Journey to £0 by 2020, with a few bumps along the way

enthusiasticsaver

Putting petrol in is a good compromise but he needs to get his act together.

enthusiasticsaver

Has he asked you for money?

chelseablue

No not yet

enthusiasticsaver

Well I wouldn't offer then. No need to fix his problems or he will never learn

chelseablue

Thank you

If he does ask I'll say I'll put petrol in his car from the joint money in the Halifax account but that's it, as its needed for food

I wont be spending any of my personal money on him

God I sound really mean don't I, what a marriage this is!

Just don't see why I should keep funding him, he's 30! Especially as he's the reason I've got 8 grand to pay off

[Deleted User]

I don't think you sound mean at all, I think at 30 years old he should be managing his money perfectly fine and not relying on you!

wishingthemortgaheaway

Deep Breath Chelsea Blue - I've been reading along, but not commenting.

I think he does need the 'cut off all credit approach' often people say they only really have their lightbulb moment when access to more credit is cut off and they have to deal with their spending habits.
Maybe his time has come. Hopefully, if it does it will be a team effort and you won't have to carry that £8k debt all on your own.

Keep smiling.
Keep strong.

chelseablue

Thank you both, feel so stressed about it all!

If I do the petrol he's not going to just not drink and smoke for 3 weeks, he'll either keep badgering me till I cave in, ask his Mum or get one of those terrible pay day loans :eek:

enthusiasticsaver

That sounds incredibly stressful but this is obviously a pattern of behaviour he has fallen into. Mess up and someone else sorts it out. The thing is you have bailed him out before. If you keep doing it he won't change. You seem to be worrying about it more than he is though. Keep reminding him you are paying off debt.

chelseablue

It is very stressful for me.

I've helped him twice before; he owed £1,700 on a Capital One credit card a couple of years ago at 19% interest. I did a BT to a 0% card in my name (this is now paid off and closed) and he closed the Capital One card.

Then when he was with Natwest he run up a £1,000 overdraft, we went into the bank I paid it off and he closed the account.

These 2 times I helped him was when it was joint money and everything went into one account

Will not be doing this again!

The only thing I can do is take out of the joint account what we need for food, then give him the card and say he can use what's left and that when its gone that's it