KonMari 2017 - The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up

[Deleted User]

Thinking ahead to potential move, having got the sewing room down to whatever I would keep. I have very much sewing fabric, lovely quality lengths, also stored in my airing cupboard, called that but no heat in there. Just in time, decided not to give away the large 18 litre stacking `really useful` boxes, I have some empty now. They are perfect for holding the fabrics, see through and I could keep them in a wardrobe if I don`t get a similar cupboard situation. Phew just in time here, I am glad I left them to one side for a while. I am finding that `holding on for a few days` cuts out the uncertainty

No KM today but glad I was certain that I had kept two coffee cups and saucers from sweep one. Could only find 2 cups and one saucer on the recent sweep. Until last night, gazing at a candle, there it was, under a pillar candle in a metal lantern. Oh the small things that make me happy

I have added a few paperbacks to my winter stash for if I am `trapped` by ice and snow, temporary books. Anyone read Conn Iggulden books? I have some, started one and am not sure. A different type of book for me. I have a trilogy to read

Karmacat

maryb wrote: »

Oceanspirit you are far more charitable than I am. I think they can control their behaviour - they are all sweetness and light to the outside world - but choose not to/don't see the need with family and children. It's harder for them, perhaps, but they have a choice

I definitely understand your feelings on that, maryb - my step-grandmother, who lived with us from when I was 6, used to take delight in upsetting me when I dutifully went into her sitting room to wish her goodnight. She could control taht behaviour perfectly well, she just chose not to. She told my mum about it when I was in my 20s.

A real narcissist is difficult to tell apart from a psychopath - as a therapist, I only ever had a few of them on my books, and as GQ says, they don't really heal. They seem to, they can understand things, but they don't change. It can be really shocking, between alienating other people and inadvertently ending up in criminal or section-worthy behaviour.

maryb wrote: »

Certainly, the Golden Child in our family didn't benefit from being the favourite in the long run. But I wish I had known what I know now much sooner. I wouldn't have worried so much that I might turn out the same. That's the biggest load I have Kondo'd. Lord knows, there's plenty that's not so good about me, but I no longer worry I will turn into a narcissist unless I work very hard at not letting my real self out

Golden Children never genuinely benefit from such an out of kilter childhood - they're just damaged in different, less obvious ways, I'm afraid. And I'm absolutely sure that your real self is **not** a narcissist, maryb - literally so, real selves never are. You're a good person, who's been deeply hurt :kisses3: All the best to you.

daisy_1571 wrote: »

Thoroughly enjoying the very positive thoughts on kming the bad feelings after dealing with narcissistic people, well done everyone who's been contributing to that, very useful stuff.

Absolutely. Hope people don't mind me adding my two'pennorth. And kming those feelings is one of the best things to do for our own health and stability. Even now, I have to work at it sometimes, something unintentional will ping at a painful memory and I literally just work at it until it subsides.

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mrsmac10

Hello


I now need to read back about your narcissistic people I am sure my estranged daughter is narcissistic and love others insights


I read here intermittently so off to read and thanks

[Deleted User]

I was restless just now, I know that because I ate every single piece of the bakewell remaining in my freezer. Now I am left with very guilty fullness and a shamed feeling

I have decided to go further into feng shui, I did a longish evening course once so know some basics but have forgotten a a lot. I am thinking that I need to be armed and ready for my new house, ready to instinctively know if it is the right house for me, ready for me to be brave enough to reject a house if something cannot be changed. With that in mind I have been on amazon and ordered some books, all second hand and some only a 1p. I am not interested in so called `cures` but in the basics, positioning etc

silvasava

Kittie - I think KM has its roots in Feng Shui - a lot of FS is about clearing clutter that leads to stagnant areas and letting the Chi flow through the house.
Just KM'd two tea towels and an unused oven mitt to the sailing club when we do the quiz suppers. May the Chi flow through the kitchen drawer lol

Pooky

20 items listed on the bay of e today, all items that have been sitting in a cabinet that I've just stopped looking at. Lots more to go too.

I've started yet another CS bag too.....it's creeping out of the woodwork!

PollyWollyDoodle

I've just gone through some papers looking for a particular item. I have a box file that I labelled 'Memory Bank' and it contains a mixture of things but mostly sentimental or personal stuff that I didn't feel able to throw away.

I was genuinely surprised at some of the contents - bear in mind it's two years or less since I created this file. Why on earth did I keep some of this stuff? When do I think I'm ever going to want to (a) re read it or (b) show it to someone else? And if neither of those apply, why keep it?

Just goes to show what an ongoing process this is. I foresee an evening with the shredder!

[Deleted User]

I am picking myself up again, `sigh` I get a moment from time to time, I think we all do. I think I am fed up with talking to the walls but I know it is fleeting

That one feng shui book that I already have, nicely written and a good time for me to re-read it. She says that if we move house and need to put stuff into a bin bag for disposal, then we still need to de-clutter. Ok yes, I get that and have just removed a colour changing lamp from my hall. That enabled more space on my sideboard, which is covered with a nice light runner already curving over the sharp edges. The runner is woven light cream with a string of birds on tree branches. I put the tall light on, which stands on there and gosh what a different ambience.

So I need to do another sweep of each and every room, the large storage shed and the garage

I have been thinking about towels for a few days. How many do I need? Not as many as I have got and the ones that I have got? New and barely used but a crisp stripey pattern in loud blues and really I know I would rather have a soft female pattern. Dd is always short of towels, they are going

Looking quickly around my snug, where I am sitting at the moment. It has to be the tall lantern, about 3` tall. It would be very suitable for a scandinavian type loft room and I know that I will not be taking it. This chi has to flow and I feel I am a bit stuck just now, I know what to do about it, it is hard but I have to release more within myself too and it starts with the likes of this lantern

Slinky

Sounds like good progress is being made Kittie.

I spotted a garlic press in the drawer when I was rummaging for the veg peeler last night. We only use lazy garlic now so that can go. I've also fished out a wooden chopping board we never use. Unlike GQ's one it sparks no joy at all. Big, heavy, difficult to wash, and with a burn mark on the bottom where it got put on a gas hob in another house over 14 years ago. I can't decide if it could go in our garden bin being wooden. If I put it in the pile for the tip, OH will see it and we'll probably have a 'justin' conversation I can't be bothered to have, so I think it will have to go whilst he isn't around.

[Deleted User]

garlic press slinky, I saw a garlic slicer in a drawer today, that is going too. I am definitely going to do another KM pass in each room. The very heavy granite sawn off rolling pin, sawn off because it was a brilliant basher for making sauerkraut. I already got rid of the pot, don`t know why I kept that rolling pin. It is going to rain here tomorrow, a good time to do a few kitchen drawers

I just did a run through the towels and the stripey ones are good quality with several still unused. All in one place now, an ikea lidded laundry bin in the bathroom, it makes an excellent seat btw. They are good enough to take if I move, it is the ancient beige ones that really need to go. They are very good dryers but I have e mailed dd to ask if she wants them plus the two lovely childrens towelling dressing gowns, which are still big enough for the grandchildren

Looks very much as though I am heading for a load more to be removed this week. It`s never ending, I think I have finished then I do another sweep. There is far far more going out than is coming in