No "T" words mentioned at all - the continuation thread

candlelight_2013

Pleased to see you posting TA, you are just like me, anything to make their life easier. When Himself had leg ulcers all the doctor gave him was an emolient(sp) cream which wasn't going to heal them so I searched the internet,came up with manuka dressings, which I had heard about. I sent for them, dressed and bound his legs every day and within a month they were healing. Touch wood no re-occurence, his legs aren't pretty but that's nothing. I hope the chair is of help, but be careful. I know DH won't be heavy but be careful how you lift him because of your back and the strain of moving him.


Polly good to see you after such a long time I hope you start to feel more like YOU soon. I don't know about my eye yet, it isn't as bad as the other one was, but also I won't leave it as long either because I was almost blind by the time I had it done.


Lainey we had a lovely meal with the young people thankyou and Himself managed to eat a manageable amount and seemed to enjoy it. These young people are so lovely and very thoughtful to want to go out with their grandparents, a good time was had by all.


xx

ivyleaf

TA i'm so sorry to hear your news x
Scottishminnie and yours x

pollyanna_26

Candlelight it is very obvious you and himself are dearly loved by your family including the younger generation . I'm so glad Himself enjoyed his trip out and you had a welcome break yourself .
I've been thinking about anger . I believe it's a natural reaction when bad things happen to good people . I have felt angry so many times in life but in the end it's negative and quite destructive if you aren't normally that way inclined . I've found turning it to positive action is much better . Like Candlelight and others here I look for how to make things better day to day even in small ways . We've used Manuka honey , shower stools and little gadgets to ease things over the years and it makes a difference . Deciding to challenge the past 20 years of dds maltreatment was born from a deep anger that couldn't be addressed in any other way than starting from scratch . It was worth every moment and the past is gone and she is living in the present every day .


I can't generalise but men often struggle to cope with family illness and women seem to go into dealing with mode a little earlier .


polly x

[Deleted User]

Anger is very human but is really a complete waste of valuable time that you never get back. I 'flash' if something really stupid happens but can usually put it into perspective given a couple of hours and finding ways to cope and solutions to whatever the problem is as quickly as I can is much better emotionally and keeps life as level as possible . Sometimes it's not possible though and you need that anger to forge the changes that need making Polly, which is what you've managed isn't it? takes courage and perseverance but you're not a shirker and you've made it out the other side x

candlelight_2013

Believe me Polly I have known anger.



Why should Himself, who worked all hours God sent, and would give you his last penny if you wanted it, suffer so much through this awful illness. That when I first took him to the doctor and told him I thought he had heart failure, he wasn't interested and gave him Vitamin D. Eventually someone listened to me.


As Lyn says, on the whole anger isn't good, and more can be achieved in a calm collected way.


I know TA has been angry, knowing her DH didn't just have one serious illness, but then another and another. Her lovely husband is more accepting, whereas TA feels, like myself and others, that she has to fight for him all the way. It is what you do when you love someone isn't Polly like with your DD.


That's all a bit deep isn't it.


On a lighter note we are off to see my Sister and BIL tomorrow, haven't seen them since June so looking forward to that


Sleep tight everyone xx

pollyanna_26

A bit deep maybe Candlelight but very true . There are so many emotions involved we veer between anger , sorrow and many different feelings . The most important things are love and determination All the love in the world couldn't save my husband but it hopefully has saved my youngest . We can only do our best for those we love including the little things that help in small but important ways to make things a little easier for them . I still remember our conversation on V shape pillows when Himself needed propping up in bed . A small but useful aid .
Enjoy your day tomorrow dear Candlelight .


I hope TA and her husband will sleep tight too .
polly xx

candlelight_2013

Polly, he still uses the pillow occasionally.


At the beginning, if you remember, he couldn't lie down because his lungs were full of fluid, and I sent for the pillow and slip as soon as you told me about it. It was a life saver because he could stay in bed but sit up comfortably and try to sleep, otherwise he tried to sleep sitting up on the sofa which wasn't good.


It is all our different experiences which make this thread so comforting and helpful, long may it continue xx

scottishminnie

Hi all. Thanks for your thoughts and kind words. Looks like all of us are facing huge challenges but this is my nice "safe" place to come where people are sensible and rational whilst still caring.

MIL is stable which is a relief however my mother has been keeping something from me as she felt I had enough to deal with. Thankfully my father decided I should know and she called me yesterday to tell me that she was in hospital to have a suspicious breast lump removed. She's very positive that it will be fine (should know towards the end of next week) but I have to say it floored me. I've spent my adult life managing all manner if situations both in a personal and professional sense but it's all feeling so out of my control right now. People sometimes think I'm cold because I deal with things quite clinically but I was brought up never to show any emotion in public- old habits die hard though and I don't think I'll ever be a touchy cuddly type.

Lyn - are you on the count down now for the move? I think when I finally get time I should pretend we are moving and gave a clear out. It's long overdue.

Candlelight - have a nice relaxing day out.

TA - I hope Mr TA is managing to rest and you are too. It's all so easy to run yourself into the ground without realising it.

Lainey- are you getting out for long leisurely rides or us it still too hot?

Ivy and Polly - good to "see" you both.

I'm at work - off to prepare for a challenging meeting. Gives me something else to focus on though

[Deleted User]

We go a week tomorrow SM and it won't be a day too soon, my whole home is in those boxes and I'm getting bored with looking at them every room is piled in the corners. We've put the 'please take it for free' table out again at the end of the drive with some things that were left over from last time and some new things too. He who knows has gone through his tools and there are many pairs of different nosed pliers out? we'll see what goes today!

candlelight_2013

SM, it never rains but it pours does it. I don't know how old your Mum is, but I was 65 when a routine mammagram discovered a lump. It couldn't be felt because it was against the chest wall. I have to say I had the most wonderful treatment courtesy of our wonderful NHS. The only thing I found was that I felt I wasn't in control of anything that was happening.


They told me once I was diagnosed that I would receive 3 letters informing me of tests and various procedures which needed to be done before the op. I was still realing from being told , and now, until the tests had been done and the op performed, I didn't know what further treatment I would need. I wouldn't say I was a control freak, but I like to be in control of the situation, and with this I wasn't. Probably as well because I had people looking after me who knew exactly what they were doing



Thankfully the tumour was stage 2, and I only had a lumpectomy, so didn't need chemo but had 25 sessions of radiotherapy.


I am sure your Mum is in good hands and I wish her the very best. I know you will worry, both my DDs did and of course Himself, but they will tailor the treatment to suit her.


Of course all this is only relevent if it is cancer, it might just be cyst, and sometimes they don't bother to remove them.


Please keep us imformed and I am sending you a hug,and it is OK to show you are worried xx