The Garden Fence - proper Old Style support and chat!

Softstuff

CRANKY40 wrote: »

In other news I ran 4.10 km yesterday so the 5k is starting to come into sight. Thank you all and especially Softstuff for the encouragement.

You're welcome, but I'm not so much encouraging as simply marvelling at such a great achievement :T

Jazee

Mar, thought of you in local shop this morning. They are closing temporarily and sweets are reduced, well everything is but I'm only interested in sweets. 50p for the large bags. I didn't buy jelly babies but I did get shrimps and bananas.

Hard_Up_Hester

My firstborn arrived early due to placenta previa, my second pregnancy was terminated as it was ectopic. You will be pleased to know that both these were caused by my parent's divorce as it obviously caused me to be promiscuous. Thus spake the medical expert otherwise known as my mother in law!

nursemaggie

It's a wonder Mar's not asking where you are Jazee. She likes all sorts of sweets.

When I was a student nurse the statistics were 60% of first pregnancies end in miscarriage. I think it may have come down these days.

This is a good support thread because we are honest with our problems and we have all admitted life is not perfect we all have problems. Too many people keep things to themselves and give the impression they have had no sorrows or trials.

Cranky can we expect you to reach 5k this week. You are doing very well. It takes guts to start exercising, don't give it up, it will be even harder to do it next time.

Hester this living on a boat is hard work. May they all be easy locks. I don't suppose they will be.

pollyanna_26

monnagran wrote: »

Such sadness. It bears out the saying that everyone bears a secret that would break your heart if you knew it.

As soon as I became aware that I would never give birth to my own baby I started the adoption process. I am ever thankful that my ex went along with this. He might have been as much use as a chocolate teapot but he allowed me to be a mother, and for that I will always be grateful. My babies didn't grow under my heart, but in it.

For all those who have lost babies, before or after birth, I am reminded of the phrase, "Made from stardust. Blown from the hands of angels."

I truly believe that if you have never suffered you can never fully enter into the hearts of those who are suffering. I also believe that this is what makes this thread such a special place.
When you are in the deepest, darkest, pain filled place, it's easy to believe that you will never laugh again. This thread gives the lie to that idea.

Now I must get up to the shop before the heat becomes too unbearable.

THOUGHT FOR TODAY (This will be meaningful to many of you. You know who you are.)

The best therapist has fur and four legs.

I was out until late yesterday so have been reading all the posts . I am quoting Monna as she always manages to find the right words .
I send hugs and love to everyone here . We all have had the crosses and sadnesses of life to bear in many ways .
I don't expect that when Martin started the site it was meant to be more than money saving advice . Look what it became as it evolved over the years .
There is a loving , understanding and supportive strong community of good people here . Whatever the highs or lows there is kindness , empathy and lots of laughter .
It has helped and kept me going through the last few tough years and has done the same for so many .


I would be here forever if I tried to answer to each poster but would like to ask Linda if she could find some small comfort as she thinks of the unloved and neglected children that not all but many go on to loving happy lives .
Like many here my dd2 has never managed to carry a child full term . She has spent over 20 yrs caring through her work for children and is now a senior senco and safeguarding officer . A lot of children have now found forever homes through the work of herself and the many fellow safeguarding officers who identify those neglected children and fight like hell on their behalf .
Many nights she will be up late working on case notes etc for case conferences . The cuts don't help but she and others don't take any prisoners and there are positive results .


While I'm here I have to say dear Wolfy is one of my favourite online friends . She's brave , much stronger than she believes and has a wicked sense of humour . She will probably tell me off for saying that but I can take it .


Finally apologies for ever mentioning "that summer " I've sent Lyn some grey clouds to if you need any help yourselves .


polly x

maryb

I also had numerous miscarriages after DD1 then nothing for nearly two years. I signed up to an Open University degree to take my mind off not being able to have another baby. DD2 waited until I had paid the fees before giving me those unmistakable symptoms. Lord knows how she crept in under the wire, I was 42 when she was born.

I remember I was struck with how many women still suffered so much in their childbearing. It was something I hadn't been aware of until it was personal

[Deleted User]

I'm amazed and really pleased that when I put the table out again this morning and added a few things that didn't go yesterday and some toys that the boys don't play with we've had loads of people stopping to look and an awful lot of things have gone to a new home! brilliant! we've been successful in rehoming surplus to us furniture too. Wonderful what the words FREE - PLEASE TAKE can achieve!

LaineyT

I have no wish to cause her any embarrassment but having been privileged enough to meet dear LW in real life when she came over our way to meet Lulu I have to say she was exactly how I imagined her. Gentle, kind and so obviously an animal lover, my mare was completely at ease from the very start and anyone good enough for my horse :rotfl:
I looked into her face and saw a wonderful human being, just saying....

monnagran

Lainey, Her spirit and her innate goodness shines through her posts. You don't surprise me a bit.
If only she could see it herself.

You listening LW?

LameWolf

Floss wrote: »

LW I guess you've digested the PSociety website...are there any forums for spouses/ carers on there for directly relevant online support for you both?

I have the website bookmarked, but haven't had chance to "read and inwardly digest" as the saying goes, as yet. It is my intention to email them to ask if they have any pointers for people in our situation, ie both with illnesses that require a carer, and actually being each others' carers.

Polly and Lainey I thank you - am blushing furiously now! And thank you to all the others who have posted kind words.

I simply cannot imagine the pain and anguish at losing a child, whether m/c, early in life, or as an adult. You all of you have my total respect for managing somehow to carry on despite that anguish.

I have known one person it happened to - the "child" was 59 at the time, and was the chap who introduced Mr LW and myself; but when he was in hospital with, as we now know, no hope of coming out, his Mum was also there when we called in to see him.

I never had children, but I freely admit that was my choice; I never had any maternal instinct whatsoever, and it would have been just wrong on so many levels to bow to social pressure and have them.

I love Monna's thought for the day - it sort of ties in with my signature line, I think.