diary of strugglin working mum

BartGirl

undecided as yet...dont want him picking up on the fact that i'm pulling my act together

BartGirl

Regarding that 'spare' £100 I'd have to throw at debt - its been spoken for now.
2 items have come out (or will..on Monday) thru direct debit which is 1. HIS flippin setanta and the quarterly BT bill.It was going to be worst case scenario Mon they'd come out, but i was hoping Wed instead cos thats pay day..
It took me overdrawn so had to take it outta the CC overpayment :mad: and deposit it yesterday otherwise I'd have been charged by my bank..

poorbabe

((((((BG))))))))))))


Just a quickie. Why are YOU paying for his tv stuff, or does he give you the cash for it?

Re the BT bill, is it just the line rental/VAT you are paying, having routed calls through a CPS or whatever?

You are doing so well, I truly wished you lived nearby so you could give me a kicking to sort myself out too

BartGirl

He said he'll pay me for this installment of setanta so i'm waiting for Wed when i should receive it.
I've already written though to cancel it!sent it recorded delivery.

The BT bill is quarterly - and had NO calls on it at all. Purely line rental.

(Land_of)_Maz

Hey Bart Girl, long time no post but i'm always reading!

you're doing great hun, stay focused and if you feel like you're stuck in a rut go back to page 1, post 11, and see how far you're came in such a short space of time.

Maz
x

CarolynH

You okay Chickaboo? You've been gone all week.

Buzzbox

CarolynH wrote: »

You okay Chickaboo? You've been gone all week.

Been eagerly scouting the main forum for this thread.... wondering as well! You there Batgirl?

BartGirl

ALOT has happened since last on here.

Financially: got paid on time. Yippee!! And got the extras in from having upped my hours this month. As we speak (as i write!..) I have paid out on everything that's owing for this month.
The horrid CC I've paid £150 on - the minimum was £30 and the rest is a combination of overpayments and the money i used for the phonebill and setanta. Barclaycard had £135 owing and I paid £60.Almost there!! I'll be looking forward to perhaps aiming to clear this CC next month; then it'll be one extra thing i'm not paying out for...
Council Tax I paid out already - £173; plus only a handful of DDs left to come out.Just waiting for Mr Provident to turn up now..

I've also done my monthly shop at Aldi - spent £40 a tenner of which was non-food items so theoretically thats £30 food. Then the butcher £29 too. Shall pop into market this morning sometime and thats us sorted for the month as a whole. Yippee!!
Quidco have paid up including the car insurance so am waiting for about £100ish to hit my account too. That'll go straight to savings. Talking about savings, i've still yet to put anything in there this month cos with having spent on all my bills and necessities this month - it makes me feel nervous with all the money coming out of my account - so i dont like to touch it until i've seen the end balance! I know that probably sounds really stupid, but its the truth. I'll probably peep at the balance on Wed and make the final decision as to what shall be saved then...I'm hoping somthing in the region of £300 so that i can boost my savings account once again..I also spent abit more than i should have in general: mainly cos i have decided to start home-educating DS. He's not entitled to start nursery until Jan 09 but he's so bright and picks things up so quickly that i've decided that I'll start teaching him bits and bobs from this month. So although I've avoided spending a fortune in WHSmiths etc i have been into the £ shop and spent about £7 on crayons; paints; glues; crafty things etc. Plus £7 on a toy he was desparate for in Argos. Miscellaneous in Primark for £12. Just writing it all down is making me shiver..! I'm still waiting for DSs to cough up setanta money. I reminded him last night so lets see..

On the subject of DSs dad: he suggested we take him to the park today and that after that he'll take us all out for a meal.?? Yesterday for the first time in years he bought nappies for DS. Since he was a newborn thats not happened.. plus he actually came outside and played with him for about an hour. I dont know whats behind all this and to be quite frank its making me feel abit unnerved.. He's also told me that he's decided to go away for 10 days in July to 'sort his head out'. He's already paid for it and said that on his return he wants to straighten things out between us once and for all-to make things right... He sounds serious cos he wont stop banging on about it, the only problem that I have now - is if he does do as he's saying he will - I'm not sure that I'll still want him though - in other words - i feel like the damage's been done..does that make sense?? But I cant start worrying about something that may or may not happen so i shall concentrate on MSE/DFW lifestyle living!!!!
BTW:counsellor called and i've got my 1st appointment / assessment a week on Monday!

I've got an item of furniture ending on ebay this afternoon, and am preparing to add another 6ish items this afternoon as well..I'd really like to make about £100 on there this month if i can..fingers crossed..;)

Mollymop5

Hi Bartgirl, good to have you back. I'd be a bit concerned with who he's going away with! do you know where he's going and who with? The attention could be because he feels guilty about going away and is trying to make it look like he's doing the right thing when infact he's not.My ex used to spend time with us when he was building up to saying something he didn't want to blurt out.

yoni_one

Hey Bartgirl, I have been hoping you would post soon and it is great to hear how well you are doing. Good luck on ebay. And btw your approach to your savings doesn't sound stupid at all at least I hope it isn't stupid because that's the way I do it too!

Re DS's dad, I think you are right to be on alert re. his change in behaviour.

I am wondering if he has noticed a positive change in you and is working out how to deal with it? I have seen and heard about it happening many times in abusive relationships when the target of abuse starts taking back control in a subtle way. The cycle of abuse requires the perpetrator to appear nice and thoughtful from time to time in order to show their victim how good it can be (with the unspoken message of this being if the target behaves well for them). But you indicate that you think the damage is done already and that makes perfect sense to me, you are aware of what might be going on here and on your guard. That sounds a pretty healthy position for you to take here.

As you say, there is little point in worrying now about what may or may not happen with DS's dad but it is a good thing that you are mentally preparing for 'something' as opposed to blindly accepting what he is saying.