Help asap I lied about sick leave

MissDanielle

Hi,

I've been off of work since April with my mental health. I will never be able to go back to my current job I realise that now so have started looking for jobs. I had an interview today and after fighting my anxiety I actually turned up. :money:

I know from reading things online that if someone asks you if you've had sick leave BEFORE offering you a job you don't have to be honest but also they're not supposed to. After filling out a form denying I have had sick leave I was offered the job. Do I email the interviewer and explain what I had done honestly or hand my notice in let him get a reference off of my manager and possibly be fired before I'd even get to start.

Now what do I do? :mad:

sangie595

MissDanielle wrote: »

Hi,

I've been off of work since April with my mental health. I will never be able to go back to my current job I realise that now so have started looking for jobs. I had an interview today and after fighting my anxiety I actually turned up. :money:

I know from reading things online that if someone asks you if you've had sick leave BEFORE offering you a job you don't have to be honest but also they're not supposed to. After filling out a form denying I have had sick leave I was offered the job. Do I email the interviewer and explain what I had done honestly or hand my notice in let him get a reference off of my manager and possibly be fired before I'd even get to start.

Now what do I do? :mad:

Why are you "mad"? You lied, and now that lie is catching up with you. I'm afraid there is no right answer. If you admit the truth now, they might withdraw the offer for lying. If they find out you lied from a reference, they might withdraw the offer (or sack you if you have started work) for lying. There is no way that either possibility is better than the other, or a safer bet.

ReadingTim

Firstly, you need to stop lying to your current employer about being able to return to your present job, so either resign or have them terminate your contract on the grounds of ill-health. Do this ASAP

Secondly, you need to stop lying to the new employer about your sick leave. They may find out anyway from your previous employer, so you need to come clean, or not accept the job. They may withdraw it anyway, so you might want to resume the job hunt in the meantime.

Thirdly, I assume you lied due to the stigma some employers associate with mental health issues? Well, it's behaviour like this which gives rise to some of that stigma, so your dishonesty has negatively affected many more people than just you. Nice one.

I think you need help with your honesty, not your employment situation.

MissDanielle

Are you having me on? I had a break down at work in April living with depression is not easy and last month I was diagnosed with BPD. I am on sick leave and you are allowed to look for a job while on sick leave I have done nothing illegal. I want to go back to work but my current employees haven't been the kindest about my situation. How dare you tell me I have made the stigma worse for others

ssparks2003

You asked for advice, and you got advice. Sadly it was not the advice that you wanted but such is life.

You have been lying to everyone, so now is the time to step up and stop lying.

ReadingTim

No, I'm serious. Tell me how your lying will help anyone else who's in a similar situation.

Undervalued

MissDanielle wrote: »

Hi,

I've been off of work since April with my mental health. I will never be able to go back to my current job I realise that now so have started looking for jobs. I had an interview today and after fighting my anxiety I actually turned up. :money:

I know from reading things online that if someone asks you if you've had sick leave BEFORE offering you a job you don't have to be honest but also they're not supposed to. After filling out a form denying I have had sick leave I was offered the job. Do I email the interviewer and explain what I had done honestly or hand my notice in let him get a reference off of my manager and possibly be fired before I'd even get to start.

Now what do I do? :mad:

Not quite. You can decline to answer but you are not allowed to lie. If they discriminate against you for failing to answer or, if they find out from elsewhere, then you may have a claim against them.

sangie595

MissDanielle wrote: »

Are you having me on? I had a break down at work in April living with depression is not easy and last month I was diagnosed with BPD. I am on sick leave and you are allowed to look for a job while on sick leave I have done nothing illegal. I want to go back to work but my current employees haven't been the kindest about my situation. How dare you tell me I have made the stigma worse for others

OK. But how does any of that explain why you deliberately lied. You obviously thought that it mattered, or you wouldn't have lied. It may not be illegal to lie, but it certainly isn't right. You are currently off sick and you lied to the employer about sick leave. That isn't a lapse of memory. Or a mental health disorder. And you won't ever know now whether the potential employer would have accepted an honest explanation, because all they have before them is you lied to their face in the interview. Why shouldn't they wonder what else is a lie?

That is why someone has said that your lie impacts on other people too. Because, unfortunately, in this world, others tend to lump together groups of people and make assumptions about others based on their experience of one person. They shouldn't, but they do. So it is entirely possible that you have just painted a picture that they will apply to others.

You started out here indicating that your were "mad/angry" because of this situation. You need to be annoyed at yourself, not everyone else. Nobody else lied to you. And your current employer may not be everything you want them to be. But they have supported sick leave of over four months already. Plenty of employers would have sacked you by now for long term absence of that length. So again, it isn't all about you.

I'm sorry if you have a mental health disorder and I hope that you get the help that you need. But you are here through your own actions - nothing to do with that illness, and nobody else's fault. So stop being angry at everyone else.

DCFC79

MissDanielle wrote: »

Are you having me on? I had a break down at work in April living with depression is not easy and last month I was diagnosed with BPD. I am on sick leave and you are allowed to look for a job while on sick leave I have done nothing illegal. I want to go back to work but my current employees haven't been the kindest about my situation. How dare you tell me I have made the stigma worse for others

No 1 has said you have done anything illegal.

Scorpio33

You should not have lied on any form stating you didn't have any sick leave when you did. That could well in itself lead to the job offer being withdrawn, but the only way to be sure is to confess to your potential new employers. They may be ok with it as they would want to know that it is not an ongoing issue, and I believe it wouldn't be once you changed jobs?

If you then have the job offer withdrawn, let this be a lesson and be more honest on forms in the future. I am not saying give up information about your ill health, but if they ask, be honest.


As to your current role, well carry on as you are and follow doctors advise. You health is way more important than any job.

Scorpio33

oh and a standard reference usually includes number of sick days, so if you went to ignoring it and waiting on references, chances are they will find out. Way better to confess it all now and hope they will be understanding.