diary of strugglin working mum

RoxieW

Hi hon, its tough when you dont have that family support available that most people take for granted. i know, i've lived independant from my parents since 16 and it has made the tough times with hubby much tougher because you do feel like there's nowhere else for you to go. i'm sure you'll get there. the only way is up , right! I hope you've got some good friends around you - and your vitual friends here. feel free to pm me anytime.
xxx

Gale_10

Hello,

Firstly, I wasn't able to track down a locksmith for you from the other thread - phoned a couple of friends and my sister but no-one knew anyone. My sister said there are no cheap locksmiths anymore - they all charge £60-90 for the 10 seconds it takes to let you in if you have lost your keys. Goodness if thats what they charge for that then it will cost quite a bit to have locks changed I guess.

Secondly, I have just come across this thread, I didn't know you had this one here, but its nice to catch up with you.

I am sorry that your OH is having an affair. I hope you can get things sorted as soon as possible for you and your son. My thoughts are with you.

Gale

Jeeves1983

Hi Bartgirl

I just want to say that i admire how strong you are given the situation. I have a wife and two lovely children. We went through a rough patch last year but i never dreamt of having an affair, and still wouldn't. You are coming to a tough decision, do you carry on with him, knowing what he has done but also knowing that its easier because he has got better round you? Most women wouldn't hang around and i wouldn't expect my wife to had i had done the dirty. In my own opinion, you have done a fantastic job for all this time nearly on your own so i don't reckon you would miss him when it comes to the financial and home caring side of life.
Just trying to say, that there are also plenty of guys out there who also sypathise with you.
Take care and ill keep popping back in to update my self with how wonderfully you are doing.

Take Care

BartGirl

Jeeves

Your response has brought tears to my eyes..

..because coming from a male perspective i guess its provided some sort of reassurance for me...

I am aware that I may have caused some of the reason that he ended up straying, cos I know once I had DS I devoted my life to him and to a certain extent OH ended up getting pushed outta the picture but if thats pushed him into the arms of another - then so be it...

mrsmortenharket

just read your thread.

You are doing so well.

You DH doesn't realise what he has in you.

Best Wishes

Lisa x

Jeeves1983

I don't agree with you, if he devoted as much time to the kids and you and your debts, he would realise your doin this for the greater good. Once you both work together and pay all your debts you would have more money to enjoy life a bit together. He has started his own downfall im afraid and i have nothing but praise and admiration for you for sticking to your principles and your kids. If he won't help then you have to do it yourself. You have already proved you don't need his help.

We here are all here to support you and i will be keeping close tabs on your diary, giving you hope and encouragment along the way.

He needs you more than you need him, remember that.

Always here for ya, Need a chat? just PM me.

Sea78

Hugs bartgirl - sorry to hear about your OH. I hope you are able to sort things - either with or without him, whatever you decide.

Sea xx

poorbabe

HI Bartgirl, just thought I'd stop by to see how you were doing.

:hello:

BartGirl

Hello everyone

I thought it was high time i posted on here after all the support you'd given me over the last few weeks.

I still have not told OH that i know about the other girl. I'm still in shock, and quite frankly I'm abit scared about what's gonna happen when I let on..

I also realise that I need some time apart from him - my sister who was there the minute I discovered is worried about me and says that i'm a shadow of my former self. That has really shocked me..so I have decided to go and visit my parents. I have done a totally non-MSE thing, and maxed out the 1 and only CC that I have. Its now got 1k on it, but i'm confident that i'll be in a position to pay this off once i return. I'm yet to tell OH about my trip (in 3 weeks time :eek: ) but I feel that I need this time to get away from everything and just think in peace. Cos i have little / no time to myself between working, taking care of home, child etc.

I have also decided that once i return i shall ask to do 1 extra day / week at work. I'll be putting this forward tomorrow..again OH is non-the-wiser. I know he'll definetly have something to say about this, as he thinks its bad enough that I work at all with a toddler at home..

On Wed we have a religious celebration, and I've decided that I'll have to tell him after this - that I know about 'her'.

I've been watching him like a hawk and while she was not on the scene he was around the house ALOT more, was really pleasant etc but on Thurs his mood shifted and i told my sister that i could bet her any money that she's back on the scene. I checked his mob on Fri and I was right. Phone calls back-and-forth.

So the only thing I have left to do, is try and figure out how to tell him and broach the subject. He's still acting semi-nice so far, but thats cos he's skint and so cant afford to take her / us out..so is home alot more than usual. I'm s* scared of how he'll react but know that I have no choice..

poorbabe

Hi Bartgirl

What a situation to be in :eek: Wishing you lot of luck it's not too horrendous for you.

I had some questions which you don't need to answer in a public forum.

• Would you consider counselling to try to keep the marriage going?
• If you tell him on Wednesday, do you want him to leave the home before you fly out in a few weeks' time?
• Have you considered telling his family about this situation to see if they could help (assuming they are fair-minded etc)?
• If you are worried about his reaction it might be best to have someone with you, or arrange to have someone stop by or phone you at some point during that day and ensure your son is not around at this time.

Good luck