diary of strugglin working mum

Wol2

BartGirl wrote: »

Thanks everone for your concern

I dont really know what to say

Except thanks to Molly for updating you all

Things are deteriorating rapidly on my end

Bad to worse is an easy way of describing it

I'mm coping but a day at a time

GFN on the scene but finally looks like getting out

Its a struggle and apart from that health been affected of both DS and I

Have a couple of courses on so that keeps my brain occupied cos otherwise i walk around like i'm in a daze..if you've been there you'll know what i mean..

I do come on here but cos i feel like i have nothing good / positive to say - i choose to say nothing...

Am alright. I'll be fine

BG

Stay strong....we are here for you whenever, wherever......

Just let us know as and when......we're all rooting for you Hun......

Know about the daze..for me it lasted almost 10 years.........just remember..we are here for you..and competely outside any other sphere of influence IYSWIM......

You are doing SO well...keep going .......it's tough....but you have clearly already shown by the resilience of your ;posts...you WILL get there......

Hugs Hun
xxx

tattycath

anyone heard from bartgirl? she's not been on since april...hope she's ok.

wantabetterlife

Hi bartgirl. I have just read your thread from start to finish- took several hours! I am amazed at your ability to keep going and to try and make a better future for you and your wee boy! You are really inspirational and i hope your situation improves. Please let us know if you are ok.

WABL

BartGirl

Guys

Just wanted to update you all

GFNs gone...

I never ever thought I'd see the day when i said that but its finally happened

..((sigh))..

He walked out on us yesterday afternoon

Luckily DS was at a friends house

We'd rowed the day before and he dragged it on and on

I remained silent

as a church mouse

mainly cos i am super-proper drained
he said all sorts of spiteful hateful things about me
then 'threatened' to pack+leave and when i didnt object or react in anyway i think he was stunned..

he then had no choice i guess but to act on what he had threatened to do
he took his time putting his !!!!!! together but i hung around to keep an i on what he was taking cos i didnt want him taking anything that didnt belong to him

I feel numb
Like someones died
my emotions are all over the shop
DS not asked of GFN whereabouts or mentioned him at all-dunno if he's noticed/not
I am crying at the drop of a hat
I feel sad - like a failure and just so many things going thru my head at the mo'
I feel madddd, pi$$$ed off and just so many emotions
I never wanted this but know its for the best in the long run

shall come on here later

- BG

PS>thanks 2 u all 4 yr concern shall try message u all separately at some point

Ellidee

BG - I don't know what to say - sorry that you are upset of course - you are bound to have mixed emotions - it is still very fresh and raw- but I have to admit that I am also pleased - for your sake- that he has gone. I know it won't be easy but it wasn't easy for you with him there was it ? Please be kind to yourself and accept how you are feeling and also know that it will pass, your mind will clear and you can plan for a much better future for you and your ds. I know that you are strong lady and you will be even stronger without GFN to deal with. Please keep us updated. Take care and very best wishes honey XX

miemie

BG i,m sorry your feeling sad and hurt, but in the long run you will see this is the best for both you and your son, this is the first day of the rest of your happier life, be brave and strong and take care, you will be ok because your a fighter.

big hugs miemie

yoni_one

I'm so sorry your emotions are all over the place, it sounds like you are in shock at the moment and that can do all kinds of weird things to the mind and body.

Sometimes knowing something is better in the long run isn't quite enough comfort to help to deal with the now, I wish I knew what to say to help you deal with this.

No wonder you are super-proper drained. I don't believe you could have given any more without even worse impact on your mental and physical health and at some point downtrack you will know it in your heart as well as your head that you were not the failure in all this.

But for now sending you lots of hugs.

Take care and stay safe. xxx

BartGirl

Yoni
I have alot to thank you for
You have no idea
I shall never ever forget that YOU were the one that pointed out to me that i was undergoing Abuse
I was truly clueless
I'd never heard of womens aid or anything like that
And it has led me to tremendous help like i could not have imagined
Up until the point that you told me that i was being abused
I just believed that i was living with a horrible person
But it was far more than that
And for so long i had no idea that i was suffering abuse
I have this website and the people on here to thank
for pointing out the obvious
thanks is just not enough
thanks

pavlovs_dog

bartgirl it's natural that you feel drained. despite the fact that you have planned for a time when GFN would no longer be in your lives it's only natural that you grieve for the relationship - for what you've lost, but also for the relationship you wanted with him but could not have.

cry and let it all out if you need to - no one will think any less of you.

in the mean time, make sure you and your son are safe. do you have friends and family that you can call on if needs be? have you thought about changing the locks, just to be safe?

BartGirl

Yes locks done and my nearest and dearest have been told

no-one else yet as is still fresh+raw in my mind

Thanks pavlov for posting