The Garden Fence - proper Old Style support and chat!

nursemaggie

Monna If you eat my transport you will have to eat a single decker bus a double decker bus a two carriage train and a four carriage train and a four carriage tram every time I use them because I don't suppose I get the same one very often.

LW your post sounds like mine it is totally like mine I have missed about 8 hospital appointments. It's 18 months since I put in a formal complaint and I have not heard a thing.

On Friday I got a bill for my Broadband for £80 :eek: from Virgin

I have signed up with Plusnet this morning and paid my landline in advance for a year. It will cost me £5 a month plus calls which I make very few of.

MMF007

Hello All!
We had a lovely 3 days in Yorkshire (although I hate the drive on the M62). Mount Grace priory was very interesting and the gardens, although small, were very pleasant. My BiL backed 3 winners at Ripon races and treated us to dinner afterwards! We all enjoyed the afternoon, and the thunder storm only started as we headed for the car, phew!

This morning we went to the beautiful RHS gardens at Harlow Carr, near Harrogate. Sooooo lovely. Was it VJsmum who went there recently? Well worth a visit!

Feeling a bit tired after the adventures now so I have quickly caught up with the thread while having a coffee break. Fuddle, I can only assume stupid neighbour is a very angry / dissatisfied person. His loss, as others say, he has missed out on being friends with a lovely young family who would brighten his life. Shame on him.
On a nicer note, Fuddle, I have also been loving the fishing series with Bob and Paul. My late dad adored fishing and taught many a person to fly fish. I was crying with laughter when Paul kept instructing Bob not to reel in, knowing that Bob would lose the fish if he did. Plus, Paul is superb at casting a fly line. A joy to watch. I love the constant banter, too!

I am pleased to see the menagerie is growing. I am a bit uncertain about a camel, they look like they feel so superior, but i reckon Monna could deal with him and the shopping trip to aldi would go smoothly in her capable hands.
So pleased your brother is home, Monna. Sounds like a triple bypass is the way to go, once his strength is up. Big op, but as Ivy says, routine these days.

Right, off to raid the freezer and make tomorrow's snap.

fuddle

I've been for coffee to my friend up the street. I know, you don't normally hear me say that these days. DH was able to bring her some off cuts of debris netting for her plot and she wanted to give us jam in return. What I should tell you is that we have learned we aren't connected because of just Dorset, we have since found out that we were born in the same village, her cousin was my dad's best friend and best man at mam and dad's wedding. She has given me his email address and we're now in contact via email as he lives in Reading.I'm learning a lot about dad. Anyway I digress.

A lot of the street heard the abuse I had to sustain on Sunday. The gossip mill is doing its thing but not about me, even though PS is spreading it that he was attacked my me and my hose and that I started it, the allotment warden's grandson heard and saw 4 against 1and all the noise coming from them not me. He heard the swearing and abuse. The wardens wife has mentioned to my friend that they feel I need to be looked after because PS is vicious. Also she told me that a chap over the plots heard and saw everything. He knows that PS's son has a reputation for aggression and was watching incase I needed help. She said he is appalled at what he saw.

It's just good to know there were witnesses. My friend said that she had been correcting any gossip that wasn't true and that I'm not to worry as they all have said his reputation goes before him and our reputation remains as a quiet polite family.

She explained that I had allowed myself to be drawn into a game. That I had caught him out doing something very unpleasant with the great greenhouse sabotage. She thinks he has wanted to press my buttons, lure me in to a situation that could make me act in a way that enables him to rubbish my character and any credibility I have with it. When it dawn in me that could be what happened it all makes sense.

She also explained that people do things because they're scarred in someway and helped me realise that I have lived a live listening to gossiping mam and aunties ripping people to shreds and because of that my own mother was aranoid what people thought of her. That made sense to me. She then suggested that because my mam lived closed off from the world in order to protect her own self from gossiping that I have no skills to be able to shrug that sort of stuff off. My reaction is to always stick up for myself and not show weakness and she thinks that my reaction of fight mode, even though my personality is very much to flee, comes from anger from losing my dad that I've never got to deal with and the influence that I must never show weakness from my mam.

She has advised that in the short term I imagine my family are in a happy little bubble and PS is trying to burst it because he wants to inflict misery on me so he can feel better about what he has been exposed as being like. She said he acts in revenge and that my job is to not give him any satisfaction that he's getting to me and what you said Lyn about saying 'have a good day' to any negativity and goading is the only response here. She said that I have it a bit all mixed up and that I don't have to react to show my strength as being Teflon but that my strength is a light, and airy happy bubble that only I can control. I'm to realise that negative people don't like that kind of strength because it confuses them, as they don't understand it.

Can you believe that? I have been cross with myself for getting drawn into these squabbles, I don't like that I get emotional and start reeling fast words that show my annoyance or try to get the otherside to see they are wronging me. I didn't like that my supposed strength seemed to be giving others some sort of satisfaction but I couldn't work out where I was going wrong or why I could never cope with the feelings I had after the event. I really am not a fighter.

So looking back now in my trying to show that I won't be bullied I actually became a pawn in their game and gave them exactly what they wanted - an argument that they could use against me. If I wanted to show my strength I should have just continued on and smiled at the intimidating face over the wall. I will try very hard to do that the next time, if there's a next time.

So sorry. I know this has been very self absorbed but it's been helpful to type to cement what I've learned into my brain. I'm fascinated so much so I feel like a huge weight has left my shoulders and I understand myself in a way I never have. I can change the part of my personality that I don't like now.

Right I'm off with my self absorbed-ness!!:o

VJsmum

Fuddle - makes perfect sense - I should keep that friend if i were you

MMF007 wrote: »

Was it VJsmum who went there recently? Well worth a visit!

I am pleased to see the menagerie is growing. I am a bit uncertain about a camel, they look like they feel so superior, but i reckon Monna could deal with him and the shopping trip to aldi would go smoothly in her capable hands.

No, not I.

Can we have a llama instead? or an Alpaca. Good for the wool.... Loves a llama i do.

OH is stressing over DD's student loan statement. the amount of 'interest' added does look rather horrific :eek: I have sent him Martin's link and hope he's calmed down now...

Dunno what to have for tea... and the house needs cleaning. Ho hum

moneyistooshorttomention

Nfh do use that as one of their tactics I have found - ie trying to provoke a reaction that they can quote "out of context" to try and show you up as the "guilty party" (when they actually are).

It struck me that that was what was happening when they tried to "set me up" to create a false photo or two (who says the camera never lies?). They were doing their best to make it lie.

Hence I've learnt to steer very clear of them - not look at them/not speak to them/literally stay physically as far away from them as possible/etc. That way they have nothing they can try to "twist" to suit their purposes. It may seem rude - but then I've been astonished at just how rude they've been to me - and southern English manners don't allow for being that rude back to them and it drove me up the wall sometimes knowing they are probably aware of this about us. I learnt to think "Better they think we/I are snooty than anything rather worse". When one of them literally yelled at me several times - I yelled back the first couple of times - to prove I do know how to forget our manners and give them back what they've just given me. Having proved I do know how to "send that boomerang back at them - but just dont choose to" - I have then been steering a very clear course away from them/ignoring them since.

Many years back a trade union official said to me (in a very different context), ie it was a general trade union dispute "We have to be seen as 'whiter than white' - or they'll use it against us". I've often remembered his words since - in very different contexts. It makes a lot of sense.

ivyleaf

MrsLurcherwalker wrote: »

Did I not say? Humphrey is a 'Shetland camel' good pedigree, well trained and terribly refined, besides he's very human friendly and knows how to refrain from spitting in polite company, that's why he's allowed to be a pat camel and is small enough (if he tries hard enough) to curl up on a lap, the licking? who knows but it's apparently a trait with them and most people don't find it objectionable.

Oh, that's fine then.

Fuds Just read your post. What a lovely friend! And everyone knows PS is the one in the wrong xx

Islandmaid

Blimey Fuds What a sweet and sour day you have had, lovely to find new friends and old ones, also great that you have 'locals' ready to jump to your defence.

Very sad that you have a bitter old git to have to deal with in the first place, I hope they get bored and move on with their vitriol x

'They' said it was going to be cooler today and rain, apparently France put in a higher bid, so the rain is going there

Would love some overnight rain

PS so mini Camel = sliders not burgers

monnagran

Dear me, I only mentioned cacti and camels in the same breath because my garden resembles a desert, If you can have an overgrown desert, that is. However, as so often happens on this thread, it suddenly takes on a life of its own and goes cantering off into the realms of fantasy. Tablet would have had it CATERING off, but I caught it just in time.

fuds, I'm not surprised that the whole neighbourhood is well aware of the P.S. family and their dreadful behaviour. It's so comforting to know that whatever stories they choose to tell about you will be instantly disbelieved. It's great too that the scene they threw was witnessed and that people were standing by to help if necessary.
They are all bullies and all they want is to provoke a reaction. Do not give them what they want. Ignore, ignore, ignore.
I think I've said all this before. Sorry, I try not to repeat myself.

I got quite excited this afternoon as I could see some quite dark clouds on the horizon. They stayed there for a while and then scuttled off in another direction. Ah well.

I started well on the housework. Scrubbed all the kitchen counters and cupboard doors then went to start on the living room.
The sofa that DIL left is enormous. It is a corner one, seats 5 sprawling, 7 sitting comfortably and 9 or 10 with a squeeze. And it's dark brown suede. What was she thinking? OK, so I've not gone to town on it for three or four weeks but you wouldn't believe the amount of white hairs stuck all over it.
I gave it a good going over. All the cushions came off and I rubbed, vacuumed, sponged and scrubbed. Then I did the same to the huge cushions. Unfortunately, I don't have any dustsheets or old towels that I could shroud it in. They may be packed up in my friends barn or they may have gone to the big storage unit in the sky. So I read the lecture to Millie. She listened with an expression that clearly said, "Oh, yeah!"

It took 2 hours and I was so tired that I swallowed a few lettuce leaves and went to sleep.

Now I'm going to ring DB.

FurryBeastOz

I’m still lurking but don’t often get the chance to post.

Monnagran So glad to hear your brother is making progress.

Fuddle I don’t have any advice except chin up. If necessary we appear to have a menagerie at our disposal. Or are we out of heffalumps? I’ve lost track of how many Mardatha has secreted in her freezer!

My DH looked a bit bemused the morning I spewed my tea over the tablet and exclaimed ‘we now have a camel to join the Heffalump’. But he knew exactly what I was reading.

Next thing we need a ‘Woozle’

LW, Nursemaggie When my DH arrived down here he was presented with two trolleys with over SIX MONTHS worth of discharge notes from the hospital which had yet to be dictated and typed up. They outsourced a lot of the NHS admin to Capita and it’s been a complete disaster.

I woudn’t be surprised if they are just hiring any school leaver who can type. I don’t think there are enough medical secretaries so the doctors themselves are having to do it on top of their normal duties.

Anyway, enough drivel. Have a lovely evening if you are in this time zone. Not sure about you Softstuff

moneyistooshorttomention

Comment re medical secretaries - brought back to my mind an interview I had once for a medical secretary position MANY years ago now. Whilst I was there - another medical secretary (the outgoing one??) said to me "We need specialist medical dictionaries for the job - and we have to buy our own".

The probable look on my face on being told I would be expected to pay for something myself that was necessary for my job may possibly be one of the reasons I wasn't offered the job:cool::cool:

Hence my reaction to that comment re medical secretaries was to think "Well - considering just how badly they were treating them even all that time ago = I'm not surprised".

Though I'm guessing that sort of malarkey was not uncommon already even 30 odd years ago - thinking of the subsequent Civil Service job I got, where I was informed by the Group Leader we would be expected to buy some of our own necessary stationary type stuff:cool:. My instant response - "Well it looks like I won't have all the stuff I need to be able to do my job then - if no-one is going to be buying it." They soon amended their ways and realised they had to buy it - or indeed I wouldnt have had it:rotfl: