Help asap I lied about sick leave

[Deleted User]

Is the reference an absolute given? (often you will only be presented worst case here) not many companies are chomping at the bit to write a reference which loses someone new and fresh start/job due to allegations of slander that can follow.

Well done on pushing yourself for the interview, anxiety is the crueliest of them all. I'd personally try and think what is done is done, if they reject you as you got this offer on more then sickness stats alone (yes really this is what you need tell yourself) (you maybe over worrying) then you'll be able to know what best to do next time.

There was an ex colleague they had far more days of sick then ever worked at one particular place, in the end, they went to work through an agency handling high volume intake into role at a company that actually rewards attendance on a quartely basis. Because everybody is entitled to a another chance. They ended up black catting all of us!

Please let's not forget employers pay for a service of their employee's here. I'd sooner have to ask the old company not to reply to any reference request maybe I'm lucky but I've had bosses before now who had said I pay you it doesn't mean I have to write for you. Please don't let it stress you, what will be, will be x

iammumtoone

Personally I think the best thing you can do now is thank the new company for the job offer but polity decline and start again looking elsewhere, at the next interview don't make the same mistake.

If you own up there is a chance they may still offer the job but it is slim probably better for your metal health if you are the one that walks away. From a mental health prospective much better to not known what would have happened then to know that the job offer was withdrawn due to your own actions. The second scenario will be much harder to recover from.

sangie595

Deleted%20User wrote: »

Is the reference an absolute given? (often you will only be presented worst case here) No. People are told the truth. The employer mightbe forgiving (and that has been said) but it is unlikely (because that is the truth). not many companies are chomping at the bit to write a reference which loses someone new and fresh start/job due to allegations of slander that can follow. You keep saying that employers don't seem to be interested in references any more. This isn't the first time. There is NO evidence to support your view. Most employers do give references, even if only factual references (which may include the fact of someone sick leave). And whilst it would be highly unlikely that any employer is genuinely worried about being sued for slander (on account of the fact that to bring such a case you have to put down £thousands just for the court deposit), they are not going to be found guilty of slander if their defence is that it is true.

Well done on pushing yourself for the interview, anxiety is the crueliest of them all. I'd personally try and think what is done is done, if they reject you as you got this offer on more then sickness stats alone (yes really this is what you need tell yourself) (you maybe over worrying) then you'll be able to know what best to do next time. Tell the truth?

There was an ex colleague they had far more days of sick then ever worked at one particular place, in the end, they went to work through an agency handling high volume intake into role at a company that actually rewards attendance on a quartely basis. Because everybody is entitled to a another chance. They ended up black catting all of us!

Please let's not forget employers pay for a service of their employee's here. I'd sooner have to ask the old company not to reply to any reference request maybe I'm lucky but I've had bosses before now who had said I pay you it doesn't mean I have to write for you. Please don't let it stress you, what will be, will be x

Let's also not forget that, from the employer who might be paying the OP in the futures perspective, this person has been, and still is off sick for months. So the last employer has been paying for someone who hasn't been at work. What makes you think that the new employer wants to take on someone who (a) lied about their sickness and then (b) hasn't anything except their word for it (which currently isn't worth a damn) that they won't be off sick again for months the day after they start the new job? I'm sorry that the OP is having such a bad time, but that doesn't excuse lying, and right now, their credibility with the employer (possibly both employers if the new one tells the old one) is shot to hell.

Geoff1963

It is only ever safe to lie : about something which cannot be found out, is for the benefit of the person being lied to, or to someone who has no right to the truth.

I don't think any of that applies here.

steampowered

Basically, you have two options:

1) Keep quiet and hope they don't notice. If they find out, they will withdraw the offer. They could also dismiss you if they find out at a later date.

2) Tell them about it now. Hopefully they will be understanding. In reality they are likely to withdraw the offer.


Which option is best depends on your circumstances. If you could easily find another job, option 2 is best. But if you find getting another job tough - from a purely selfish perspective - option 1 is best.

To be honest, what's done is done. I'm not sure there is much you can do to fix it now. You might be tempted to keep schtum and hope for the best ...

General_Grant

sangie595 wrote: »

. . . You started out here indicating that your were "mad/angry" because of this situation. You need to be annoyed at yourself, not everyone else.
. . . So stop being angry at everyone else.

I've read and re-read the OP and I'm afraid I see only that s/he has used an "angry" emoji. That doesn't automatically mean they are angry with anyone other than themselves. They use it after the question about what they should do about the situation. I could read it very easily as being angry with themselves for having got themselves into the situation.

sangie595

General_Grant wrote: »

I've read and re-read the OP and I'm afraid I see only that s/he has used an "angry" emoji. That doesn't automatically mean they are angry with anyone other than themselves. They use it after the question about what they should do about the situation. I could read it very easily as being angry with themselves for having got themselves into the situation.

Good. In that case they could clarify that point themselves instead of getting angry at someone who had quite rightly pointed out that their actions have potential implications for people other than themselves. Post #4

xapprenticex

Lying sux, not worth the hassle.

TBagpuss

OP, as others have said, if the new employer find out that you lied, they could withdraw the offer or dismiss you.

Obviously you could keep quiet and hope they don't find out, but given that you suffer from anxiety would you really want to have that hanging over your head?

Only you can decide whether it will be less stressful for you, personally, to turn down the offer and not know how they would have reacted, or to tell them and see what they say, or to keep quiet and have the risk of them finding out hanging over you.

If it were me, I would either tell them, or withdraw, because staying silent is surely going to create ongoing stress, and risk you getting ill again.

hyubh

Dare I suggest to the regulars of this parish - playing the role of a veritable portentous Rick again and again isn't the greatest way to help first-time posters.