The Garden Fence - proper Old Style support and chat!

pollyanna_26

NM What good news to read . We seem to have been waiting forever . All the luck in the world to him and if either of you can stretch to it send him for a chippy tea .
I'll be back in a while .
polly xx

silvasava

NM - as DS has had the offer of two jobs he deserves two chocolate hobnobs - for perseverance alone! Glad to hear he's not giving g up on his Japanese. Don't his results from his exam come through soon??
Did some shopping this morning for random items that were needed. Went through the self scan and got £20 cash..........and forgot to pick it up out of the dispenser. Needless to say when I went back it hadn't been handed in. Just hope the person needed it more than me.

thriftwizard

May I join in, please? Scratching my head mightily here, not without a bit of heartache, and would welcome some impartial advice. Some of you already know that we often host young German students in summer; they're aged 12-16 & over here for two weeks on a language "holiday" to improve their English, which is usually pretty good to start with. It's my little "earner" during what is usually a quiet time for me business-wise; we get paid about £200 per child and we can take 2 or 3 at a time. Some find that only just covers the cost of having them, but having raised 5 of my own I can feed them well & do lunchboxes on a shoestring!

Up to now, they have all been delightful kids. But this batch of 3 contains one I shall be very glad to see the back of... the younger 2, 12 & 13, are no problem, lovely lads in fact, but this one, at 14, tall & goodlooking, is the son of a local bigwig back in Germany & wasted no time informing us of this. He's clearly not impressed with our somewhat old-fashioned household; I understand enough German to register some of his nastier comments. He 's hardly eating any of the food we've served, or taking a lunchbox; I've been assured "We don't have breakfast in Germany" and I know perfectly well they are buying stuff in the supermarket on their way up to "school" in the morning. I'm not worried that they'll starve, but they are eating almost exclusively Haribo and crisps & drinking sugary fizz. Needless to say, they're not settling at night, but watching silly or scary videos or playing Death Metal or rap on their phones, then they can't get up in the morning or concentrate at school, and they have no idea what they're supposed to be taking with them for the afternoon outings to the beach or the countryside. Most of the kids we've hosted are speaking excellent English going into the second week; these three are hardly speaking a word, certainly not voluntarily.

The younger two are not old or savvy enough to stand up to him and I can't help feeling that their parents, who will have paid good money to send them over here, deserve better than this. We are supposed to treat them like our own, but I'd have torn a strip off any of mine who behaved like this - the two older boys did try! - but this boy isn't going to listen to me and I have no sanctions, really. He has hundreds of pounds with him & they rely on their mobiles to communicate with the leaders of the group. I've talked to the company who bring them over, but their view is that they'll sorted out between themselves.

I do have a bit of sympathy; he has a sibling with a major disability & I think he has to be Mr. Perfect Golden-Boy at home. But all the same, he's spoiling it for the others, keeping us up half the night & giving me palpitations trying to get them off on time in the mornings. Do I just grit my teeth for the rest of the week? Or should I jump up & down at the company with more urgency?

Floss

silvasava wrote: »

...Did some shopping this morning for random items that were needed. Went through the self scan and got £20 cash..........and forgot to pick it up out of the dispenser. Needless to say when I went back it hadn't been handed in. Just hope the person needed it more than me.

Did you ask the staff on the self serve, as I know at our Asda if you don't take the money it swallows it back into the till - they will be able to check your till receipt for the transaction details & check the till to see if it was taken back by the till.

pollyanna_26

Sorry landline call . One of the hospitals is trying to find a slot for dd after someone mucked up the diary for August .
I have been keeping a close eye on the coop over the years . I chose them originally for the ethical way they conducted their business .
I grew up with the coop shops and do a little shopping in the local one if they have a good offer on .
Luckily I never changed to their bank . I've been with the same bank under different owners since my first bank account . The whole banking outrage started me monitoring things closely . So far apart from the website update which quite honestly I the non techie person could have managed better so far although there were cheaper deals out there I've stayed put . I could pay less , I took myself out of fixed deals in case I wanted to jump ship .
I've been looking at the smaller providers too .

It's a bit of a no brainer Uni versus the prospect of fair conditions and prospects of advancement . The language can be done as and when he wants in other ways .
I know you're a not a Northener by birth but this Lancastrian will be raising a brew to you both . Now breathe !
polly xx

FairyPrincessk

Nursemaggie--Fantastic news! Chocolate hobnobs all around! Really well done to your DS--I know someone who used to work for Ald! and he was always full of praise. I know your energy woes have been long-standing. We do have notes on everything as well as meter readings. If this round doesn't work we'll put it in writing and send it to all three companies asking for it to be resolved as a complaint. If that doesn't work we'll take it to the ombudsman. It really is horrifying what the companies can get away with. Polly I like the sound of the gas boards! I hope you don't find switching too tedious.

Thriftwizard--ooh, what a difficult situation! I did an exchange, but it was during the school year and I went to school etc. It wasn't easy and my host family and I weren't well-suited, nor could either of us really explain what was going wrong. I think there are probably two tactics I would try if I were you--one--let them all know you'll be having a sit-down in a day or so (choose a time). Bake a cake (cake always helps!) and then explain that you think there are some things that need to change. I'd set a specific time by which they need to start quiet hours and be clear that they need to be better about getting themselves up in the morning. I'd also specify that you expect more from them in terms of knowing what they need to bring to activities. I'd end by asking if they have anything they'd like to raise with you. You can't stop them going to the shops etc. but I think you can expect them to go to bed and get up at a reasonable time. This may not work--but I think doing it calmly and laying it out as expectations is more likely to work than other approaches.

The second is you could try liaising with the exchange organization. Since you've done it for so long without issues, they're likely to take you seriously if you raise some. They may help to 'mediate' although I'd only try this after talking to the boys.

pollyanna_26

Sorry missed a few posts . Silvasaver As floss says . Most stores also have cctv around the tills .
TW Is this exchange through an agency? If so I would ring them and discuss this with them . One of my friends hosted students for years no problem , then in a small group she got one who was like the one you describe . She tried everything to deal with it as it was ruining the experience for everyone else involved . One young girl was so upset she asked to go home so friend rang the agency and the one causing the problem was taken away and his parents contacted re return home .
Hope it gets sorted .
polly

monnagran

thriftwizard, I think your options are pretty limited. As you said, if they were yours the phones would be removed at bedtime, the money would be removed and doled out in reasonable amounts at reasonable times and rudeness would would be checked pretty swiftly.
As it is, if you get no backup from the organisers of the group there is little that you can do. Perhaps you could practise the German phrase for, "I understand what you have just said and you are a very rude child."
Perhaps a word with the organisers along the lines of, you have always enjoyed having their students to stay and found the organisers very helpful but you really cannot be responsible for children like X, who not only was extremely rude to you but also ensured that his companions wasted the opportunities that their parents had paid for.

It may work and will certainly make them think. Presumably you are in loco parentis so have every right to be concerned.
If you really can't stand it, ask the organisation to remove the troublemaker and find someone else for him to stay with.

Sorry, can't think of anything else to do. What a rotten situation.

silvasava

Floss & Polly - thank you. I did check with the assistant on duty at the self scan and she didn't notice it otherwise she would have handed it in. There is a camera and security are going to check but even if they see someone there's not a lot can be done. I don't think their cash dispensers at the self scan retrieve the money if it's not taken. I'm resigned to losing it
Thriftwizards - maybe drop the hint that you always send a report to the company/parents/school on how the children have behaved as they always like to know as they are acting as ambassadors for their school/country??

nursemaggie

We have a packet of chocolate hobnobs each. I was offering mine round. He is glad he did keep going with Aldi. He will not get paid until September but by Christmas he will have earned more than at the bakery for less hours.

thriftwizard I agree with FPK. It sounds the best thing to do. I would also have a word with the oldest one after the others have gone. Then tell him if he does not behave and stop disrupting the learning of the other two, you will be contacting his parents to ask them to take him home. He does not know you have not got their phone number.

I would combine it with contacting the agency again and make it clear how long you have been doing this and have never had problems before. The younger two boys deserve a better time. They will probably be relived if you sort it.