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redofromstart

Our latest garden theory is to add more grass and just look after small planted pockets.  Learning to accept that I can't do everything, and that I don't like paying people to do things I enjoy has been an interesting process. Paying someone to clear the monster brambles and nettles was an excellent idea, I hate leg work. I like fiddling with pretty plants.

@EssexHebridean you are right, I really should go back and insist on another referral.  I find that I am very defensive about being ill and I resent the time, energy and cost (I paid for some of it) that have gone into no clear diagnosis.  I can also hear @greenbee and my mother sniggering at any poor dietitian assigned to helping me.  I am brilliant at excluding things I do not want to eat, less good at vegetables for example.  

greenbee

Maybe I should get you the ‘all your greens in one pill’ things I take when I travel?

HairyHandofDartmoor

It's a shame you can't get to the bottom of your tummy troubles. Trying to find ways to relieve stress would be good but I know that's easier said than done.

EssexHebridean

I think it's probably time for some gentle foot stamping then. I'm probably the worst person to be giving sensible advice on such things mind allowing that I landed myself in hospital through being unwilling to actually say "No - there needs to be a solution found to this" when I should have done. Or maybe that's the reason why - I can hope that others learn from my mistakes! There are referral paths out there - sadly I suspect in a lot of cases you need to be willing to stand and stare a lot, tapping your foot repeatedly until things are actually done. 

astrocytic_kitten

redofromstart said:

@EssexHebridean you are right, I really should go back and insist on another referral.  I find that I am very defensive about being ill and I resent the time, energy and cost (I paid for some of it) that have gone into no clear diagnosis. 

As someone who has spent the past few years in and out of hospital clinics and different referrals, this really spoke to me and was just how I used to feel. I got lots of diagnoses along the way but kept on pushing through with work and life etc and was only finally diagnosed when my body sort of broke down and I couldn’t push through any more. As someone trying to row back from that now, I know it’s exhausting having to advocate for yourself when you’re sick, but I’d agree with @e@EssexHebridean to try to revisit it now. I’d like to give some advice on how to accept being ill but I don’t think I’m really there yet.

I know you mentioned earlier you’ve tried keeping food diaries etc, have you ever specifically noted down the severity of your symptoms and how they impact your life to take to the doctor? I’ve found that to be really helpful - saying ‘the pain was really bad’ is one thing, saying it was so bad I couldn’t stand up straight and didn’t go on my booked and paid for holiday really got the drs attention. 

redofromstart

@greenbee, we both know I wouldn't take them after day 3.  I do take peppermint oil, makes no difference to symptoms but reflux tastes like polo mints so a bonus.
@HairyHandofDartmoor I know, anyone else I'd be saying ease off the stress. Harder when it's you.
@EssexHebridean I remember you disappearing and the recovery period and the consequences that you shared.  I just hate hate hate going to the quacks and loathe the lack of diagnosis.  I have no faith that kicking up a fuss will do anything other than stress me sadly.
@astrocytic_kitten thank you, that helps.  

I think I get bored of being told everything is stress.  I would almost welcome a diagnosis of something known, physical and manageable. I'm tired of vague diagnosis, especially after spending a lot of money to get that vague diagnosis.  After a while you start to believe that it is you, that there is nothing physical wrong.  My GP said to me a few months ago that I have to understand that there may never be an easy, obvious physical diagnosis.  That doesn't mean that he doesn't believe that I hurt every day, and that I don't need his help, but that there isn't much more he can do than help the symptoms.  That helped, but I'm still bored of being ill with something that is just in my head.

right,  that's enough self pity.  Moving on...

redofromstart

Today I filled my car with fuel, the petrol station loyalty Apps are worth signing up for if you haven't already.  

I moved some cash to the savings.  I've messed up on dividends and know we need tax savings so I have moved the cash now rather than panic later.

tossco delivered, which helps.  My time outweighs any premium on what I buy against LDL/Al.  I prefer W/Oc/A&C for deliveries but buy less because I'm conscious of the additional cost.  This way everything is cheaper than the local co op but easier than Sunday trip to Lidl.

there are snowdrops everywhere which makes me happy

moving_forward

There you go again showing off about your abundance of snowdrops

redofromstart

Sorry! They are in my top five plants though and they were all free.  I always share them too, happy to give anyone a few hundred. I think I have forced trays full on everyone I know locally.  Shocks me what they charge for them in the green.  I went past a house recently where the drive to the road was solid self seeded cyclamen.  My kind of gardening.  Was v grateful for traffic jam and wanted to knock and say how much I had enjoyed them. 

greenbee

redofromstart said:

@greenbee, we both know I wouldn't take them after day 3.  I do take peppermint oil, makes no difference to symptoms but reflux tastes like polo mints so a bonus.
@HairyHandofDartmoor I know, anyone else I'd be saying ease off the stress. Harder when it's you.
@EssexHebridean I remember you disappearing and the recovery period and the consequences that you shared.  I just hate hate hate going to the quacks and loathe the lack of diagnosis.  I have no faith that kicking up a fuss will do anything other than stress me sadly.
@astrocytic_kitten thank you, that helps.  

I think I get bored of being told everything is stress.  I would almost welcome a diagnosis of something known, physical and manageable. I'm tired of vague diagnosis, especially after spending a lot of money to get that vague diagnosis.  After a while you start to believe that it is you, that there is nothing physical wrong.  My GP said to me a few months ago that I have to understand that there may never be an easy, obvious physical diagnosis.  That doesn't mean that he doesn't believe that I hurt every day, and that I don't need his help, but that there isn't much more he can do than help the symptoms.  That helped, but I'm still bored of being ill with something that is just in my head.

right,  that's enough self pity.  Moving on...

I had a similar conversation with my Dad years ago - he knew something was wrong but we were reaching the end of the road in terms of working out what it was. As a last resort he sent me to a neurologist because I had no reflexes in my feet or legs - and we found the problem within about 30 minutes. I was lucky that my Dad was able to sort out the referrals to people he knew and trusted - now I have to push (but I do ask my brother for input/suggestions at times) as I'm not happy with 'we can see there's a problem but we don't know what it is so we'll just treat the symptoms'.