to get things done for me and how much more I could have if I worked a bit harder.

Good luck and I hope you come up with a good compromise.

Nornor

Wow! I've read a lot of these messages. I'm a single parent on a low income. I live in London and believe me the cost of living is high. I have 3 children 2 of them live at home. My daughter knows she couldn't afford to live in the city on her own. They pay me £350 per month that is rent and utilities. They understand that is the difference of their mother struggling and going into debt and keeping the roof over our head (council property).

Aaw

As a parent earning under £20,000 before tax, with a daughter living at home also earning under £20,000 I could not manage without her contribution. She takes her travel cost to work out of her monthly wages and gives me a third of what's left. Apart from heating, all my outgoings are increased by having her home. She still manages to save about 20% of her wages. She understands the value of money and I have never once had to ask her for her 'board'. She has no debts, pays off her credit card monthly and wouldn't dream of anyone being out of pocket on her behalf. Valuable lessons to teach our children on life.

peachyprice

Nornor wrote: »

Wow! I've read a lot of these messages. I'm a single parent on a low income. I live in London and believe me the cost of living is high. I have 3 children 2 of them live at home. My daughter knows she couldn't afford to live in the city on her own. They pay me £350 per month that is rent and utilities. They understand that is the difference of their mother struggling and going into debt and keeping the roof over our head (council property).

So how are you going to afford to live when they do leave home? Because 2 adult children living at home sure as hell don't cost £350 a month.

Ebenezer_Screwj

Did you invite her to stay with you after she returned, or did she just invite herself? It's a colossal cheek if she did and you should tell her to make alternative arrangements without delay.