diary of strugglin working mum

Js_Other_Half

I've been keeping an eye out for this thread, so am pleased you've come back to let us know what is going on.

I know it must all be very raw right now, but you've done NOTHING wrong. I don't know what marriage vow you took as a muslim, but I think the whole 'love, honour and cherish' in the christian faith if a pretty basic tenet for most marriages. You did your bit, he didn't do his.

I know it's not the same, but I was with someone for 7 years before DH - we both worked at it, but it was difficult. However with DH, it is so ...easy? relaxed? I didn't know a relationship could be like that.

Some day you will be happy again, and you will do a fabulous job of raising your son.

BartGirl

Thanks Js for your kind words.
There's alot going thru my head at the moment
I look forward to the day that I'll be smiling inside AND out
I know there's light at the end of the tunnel
I just dont feel it right now
But i know i'll be fine..

GeorgeUK

Bartgirl, can't really say i'm happy for you - you must still be shaking and hurting, but i read the last 5/6 pages of your diary again and other than him not getting a damn good slap, can't see how his leaving could be a bad thing.

It's no surprise you're drained. You've been battling for at least the last 6 month and now the emotion and relief hits you as you are no longer battling every day.

Just make sure the wee one knows you won't be leaving. How's he doing anyway? A few pages back, you had dropped from a size 12 to an 8 and he was asking other kids if they still liked him. I think lots of cuddles are called for, but then i'm a soppy git.

There is light at the end of the tunnel, but you are still thinking about all the unknowns. You have got him out of the house, but that's only the first (huge) step. Enjoy it for a while before you try to tackle anything else. You need to rebuild your defences that have taken a battering and get your confidence back. Don't try to rush anything and rely on your friends - i'm sure some will be as relieved as you that he's now gone.

Take care and let us know how you're doing.

tattycath

Yes bartgirl, you will be fine. You are very strong-stronger than you might think. You have us to lean on too and if you can draw any extra strength from us -that's what we're here for.
You've probably got through the hardest bit-continued good luck to you and (((hugs)))

pavlovs_dog

GeorgeUK wrote: »

Bartgirl, can't really say i'm happy for you - you must still be shaking and hurting, but i read the last 5/6 pages of your diary again and other than him not getting a damn good slap, can't see how his leaving could be a bad thing.

a great idea from George there. When you feel your self weak and breaking down, look back over your diary and see how far YOU have come in the past 18 months with b*gger all help from him. If you could achieve that with him around, there'll be no holding you back once you get your confidence back on track.

one step at a time - you can do it :grouphug:

BartGirl

GeorgeUK wrote: »

Just make sure the wee one knows you won't be leaving. How's he doing anyway? A few pages back, you had dropped from a size 12 to an 8 and he was asking other kids if they still liked him. I think lots of cuddles are called for, but then i'm a soppy git.


Take care and let us know how you're doing.

DS has been quiet yesterday and had a restless night. He called out to me thrice which has never happened. I kind of knew that he was uneasy and as you said I have simply been showering him with affection.

Tonight he made me cry because when i fed him he said he really liked the food. I smiled and went into the kitchen to weep silently cos it was such a contrast to GFN who would do nothing but constantly criticise my cooking abilities.

I am really over-doing things on the affection side in terms of DS because I dont want any feelings of anxiety or worry to creep into him..and I love giving him hugs and cuddles - expect now there are alot more and last longer. I keep kissing him and reminding him how much I love him..and i truly do..if it wasnt for him i fear I may have remained in that terrible situation :eek:

poorbabe

Hey hunnie, just caught up on your post and want to send you lots and lots of virtual hugs.

I don't have anything much to add as it's already been said, but I'll pass on one phrase I came across years ago when I was going through my own problems. Don't remember where it came from: "And This Too Shall Pass".

SarahNeedle1872

Hey BG, nice to see you post again.... I'm glad for you that this has happened, but understand why things still feel so raw. I'm sure in time you will 'heal'.

Sx

GeorgeUK

Bartgirl, don't know if you often step outside of the DFW board ( i rarely do), but i ahd followed one thread that was titled 'Rebuilding our lives'. This got too big and was locked to make may for 'Rebuilding our lives again'. It's now called 'Back on the market' in the moneysaving arms board. I know you aren't at that stage yet, but there are lots of people in there that may be able to offer advice on what happens next or how to cope with this better. The thread is getting huge again, but they're a friendly bunch over there and i think may be able to help even if just to lend an ear.

Don't you dare stop posting here, but thought i'd mention that thread - alot of good people there that have gone through or are going through breakups.
http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=1495091

BartGirl

George: Yes I had seen those threads and I guess at some point I shall muster up my energy and head down there at some point..good advice..