Money Moral Dilemma: How much should we charge our daughter for living with us?

svain

I dont think anyone would begrudge anyone for a contribution to the food budget (assuming they arent buying their own) or a little to help with utilities. If someone is relying on children income to keep roof over their head then this is a much bigger problem. That aside, i think there is a big difference to the above to what some people are charging ... circa £500 is just greed. Taking all their wages and giving back pocket money is an insult and borders on extortion.

Pollycat

svain wrote: »

I dont think anyone would begrudge anyone for a contribution to the food budget (assuming they arent buying their own) or a little to help with utilities. If someone is relying on children income to keep roof over their head then this is a much bigger problem. That aside, i think there is a big difference to the above to what some people are charging ... circa £500 is just greed. Taking all their wages and giving back pocket money is an insult and borders on extortion.

All the OP wants is a regular contribution to the increased costs of their daughter living with them

The daughter apparently 'is not keen' on that.

svain

Pollycat wrote: »

All the OP wants is a regular contribution to the increased costs of their daughter living with them

The daughter apparently 'is not keen' on that.

If its a reasonable and realistic (in terms of actual extra cost incurred) amount requested that just covers the extra cost and not a profit making scheme i would sit my daughter down and calmly insist these are the terms.

I would estimate about £40 a week will cover most, if not all, with daughter paying for any extra shopping/toiletries/sky tv etc herself over and above the family meals. I would then leave the daughter the choice as to whether she would still like to return home.

Pollycat

svain wrote: »

If its a reasonable and realistic (in terms of actual extra cost incurred) amount requested that just covers the extra cost and not a profit making scheme i would sit my daughter down and calmly insist these are the terms.

I would estimate about £40 a week will cover most, if not all, with daughter paying for any extra shopping/toiletries etc herself over and above the family meals. I would then leave the daughter the choice as to whether she would still like to return home.

Not knowing any more than was imparted in the original post, I guess we have to trust the OP (with the MMD) when they say 'additional costs'.
Maybe they've tried to sit their daughter down (as you say you would) and that's where the 'she is not keen' came from

At that point would you still allow your daughter to move back home?

svain

Pollycat wrote: »

Not knowing any more than was imparted in the original post, I guess we have to trust the OP (with the MMD) when they say 'additional costs'.
Maybe they've tried to sit their daughter down (as you say you would) and that's where the 'she is not keen' came from

At that point would you still allow your daughter to move back home?

On the face of it, and because she is earning circa £25k .... If she didnt agree then i would NOT let her move back .... however if i felt she was vulnerable or state of mind was in question then i may agree, but ONLY on a short term basis until she was back on her feet.

jelboygrit

Life isn't free so there has to be a cost. In an ideal world your daughter would have already offered to pay something, but as she hasn't OR is not keen to do so then YOU have to step up. You'll be doing her NO favours letting her live for 'free' especially when the day comes and she doesn't have her parents (you) to rely on anymore. It's not at all unreasonable to ask for £200-£300 per month as that's what it will be costing you in food, gas/electricity, water, clothes being washed etc. etc. etc. If she doesn't like this option, let her know with no uncertainty what the alternative costs to her would be if she was living on her own again AND how much better off she still is at home with you !!

KILL_BILL

she takes home roughly £1600 per month after tax and still wants to live at home

considering her income and what she would have to pay to live on her own or have a house share £125.00 per week inclusive is very reasonable.

a few years ago i rented my own one bed place in central south london and my take home pay was £1400.00. i had to pay rent which was £800.00 per month and bills and cut costs on going out or holidays

so should she !

Pollycat

svain wrote: »

On the face of it, and because she is earning circa £25k .... If she didnt agree then i would NOT let her move back .... however if i felt she was vulnerable or state of mind was in question then i may agree, but ONLY on a short term basis until she was back on her feet.

There is no indication in the original post that this is the case.

david24morgan

My suggestion would be that as it is vital that she is realistic about the cost of living that you charge her what it would cost to rent a shared place and feed herself. However, you tell her that you will give it all back to her when she leaves to buy her own property (maybe less a small charge for the actual increased costs if you feel that is necessary.)
This way she gets used to the costs of real life but also prepares to be independent.

Pollycat

david24morgan wrote: »

My suggestion would be that as it is vital that she is realistic about the cost of living that you charge her what it would cost to rent a shared place and feed herself. However, you tell her that you will give it all back to her when she leaves to buy her own property (maybe less a small charge for the actual increased costs if you feel that is necessary.)
This way she gets used to the costs of real life but also prepares to be independent.

The OP's daughter has already tasted the independent life and has decided that she doesn't like 'the costs of real life'.
Hence her moving back home.

MSE_Sarah wrote: »

Our daughter has returned home after flying the nest as she found the cost of independent living too expensive. She earns over £20,000 a year after tax and has plenty of money left over each month for clothes and social events. We want to be reasonable parents but would appreciate a small contribution regularly to help us with the extra costs and she is not keen on this suggestion. This is causing a bit of an atmosphere at home as we are not wealthy and are economising every day. What would be a reasonable amount to charge?